Dear readers
There's something about me, feeling completely breathless, utterly helpless that I just want to stop doing every single thing. Something precious will soon be out of my sight. Though I never own the precious, had the precious, but it is my precious. YES. 3 precious words appeared in one sentence. Cos I couldn't do anything more, nor say anything that's in my heart for so long. I don't want to do this anymore. But I don't know why I kept telling myself not to give up because I hadn't tried. I don't want to be a complete loser. Becos I'd never tried to hold it tight till refusal and rejectment comes in. So I told myself that there's still time, at least days. Make use of it to leave some precious memories for the precious. But I really don't know how. And so I'm stress, worried and dreamt about precious almost everynight. This is TRUE. He appeared in my dreams many times.
But there's another voice inside me, that says, just stop. Its better for me to stop. I don't have to do it. I don't have to feel stress. Leave it to God and I'll find peace. Lord, make me realise what I don't realised. Especially Your goodness. I want to have the love of God in me. I don't want Your love to me to be one-sided. I want to love you more. I know how it feels like and I hope I won't do this to you Lord.
Lord, I know how it feels like to have something precious taken away. I know who's precious to You. Its the soul of Thy creation. The people. Whenever the devil tempted them and leads them away from You. Lord, I know it is really sad. I hope that I can do something about it. Something that I can do for You in this area. But I'm still very unprepared. Prepare my Thy ways and sanctify me.
If someone is not meant for me, then just let it be.
If something is not meant to be heard or said, then let it be.
The most important thing is, I still have You.
Whether I am a complete winner or loser doesn't matter. The most important is, the VICTORY is the Lord and therefore, I will REJOICE!
Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say Rejoice!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
I've never felt this way before
Hey readers
I don't know how. Happy I should be or sad I should be.
I was so excited about the steamboat on thurs. Many things happened on that day.
1. School. Fell sick and sore throat. didn't slp much that night.
2. Go sunshine plaza with nigel. He was so kind. Postponed his gym training just to be my tour guide to sunshine plaza. Help me carry lappy and umbrella. Best "tour guide" ever man. You can't get this anywhere!
3. Meet Yin San while waiting for tim n ben to come.
Saw Ben's msg and I was thinking why he was at airport? The 1st thing that comes into my head was he might be sending maggie off! HAHA! Den in the end me and yin san teased him!
I tot my strawberry period came. But in the end, I scare myself.
4. Ben came. I pretend to be fine. but actually I was overly excited inside.
5. Go steamboat place. Wahh, that day was raining away and it doesn't feel good eating at somewhere like that, somemore expensive and the oil keep on splattering like nobody's business like dat. But I still felt really happy. Esp he started talking and asked me something about why I was early and so on.
6. He was so cute :)
7. He was so funny :)
8. OVERSEAS? Why go overseas? to where? for wad?
9. My heart sank.
(but I said, "wah! scholarship! wah! london!)
10. My heart sank further when he said he's going for 3 to mabye 4 years.
(but I said, " wah! cool!)
11. Go sunshine plaza to collect poster.
Felt so urgent! need to go toilet. In the end I felt like it took millions of yrs just to get to toilet.
Finally reached there. I was so dumb. The guy pointed there, the rubberband. I look at the direction hes pointing at, and asked where? Den he said there, I look at the same direction agn and asked where? Den he said, THERE! ON MY HAND! and looked and OH!!!!! HAHAHAHA!
(SLOW SHI TING)
And me and yin san enjoyed singing song together and laughing away at each other's dumb song! YI PEE YA YA YI PEE YI PEE YA!!
12. We came back after 20+ mins from sunshine plaza and I told jokes to the 3 guys.
13. I love the way he laughs when I did the indian lightbulb dance right in front of him!
14. and one costumer laughs, "HA! HA! HA!" It really sounds like some martial arts SHI FU yelling HA! HA! HA! when he attack his opponent. Thats wad ben said. I couldn't agree more. When I pee, I heard the person HA!HA!HA! again. I was HA!HA!HA!-ing away when I'm peeing too! :D
15. Soon, its time to go home. 3 hours just past like this. and Ben ended being the one that the oil loves the most. He kena the most oil being splattered on him. Its mostly Tim's fault. He spilled the soup on that hot oil. poor ben cannot siam in time. So he "ARGH!" loadds of time mann!! Its kinda funny though.
16. I love the way he helped me to shift the prawns nearer to me.
17. I love how he was willing to scope some soup for his friends and me despite the scary oil.
18. I screamed onto Yinsan's ears via the rolled up poster!
19. Ben wanted to help me with my stuff. But I told him nvm I can managed.
20. Ben asked me about the poster. And I told him its Ginvera. And hugged the poster in front of everybody.
21. He went boarded the train alone.
22. I looked at him when he's on the train. When the train ran past my eyes, I didn't dare to look back at him and just laughed becos Yin San laughed.
23. I found out from tim about the girl who ben likes. It reminded me that he might not be kidding about he only reply msgs to the girl of his dreams. and he said no so loudly when jeremy asked so its me rtye?
24. I couldn't feel any lousier than before.
I couldn't sleep well. And the next day I've overslept..
I dunno wad gave me the courage to ask him out for badminton. Probably I managed to convince myself that he won't feel odd.
He was busy with youth camp preps so he can't meet me.
Anw, I felt better after talking to him about random stuffs. haha
I realised that only the person who hurts u, be it indirectly or directly, is the only person that could make you find back your real smile.
I dunno whether its my eyes got problem a not. But from the sideview, I saw him in church.
He said he's not going to special ministry and has not attended one in his life. but there, on friday night, I saw him.
By the way, the speaker made me almost cried. Can I really sing, "take my life, my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold, take my hands etc.?"
I felt that I'm still very carnal. becos, I still can't do that. I need more serious discipleship. I seriously think that when ben goes, I can just focus solely on God. Love God more than anything else. Thats my intention, my goal, my aspiration.
Today, presentation was slack. Not me but the faccies. Go around asking pple whether they wan some chips a not when pple are presenting away. HAH! She said I presented good enough and dunnid to cover all. Asked simpler questions like wads the diff between personal care and beauty care industry instead of asking me wads strategic group :)
Its been a while since I last fell down. When ben hits my head, I felt giddy and leaned backwards. I dunno what he was trying to support me from the back. But he grabbed me and it almost touch the side of my boobs mann.. I got stunned when I saw its him and just felt...wah! it feels like I'm in a drama. Lovin it?
Even though he's leaving and do his "political" course, and even though he does not like me,
I will patiently wait. I've never felt so right. Lost in thoughts of him.
It suddenly reminds me of my childhood promise to my mother. Cos I once promised her that I will not get a bf only until I reached 22 yrs old, if I got bf before that, I will become an old witch. If I wait for him, I really might not get any bf till 22! This is seriously so scary. Never promise what you don't mean it. See now, I think I've cursed myself since childhood days. *shake heads*
Oh, just now was his first comment on my facebook status! He said sorry he hit my head.
I wanted to tell him its not the head that feels pain, its how he touched me felt really awkward.
Ben,
After I heard about your scholarship to london to pursue further studies, the first question that come into my mind was, why can't you choose NUS instead? Its pretigous and good. Well, perhaps maybe NUS doesn't have the course you wanted.
Now, Worship service, CEP, Prayer meeting, gospel serive, YP in amk are going to lack of one voice singing, listening, and praying.
Now, Youth camp, mission trip to cambodia, DVBS are going to lack of one person service.
Now, captain's ball and soccer are going to lack of one person playing.
Now, Shi Ting lack of someone to HA!HA!HA! with.
I just hope that all will be well there and that u'll have a safe journey back to Singapore.
I also hope that u'll be able to find a church there to continue to serve Him and reach out to others.
May you be well and happy always. No matter what happens, apply Lordship into your life, and you'll never know what God can do for you!
Just last thing that I hope...
I hope that I'll be able to recognise you when you come back!! :D
Take care. (sobs.)
With lots of love,
Shi Ting
I don't know how. Happy I should be or sad I should be.
I was so excited about the steamboat on thurs. Many things happened on that day.
1. School. Fell sick and sore throat. didn't slp much that night.
2. Go sunshine plaza with nigel. He was so kind. Postponed his gym training just to be my tour guide to sunshine plaza. Help me carry lappy and umbrella. Best "tour guide" ever man. You can't get this anywhere!
3. Meet Yin San while waiting for tim n ben to come.
Saw Ben's msg and I was thinking why he was at airport? The 1st thing that comes into my head was he might be sending maggie off! HAHA! Den in the end me and yin san teased him!
I tot my strawberry period came. But in the end, I scare myself.
4. Ben came. I pretend to be fine. but actually I was overly excited inside.
5. Go steamboat place. Wahh, that day was raining away and it doesn't feel good eating at somewhere like that, somemore expensive and the oil keep on splattering like nobody's business like dat. But I still felt really happy. Esp he started talking and asked me something about why I was early and so on.
6. He was so cute :)
7. He was so funny :)
8. OVERSEAS? Why go overseas? to where? for wad?
9. My heart sank.
(but I said, "wah! scholarship! wah! london!)
10. My heart sank further when he said he's going for 3 to mabye 4 years.
(but I said, " wah! cool!)
11. Go sunshine plaza to collect poster.
Felt so urgent! need to go toilet. In the end I felt like it took millions of yrs just to get to toilet.
Finally reached there. I was so dumb. The guy pointed there, the rubberband. I look at the direction hes pointing at, and asked where? Den he said there, I look at the same direction agn and asked where? Den he said, THERE! ON MY HAND! and looked and OH!!!!! HAHAHAHA!
(SLOW SHI TING)
And me and yin san enjoyed singing song together and laughing away at each other's dumb song! YI PEE YA YA YI PEE YI PEE YA!!
12. We came back after 20+ mins from sunshine plaza and I told jokes to the 3 guys.
13. I love the way he laughs when I did the indian lightbulb dance right in front of him!
14. and one costumer laughs, "HA! HA! HA!" It really sounds like some martial arts SHI FU yelling HA! HA! HA! when he attack his opponent. Thats wad ben said. I couldn't agree more. When I pee, I heard the person HA!HA!HA! again. I was HA!HA!HA!-ing away when I'm peeing too! :D
15. Soon, its time to go home. 3 hours just past like this. and Ben ended being the one that the oil loves the most. He kena the most oil being splattered on him. Its mostly Tim's fault. He spilled the soup on that hot oil. poor ben cannot siam in time. So he "ARGH!" loadds of time mann!! Its kinda funny though.
16. I love the way he helped me to shift the prawns nearer to me.
17. I love how he was willing to scope some soup for his friends and me despite the scary oil.
18. I screamed onto Yinsan's ears via the rolled up poster!
19. Ben wanted to help me with my stuff. But I told him nvm I can managed.
20. Ben asked me about the poster. And I told him its Ginvera. And hugged the poster in front of everybody.
21. He went boarded the train alone.
22. I looked at him when he's on the train. When the train ran past my eyes, I didn't dare to look back at him and just laughed becos Yin San laughed.
23. I found out from tim about the girl who ben likes. It reminded me that he might not be kidding about he only reply msgs to the girl of his dreams. and he said no so loudly when jeremy asked so its me rtye?
24. I couldn't feel any lousier than before.
I couldn't sleep well. And the next day I've overslept..
I dunno wad gave me the courage to ask him out for badminton. Probably I managed to convince myself that he won't feel odd.
He was busy with youth camp preps so he can't meet me.
Anw, I felt better after talking to him about random stuffs. haha
I realised that only the person who hurts u, be it indirectly or directly, is the only person that could make you find back your real smile.
I dunno whether its my eyes got problem a not. But from the sideview, I saw him in church.
He said he's not going to special ministry and has not attended one in his life. but there, on friday night, I saw him.
By the way, the speaker made me almost cried. Can I really sing, "take my life, my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold, take my hands etc.?"
I felt that I'm still very carnal. becos, I still can't do that. I need more serious discipleship. I seriously think that when ben goes, I can just focus solely on God. Love God more than anything else. Thats my intention, my goal, my aspiration.
Today, presentation was slack. Not me but the faccies. Go around asking pple whether they wan some chips a not when pple are presenting away. HAH! She said I presented good enough and dunnid to cover all. Asked simpler questions like wads the diff between personal care and beauty care industry instead of asking me wads strategic group :)
Its been a while since I last fell down. When ben hits my head, I felt giddy and leaned backwards. I dunno what he was trying to support me from the back. But he grabbed me and it almost touch the side of my boobs mann.. I got stunned when I saw its him and just felt...wah! it feels like I'm in a drama. Lovin it?
Even though he's leaving and do his "political" course, and even though he does not like me,
I will patiently wait. I've never felt so right. Lost in thoughts of him.
It suddenly reminds me of my childhood promise to my mother. Cos I once promised her that I will not get a bf only until I reached 22 yrs old, if I got bf before that, I will become an old witch. If I wait for him, I really might not get any bf till 22! This is seriously so scary. Never promise what you don't mean it. See now, I think I've cursed myself since childhood days. *shake heads*
Oh, just now was his first comment on my facebook status! He said sorry he hit my head.
I wanted to tell him its not the head that feels pain, its how he touched me felt really awkward.
Ben,
After I heard about your scholarship to london to pursue further studies, the first question that come into my mind was, why can't you choose NUS instead? Its pretigous and good. Well, perhaps maybe NUS doesn't have the course you wanted.
Now, Worship service, CEP, Prayer meeting, gospel serive, YP in amk are going to lack of one voice singing, listening, and praying.
Now, Youth camp, mission trip to cambodia, DVBS are going to lack of one person service.
Now, captain's ball and soccer are going to lack of one person playing.
Now, Shi Ting lack of someone to HA!HA!HA! with.
I just hope that all will be well there and that u'll have a safe journey back to Singapore.
I also hope that u'll be able to find a church there to continue to serve Him and reach out to others.
May you be well and happy always. No matter what happens, apply Lordship into your life, and you'll never know what God can do for you!
Just last thing that I hope...
I hope that I'll be able to recognise you when you come back!! :D
Take care. (sobs.)
With lots of love,
Shi Ting
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
A love, A God
There's something that keeps me going, and someone to keep me strong..That something is love, and that someone is God.
God has given me an apage love which is unconditional love. This love is a love that does not demand reciprocation, a love that is self-sacrifice. Self consumes. A love that RESULTED in His sending Jesus down to the cross to die for me.
Thank You Lord for this love, I'm made righteous and justified in His eyes.
Will you give this love just one chance, to be the miracle of your life?
God has given me an apage love which is unconditional love. This love is a love that does not demand reciprocation, a love that is self-sacrifice. Self consumes. A love that RESULTED in His sending Jesus down to the cross to die for me.
Thank You Lord for this love, I'm made righteous and justified in His eyes.
Will you give this love just one chance, to be the miracle of your life?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
I guess
I guess I would feel better after blogging.
So many things happened. The only day which I felt the happiest is SATURDAY.
I seriously love that day mann.
Lunch with mag and san was super funny. I told them jokes and yin san also said some. It really made me laugh loadds even though I'm the one who's telling jokes. HAHA! :D
It happened that I have to play for Children's corner during singpiration on that day too. And I kind of enjoyed watching the kids doing actions and singing praises to God.
I love the bible study session with my dear sisters in Christ. So many came!! Most of them just finished "O"s! Great!! finally they can relax more.
I love the refreshments provided by Uncle Muti. This time round, THERES MY FAVVVVV!!!
SEAWEEEEEDDS!! WOOOHOOO! (sea veggies~)
After that I told jokes to rina and she laughed until very funny and cute!! I was hurrying to one corner to hide myself and laugh really loudly there! ahhaa!
Oh, and I played captain's ball!! I saw ben at the railling there. I think he called my name. And I'm kinda confused and looked at him blankly and said," I'm coming to play captain's ball!"
Anw, I didn't expect myself to play so much. and I just ran and ran and continued to play even its like raining here and there. Enjoyed it loadds. And obviously, enjoyed watching someone playing too. Hahaha! I remembered the way he laughed to yin fei. Super sarcastic yet funny thou. :D He's jus so cute. hehehhehe. And he replayed a face that I did when the ball near hit me. It was jus too scary. So kit soon was throwing the ball with all his might! Oh, and I went to snatch the on-coming ball from him and I accidentally hit his palm I think. (but I don't care. I don't think its painful. so i never say sorry). So I felt tat the captain's ball was scary to me..and I'm scary to kenneth because I almst made his spects fall and he almost tripped. I grabbed his arm and asked whether he's seriously okay a not. I hope he'll forgive me.
Last but not least...the guy(ben), he tapped me with his fingers I guess.. I seriously thought he went off with others to have dinner together. But there he was, next to me. When he tapped me, I was looking down and thought.."do I have a friend that I know that carries something like a hockey stick?" den I looked up...and to my HUGE suprise..its HIMM!! WOO HOOO! JACKPOT!
We talked as we walked over the head bridge. I wasn't feeling that good at that moment because nicholas is chasing after some verdict on food. So I was kinda troubled. But because he was there, I felt slightly better. After he left, I suddenly dunno where my brain went to. I dunno what to type to nicholas anymore. And when I was buying food, I took out my ez link card instead of wallet. I think I'm lost in some wonderland. HAHA! SMILING so much when walking back home. :) Saturday was a great day!
So is today's morning. Ben was sitting a row behind me at the side. And he saw me and I saw him when we're both at a distance. hehhee. I think I looked quite blur that time. Anw, after that..I only get to see him agn after the meeting with the run for your life committee. He was chatting so busily. Well, den I went off to piano. It was pretty good. :) and later in the evening, I went to celebrate with granny too. I felt good too :D
Here's the thing...its tmr's UT!! I just don't feel like studying. My lappy cannot work and my sis is going to make a complain to harvey norman tmr with regards to the warranty. And also my bro might get involved in a police case. Sighs. His friends sold him things that are underpriced (without the boss permission too), so now the goods are with my bro. As my bro thought that the price was given at his friend's boss permission, thats why my bro bought it. Who knows his friend did something with the receipt and now the boss found out and made a police case. Sighs. His poor friends and my brother...I wonder how they are doing now. I seriously hope that they will be fine.
Sighs. I hope saturday comes quickly again. :)
Bye readers :]
So many things happened. The only day which I felt the happiest is SATURDAY.
I seriously love that day mann.
Lunch with mag and san was super funny. I told them jokes and yin san also said some. It really made me laugh loadds even though I'm the one who's telling jokes. HAHA! :D
It happened that I have to play for Children's corner during singpiration on that day too. And I kind of enjoyed watching the kids doing actions and singing praises to God.
I love the bible study session with my dear sisters in Christ. So many came!! Most of them just finished "O"s! Great!! finally they can relax more.
I love the refreshments provided by Uncle Muti. This time round, THERES MY FAVVVVV!!!
SEAWEEEEEDDS!! WOOOHOOO! (sea veggies~)
After that I told jokes to rina and she laughed until very funny and cute!! I was hurrying to one corner to hide myself and laugh really loudly there! ahhaa!
Oh, and I played captain's ball!! I saw ben at the railling there. I think he called my name. And I'm kinda confused and looked at him blankly and said," I'm coming to play captain's ball!"
Anw, I didn't expect myself to play so much. and I just ran and ran and continued to play even its like raining here and there. Enjoyed it loadds. And obviously, enjoyed watching someone playing too. Hahaha! I remembered the way he laughed to yin fei. Super sarcastic yet funny thou. :D He's jus so cute. hehehhehe. And he replayed a face that I did when the ball near hit me. It was jus too scary. So kit soon was throwing the ball with all his might! Oh, and I went to snatch the on-coming ball from him and I accidentally hit his palm I think. (but I don't care. I don't think its painful. so i never say sorry). So I felt tat the captain's ball was scary to me..and I'm scary to kenneth because I almst made his spects fall and he almost tripped. I grabbed his arm and asked whether he's seriously okay a not. I hope he'll forgive me.
Last but not least...the guy(ben), he tapped me with his fingers I guess.. I seriously thought he went off with others to have dinner together. But there he was, next to me. When he tapped me, I was looking down and thought.."do I have a friend that I know that carries something like a hockey stick?" den I looked up...and to my HUGE suprise..its HIMM!! WOO HOOO! JACKPOT!
We talked as we walked over the head bridge. I wasn't feeling that good at that moment because nicholas is chasing after some verdict on food. So I was kinda troubled. But because he was there, I felt slightly better. After he left, I suddenly dunno where my brain went to. I dunno what to type to nicholas anymore. And when I was buying food, I took out my ez link card instead of wallet. I think I'm lost in some wonderland. HAHA! SMILING so much when walking back home. :) Saturday was a great day!
So is today's morning. Ben was sitting a row behind me at the side. And he saw me and I saw him when we're both at a distance. hehhee. I think I looked quite blur that time. Anw, after that..I only get to see him agn after the meeting with the run for your life committee. He was chatting so busily. Well, den I went off to piano. It was pretty good. :) and later in the evening, I went to celebrate with granny too. I felt good too :D
Here's the thing...its tmr's UT!! I just don't feel like studying. My lappy cannot work and my sis is going to make a complain to harvey norman tmr with regards to the warranty. And also my bro might get involved in a police case. Sighs. His friends sold him things that are underpriced (without the boss permission too), so now the goods are with my bro. As my bro thought that the price was given at his friend's boss permission, thats why my bro bought it. Who knows his friend did something with the receipt and now the boss found out and made a police case. Sighs. His poor friends and my brother...I wonder how they are doing now. I seriously hope that they will be fine.
Sighs. I hope saturday comes quickly again. :)
Bye readers :]
Friday, November 12, 2010
Harvesting a courageous thought
Hey readers! :D
The concert was awesome!! the audience made me felt super "shiok"! And most importantly, HE CAME!! He even took pics with me!! one to one!! I felt that the pic does not look really great..cos he does have a fat fat face in the pic. So I cropped out the one that we took together with the other guys, where he was sitting beside me (: cos he look better in that pic. And guess wad, it fits so nicely in the phone as wallpaper and I simply love the phone more because of that wallpaper! my class mate commented that she saw me simply to myself after presentation because I was look at the phone. And she knew it that I was smiling becos of HIM!! haha!!
and I was abit crazy and said, " ben was smiling to me."
Oh well, anw JUST NOW...
I suddenly had a courgeous thought! A thought for confession!
I think to myself...what will happen if I leave the wallpaper there till tmr where all my church friends will see? I imagined myself saying,"Yes, actually I like him since sec 4 and none of you notice it. And I just don't wanna hide anymore." and I imagined myself added, "Cos, I don't feel what's the point of hiding it. And to fall in love with some one like him, I don't think its wrong. And I don't mind letting him know how I feel about him too."
I mean..I can imagined myself saying that.. like seriously.
But I don't know whether I would be brave enough to say it.
And I feel rather foolish and stupid instead if I would have told them.
Because things will spread. And what happens if he don't feel comfortable talking to me anymore? and even avoid me? Will I be brave enough to accept such consequences? Well, I just don't think I'm prepared for this. So yea, I guess I have to be discreet. And probably, I'm just getting wild thoughts and excitement. I should just stop being like this Shi Ting. Cos its meaningless and in the end, nothing may happen.
Oh well...
Bye readers! [:
The concert was awesome!! the audience made me felt super "shiok"! And most importantly, HE CAME!! He even took pics with me!! one to one!! I felt that the pic does not look really great..cos he does have a fat fat face in the pic. So I cropped out the one that we took together with the other guys, where he was sitting beside me (: cos he look better in that pic. And guess wad, it fits so nicely in the phone as wallpaper and I simply love the phone more because of that wallpaper! my class mate commented that she saw me simply to myself after presentation because I was look at the phone. And she knew it that I was smiling becos of HIM!! haha!!
and I was abit crazy and said, " ben was smiling to me."
Oh well, anw JUST NOW...
I suddenly had a courgeous thought! A thought for confession!
I think to myself...what will happen if I leave the wallpaper there till tmr where all my church friends will see? I imagined myself saying,"Yes, actually I like him since sec 4 and none of you notice it. And I just don't wanna hide anymore." and I imagined myself added, "Cos, I don't feel what's the point of hiding it. And to fall in love with some one like him, I don't think its wrong. And I don't mind letting him know how I feel about him too."
I mean..I can imagined myself saying that.. like seriously.
But I don't know whether I would be brave enough to say it.
And I feel rather foolish and stupid instead if I would have told them.
Because things will spread. And what happens if he don't feel comfortable talking to me anymore? and even avoid me? Will I be brave enough to accept such consequences? Well, I just don't think I'm prepared for this. So yea, I guess I have to be discreet. And probably, I'm just getting wild thoughts and excitement. I should just stop being like this Shi Ting. Cos its meaningless and in the end, nothing may happen.
Oh well...
Bye readers! [:
Sunday, October 31, 2010
BREATHE IN~ BREATHE OUT!
HEEEEEE'S GOING FOR MY CONCERT!
OH GOSH! I can't help but to feel super excited about everything EVERYTHING! about meeting him to pass ticket to him and I had a short and heart pacing convo with him just now. Becos I was waiting him to say yes! AND HE SAID YEA SURE! after asking my freaking many questions. I bet he hasn't read any of the facebook msg that I sent to him.. BUT nvrmind! HE'S GOING GOING GOING! :DDDD
I've got his contact no. OH YEA! :D I mean I know where to get his contact number, but I want to ask him personally so that he won't have any idea that I stalked him in facebook.
MY FACE IS BURNING HOTT! hahaha! Yin san made me laugh loadds
She was saying that she shitted when I was in gospel during ushering.
LOL!!! I TOLD HER I CAN'T IMAGINE AND SHE SAID," who ask u to go imagine?! don't imagine! you're supposed to be thinking of smiling and gospel and not think of me shitting LOL!"
PP has to rework. But how to cut down history to 100 words?
Its so impossible. :( NVRMIND. I need to apply my pro summary skills:D
SEEYA ALL READERS!
oh! for those of my who knows about that secret guy...and are going to the concert...
pls, don't make things obvious. okay. don't come and ask me issit him and point to him.
Because he's very observant wan. Once u point point den i "malu malu"
OKAY? help me to keep it a secret :D
THANKS READERS!
bye readers! :D
OH GOSH! I can't help but to feel super excited about everything EVERYTHING! about meeting him to pass ticket to him and I had a short and heart pacing convo with him just now. Becos I was waiting him to say yes! AND HE SAID YEA SURE! after asking my freaking many questions. I bet he hasn't read any of the facebook msg that I sent to him.. BUT nvrmind! HE'S GOING GOING GOING! :DDDD
I've got his contact no. OH YEA! :D I mean I know where to get his contact number, but I want to ask him personally so that he won't have any idea that I stalked him in facebook.
MY FACE IS BURNING HOTT! hahaha! Yin san made me laugh loadds
She was saying that she shitted when I was in gospel during ushering.
LOL!!! I TOLD HER I CAN'T IMAGINE AND SHE SAID," who ask u to go imagine?! don't imagine! you're supposed to be thinking of smiling and gospel and not think of me shitting LOL!"
PP has to rework. But how to cut down history to 100 words?
Its so impossible. :( NVRMIND. I need to apply my pro summary skills:D
SEEYA ALL READERS!
oh! for those of my who knows about that secret guy...and are going to the concert...
pls, don't make things obvious. okay. don't come and ask me issit him and point to him.
Because he's very observant wan. Once u point point den i "malu malu"
OKAY? help me to keep it a secret :D
THANKS READERS!
bye readers! :D
Monday, October 25, 2010
what a day
Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Saviour am happy and blest;
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Saviour all the day long.
Hey readers!
I thanked God that I felt all is at rest! Even though PP had stressed me so much on the previous sat and sun, where I managed to complete the rest of 5 sections, writing an additional of 3000+ words, I felt God's with me, supporting me and let me have the strength and will to finish my work. I'm really filled with His goodness. He is the Only One worthy to be praised!
Here's the thing about today k..
I did something exceptionally stupid in class.
For such a long period of time, I've been shaking my legs, with my legs crossed and thought that my legs were in touch with the bunch of wires underneath my team's table. So i happily shook my legs and my legs "leaned" on the "wires". Den my friend asked me, " Shi Ting! Why are you shaking my legs?" I was "huh?!" and "what?!", "how did you....(know)", and I looked down, still shaking my legs at that position. Man man man...I've been shaking my friend's leg!!! (She's sitting opp me!!) And she told me that I've been shaking her legs for a while!!! And she said she didn't mind, thinking it was okay for a while, but when I still continued to shake my legs (and her legs) for quite sometimes, she just couldn't bear it any longer and asked me why. I was like in a totally shock mode when I just discovered that "paiseh" fact, and at the same time, my other teammate was laughing his head off. He was saying again and again, "HOW COULD YOU THOUGHT THAT THE LEG WAS A WIRE?!?! HOW? HAHAHAHA!" Then we all just laughed out loudd!! He looked down at my legs again as I was showing him how I did it. Den we all laughed again! This was really seriously funny and stupid.
I certainly made their day man! :DD
Kim shared the funny old man that doesn't know how to insert the straw into the plastic cup with the plastic wrapped on the mouth of the cup. (those bubble tea cup kind) I can't believe that the man actually can squeeze the cup (adding pressure to the cup) and best thing is, he inserted the straw on the blunt side, not the sharp side...and of cos, best thing ever done leads to best outcome, and the drink spilled kim and her ah ma!!! hahahaha!!! Kim added that the old man still continue to drink it! hahahha! ULTIMATE OLD MAN! (UOM UOM!)
BYE READERS
I in my Saviour am happy and blest;
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Saviour all the day long.
Hey readers!
I thanked God that I felt all is at rest! Even though PP had stressed me so much on the previous sat and sun, where I managed to complete the rest of 5 sections, writing an additional of 3000+ words, I felt God's with me, supporting me and let me have the strength and will to finish my work. I'm really filled with His goodness. He is the Only One worthy to be praised!
Here's the thing about today k..
I did something exceptionally stupid in class.
For such a long period of time, I've been shaking my legs, with my legs crossed and thought that my legs were in touch with the bunch of wires underneath my team's table. So i happily shook my legs and my legs "leaned" on the "wires". Den my friend asked me, " Shi Ting! Why are you shaking my legs?" I was "huh?!" and "what?!", "how did you....(know)", and I looked down, still shaking my legs at that position. Man man man...I've been shaking my friend's leg!!! (She's sitting opp me!!) And she told me that I've been shaking her legs for a while!!! And she said she didn't mind, thinking it was okay for a while, but when I still continued to shake my legs (and her legs) for quite sometimes, she just couldn't bear it any longer and asked me why. I was like in a totally shock mode when I just discovered that "paiseh" fact, and at the same time, my other teammate was laughing his head off. He was saying again and again, "HOW COULD YOU THOUGHT THAT THE LEG WAS A WIRE?!?! HOW? HAHAHAHA!" Then we all just laughed out loudd!! He looked down at my legs again as I was showing him how I did it. Den we all laughed again! This was really seriously funny and stupid.
I certainly made their day man! :DD
Kim shared the funny old man that doesn't know how to insert the straw into the plastic cup with the plastic wrapped on the mouth of the cup. (those bubble tea cup kind) I can't believe that the man actually can squeeze the cup (adding pressure to the cup) and best thing is, he inserted the straw on the blunt side, not the sharp side...and of cos, best thing ever done leads to best outcome, and the drink spilled kim and her ah ma!!! hahahaha!!! Kim added that the old man still continue to drink it! hahahha! ULTIMATE OLD MAN! (UOM UOM!)
BYE READERS
Sunday, October 17, 2010
don't know why-Love
Hey readers
I dunno why I just feel like blogging...
Probably I felt quite lonely as I felt that my sweet church-ties aren't really talking to me much and there's nothing much I can talk to them about. I don't feel anywhere comfortable telling them that I like this guy which they all know. And from my past experience, the people whom I dun wanna let them know all know about my crush. So I just wanna stop sharing these private stuff from them and hope they will not know about this blog even though I sometimes mentioned about them. Which was quite a sad thing isn't it..the feeling that I can't share my secret/feelings with them..which I suppose will be my lifelong buddies. We've been friends for ages alrdy..ever since the day when we fall, the first thing that we did is to cry for mummy.
I felt kind of empty...Perhaps because I did not have a vibrant life with my God...and perhaps I'm eager to have a better relationship with this guy. Cos u noe...when u didn't talk to a person u missed so much and didn't have any eye contact with the person, you just don't feel satisfied and not content enough. Although yesterday when he was leaning on his hands and facing my side directly, I didn't dare to look at his direction. All I was doing is looking at the person who's talking and stare on the floor. So I guess, its just my fault. Argh, don't like this feeling...I somehow really hope that he'll be in the same bus as me when I'm on my way to church like in the past. (thats how I found out that he used the same phone model and colour as me. Its some donkey years back. and when I changed phone, I found out that he's using another same model phone with me and same colour again! Woohoo!) Anw, now I don't see him anywhere in the same bus as me. ):
I'm crying in my heart now..
Hope all these feelings will past as I start to desire to have a more vibrant relationship with God my Father! :D
Bye readers
I dunno why I just feel like blogging...
Probably I felt quite lonely as I felt that my sweet church-ties aren't really talking to me much and there's nothing much I can talk to them about. I don't feel anywhere comfortable telling them that I like this guy which they all know. And from my past experience, the people whom I dun wanna let them know all know about my crush. So I just wanna stop sharing these private stuff from them and hope they will not know about this blog even though I sometimes mentioned about them. Which was quite a sad thing isn't it..the feeling that I can't share my secret/feelings with them..which I suppose will be my lifelong buddies. We've been friends for ages alrdy..ever since the day when we fall, the first thing that we did is to cry for mummy.
I felt kind of empty...Perhaps because I did not have a vibrant life with my God...and perhaps I'm eager to have a better relationship with this guy. Cos u noe...when u didn't talk to a person u missed so much and didn't have any eye contact with the person, you just don't feel satisfied and not content enough. Although yesterday when he was leaning on his hands and facing my side directly, I didn't dare to look at his direction. All I was doing is looking at the person who's talking and stare on the floor. So I guess, its just my fault. Argh, don't like this feeling...I somehow really hope that he'll be in the same bus as me when I'm on my way to church like in the past. (thats how I found out that he used the same phone model and colour as me. Its some donkey years back. and when I changed phone, I found out that he's using another same model phone with me and same colour again! Woohoo!) Anw, now I don't see him anywhere in the same bus as me. ):
I'm crying in my heart now..
Hope all these feelings will past as I start to desire to have a more vibrant relationship with God my Father! :D
Bye readers
Saturday, October 16, 2010
TWO words to describe me now: SHAG. STRUGGLING
Hey readers
For some reasons that I haven't been blogging its because I'm too tired to do so and I have lotsa things to get done. School's PP, transition ideas for replug concert, the mega lot of quizzes that were made compulsory to do after lessons, practice my difficult to the max piano pieces (stress ya noe. cos the tempo a bit too fast and I've a slow progress. my teacher is very demanding and I had to do slow practice with mentrome! arghs), upcoming YP and BMET's preparations, timo wanted more from my testimony so I've to edit it today, the SS homework. Arghs. so many things to be done in such a short time. But still I can managed to go for meetings that I want! Like for prayer meeting! Its amazing! I thought I couldn't go on tues anymore cos I'm having band practices after school and my school ends about 4+pm and I have to get rj and quiz done before I can go anywhere. So thats amazing that I can finish all these and including dinner and GO FOR PRAYER MEETING! woohoo! :D:D:D
I enjoyed prayer meeting as I can spent that one full hour concentrating and focusing on the Lord. I can stop thinking about my school work and stress that I'm feeling. But it doesn't stop me from thinking about that guy somehow. Its stupid. The thought of him comes on and off. Really stupid. I just feel like taking my brain out, pull out/empty that portion that I've been thinking about him. Somehow my password oso got his name, and after my presentation, I would see him smiling at me. how issit possible? Cos I went to facebook via my phone and went to his page, and go to my fav pic of him and just freeze my phone. So yeah, that's how he was smiling at me after my team's presentation.. Seems like I'm getting more crazy about this guy.
Readers, I dunnoe why I'm like this. When he actually stood beside me to ask ,my friend who was discussing about SS, I felt so out of place. I can't even shoot a quick glance at him. I'm just so nervy and I quickly got my drink topped up and look for Uncle tuck keong who asked me to see him for the BMET's visa application thinggy. Well, I just cannot make it ya noe. Not to say about him talking to me, asking why me and yinsan still in church. I guessed he asked us cos he thought we went off since we're not playing captain's ball or wad. So I think he's surprised to see us around. My heart just wanted to tell him cause I want to stay awhile more to see ya around more and perhaps have dinner with u and others. But guess wad, I told him I've stayed cos I was doing my SS homework. Which was only half true. Cos I did played bridge with some of the churchties and 55. haha :D But he didn't need to know that..isn't it? Oh, then he shoot me with the astonished, "OH! WAAH" look...which was quite funny. HAHA!
Okay, I did got very happy to be able to have this short convo with him. I mean seriouslyy...I don't talk to guys in church cos guys don't usually talk to me. And he talked to meeee!! what a rare chancceee! :D Woohoo, and maggie told me about him making sushi. OH GOODNESS, HE ADDED STUPID WATER ON THE SEAWEED. well, cos he took heed of maggie's sis advice, perhaps he tot she's experienced and more reliable? AND HE GOT "SCOLDED" by some of the church aunties. POOR HIM. Well, I think he need to attend home econs classes which he said that he didn't had it, like seriously..
Oh, i think I've gone too much...everything about him him and him. Cos he's in my mind right now, at least for 20 mins already. Just feel quite sad that he left during the workshop on TV and video games..I can't guess why he need to go. I felt abit weird..like he might be meeting some girl friends or something. Well, well, well, I shouldn't feel jealous or bitter right now. Stupid me again. Maybe cause I just love you. (YEA! I LOVEEEE YOU <3 )
Bye readers. (Pray that I would not be stupid and think about him esp when worshipping the LORD tmr morning! )
For some reasons that I haven't been blogging its because I'm too tired to do so and I have lotsa things to get done. School's PP, transition ideas for replug concert, the mega lot of quizzes that were made compulsory to do after lessons, practice my difficult to the max piano pieces (stress ya noe. cos the tempo a bit too fast and I've a slow progress. my teacher is very demanding and I had to do slow practice with mentrome! arghs), upcoming YP and BMET's preparations, timo wanted more from my testimony so I've to edit it today, the SS homework. Arghs. so many things to be done in such a short time. But still I can managed to go for meetings that I want! Like for prayer meeting! Its amazing! I thought I couldn't go on tues anymore cos I'm having band practices after school and my school ends about 4+pm and I have to get rj and quiz done before I can go anywhere. So thats amazing that I can finish all these and including dinner and GO FOR PRAYER MEETING! woohoo! :D:D:D
I enjoyed prayer meeting as I can spent that one full hour concentrating and focusing on the Lord. I can stop thinking about my school work and stress that I'm feeling. But it doesn't stop me from thinking about that guy somehow. Its stupid. The thought of him comes on and off. Really stupid. I just feel like taking my brain out, pull out/empty that portion that I've been thinking about him. Somehow my password oso got his name, and after my presentation, I would see him smiling at me. how issit possible? Cos I went to facebook via my phone and went to his page, and go to my fav pic of him and just freeze my phone. So yeah, that's how he was smiling at me after my team's presentation.. Seems like I'm getting more crazy about this guy.
Readers, I dunnoe why I'm like this. When he actually stood beside me to ask ,my friend who was discussing about SS, I felt so out of place. I can't even shoot a quick glance at him. I'm just so nervy and I quickly got my drink topped up and look for Uncle tuck keong who asked me to see him for the BMET's visa application thinggy. Well, I just cannot make it ya noe. Not to say about him talking to me, asking why me and yinsan still in church. I guessed he asked us cos he thought we went off since we're not playing captain's ball or wad. So I think he's surprised to see us around. My heart just wanted to tell him cause I want to stay awhile more to see ya around more and perhaps have dinner with u and others. But guess wad, I told him I've stayed cos I was doing my SS homework. Which was only half true. Cos I did played bridge with some of the churchties and 55. haha :D But he didn't need to know that..isn't it? Oh, then he shoot me with the astonished, "OH! WAAH" look...which was quite funny. HAHA!
Okay, I did got very happy to be able to have this short convo with him. I mean seriouslyy...I don't talk to guys in church cos guys don't usually talk to me. And he talked to meeee!! what a rare chancceee! :D Woohoo, and maggie told me about him making sushi. OH GOODNESS, HE ADDED STUPID WATER ON THE SEAWEED. well, cos he took heed of maggie's sis advice, perhaps he tot she's experienced and more reliable? AND HE GOT "SCOLDED" by some of the church aunties. POOR HIM. Well, I think he need to attend home econs classes which he said that he didn't had it, like seriously..
Oh, i think I've gone too much...everything about him him and him. Cos he's in my mind right now, at least for 20 mins already. Just feel quite sad that he left during the workshop on TV and video games..I can't guess why he need to go. I felt abit weird..like he might be meeting some girl friends or something. Well, well, well, I shouldn't feel jealous or bitter right now. Stupid me again. Maybe cause I just love you. (YEA! I LOVEEEE YOU <3 )
Bye readers. (Pray that I would not be stupid and think about him esp when worshipping the LORD tmr morning! )
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
My sweet 18th birthday
Hey readers! [:
Guess what? I had surprises after surprises!!!! It was so amazing especially to have friends around to celebrate birthday together! :D Yes, I had an amazing evening together with my close buddies. The thing is that I didn't know that others will come. Thought it'd be romantic to be with kimmy that day :) We did had a heavy heavy dinner..till I felt that my stomach is stretched from side to side..BURSTING if I eat anymore. And its quite hefty thou. Each one of us have to pay more den $20 bucks. We should have gone to eat at sukiya. Buffet somemore. And plus it's dam dam dam shiok! and its less den $20 per person! :DDD Sukiyaaaa...sukiyaaaa i miss you!!! The best thing about it was that I had PRETTY FLOWERS (WITH ROMANTIC COLOUR, BLUE ROSE!), MINI SHOPAHOLIC BOOK AS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT (I'm at page 65 now), HUGE BIRTHDAY CARD (which I had to guess who is who's note for me. and I had to sing love story by taylor swift as a forfeit becos I guessed wrongly. So, thats how noob I was. Not only that, I had RELIGHTING CANDLES. Thats worse mann.. I used that to play pranks on my friends and now they did it to me. I had blew it still I'm really breathless and the whole pizza hut was filled with SMOKE. Oh, and got one candle holder was soo cute! got birthday song in it! NICEEE! never seen that before! so special! Apart from all these, I had looadds of laughter! Kumar was the main joker. and I can't helped but to laugh at almost everything he did. He's such a joker. He can fight with christopher. Both are humorous.
The next day was a planned outing with my close churchties! We had koreaannn foodd!! And its so cheaap! :D The side dishes were superb and the soup was awesome awesome! Naomi just came back from australia and she baked cake for me! She said she learnt frosting while shes having lecture! Thinking about making a birthday cake for me while shes in australia having lecture.. Whoa, I'm super honored! I still havent finish the cake. Cos she baked an enormous cake which I bet anyone can finish it in such a short time although it really taste awesome :D Den we spent our day at bugis, and we played 55 AND BRIDGE!!! its super fun lahh! I didn't noe that its so easy to play! And our day ends at prayer meeting...which i hope that someone is there, but I didn't get to see him. So nvrmind. my heart uh my heart...why did I miss him so much mann. And I just dunnoe how I can just pretend to be okay for so long. I wish I didn't. Anw, I shall just stop here because tmr theres this workshop...den theres replug too. I just hope that tmr will pass so quickly.
NIGHTS READERS!
Guess what? I had surprises after surprises!!!! It was so amazing especially to have friends around to celebrate birthday together! :D Yes, I had an amazing evening together with my close buddies. The thing is that I didn't know that others will come. Thought it'd be romantic to be with kimmy that day :) We did had a heavy heavy dinner..till I felt that my stomach is stretched from side to side..BURSTING if I eat anymore. And its quite hefty thou. Each one of us have to pay more den $20 bucks. We should have gone to eat at sukiya. Buffet somemore. And plus it's dam dam dam shiok! and its less den $20 per person! :DDD Sukiyaaaa...sukiyaaaa i miss you!!! The best thing about it was that I had PRETTY FLOWERS (WITH ROMANTIC COLOUR, BLUE ROSE!), MINI SHOPAHOLIC BOOK AS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT (I'm at page 65 now), HUGE BIRTHDAY CARD (which I had to guess who is who's note for me. and I had to sing love story by taylor swift as a forfeit becos I guessed wrongly. So, thats how noob I was. Not only that, I had RELIGHTING CANDLES. Thats worse mann.. I used that to play pranks on my friends and now they did it to me. I had blew it still I'm really breathless and the whole pizza hut was filled with SMOKE. Oh, and got one candle holder was soo cute! got birthday song in it! NICEEE! never seen that before! so special! Apart from all these, I had looadds of laughter! Kumar was the main joker. and I can't helped but to laugh at almost everything he did. He's such a joker. He can fight with christopher. Both are humorous.
The next day was a planned outing with my close churchties! We had koreaannn foodd!! And its so cheaap! :D The side dishes were superb and the soup was awesome awesome! Naomi just came back from australia and she baked cake for me! She said she learnt frosting while shes having lecture! Thinking about making a birthday cake for me while shes in australia having lecture.. Whoa, I'm super honored! I still havent finish the cake. Cos she baked an enormous cake which I bet anyone can finish it in such a short time although it really taste awesome :D Den we spent our day at bugis, and we played 55 AND BRIDGE!!! its super fun lahh! I didn't noe that its so easy to play! And our day ends at prayer meeting...which i hope that someone is there, but I didn't get to see him. So nvrmind. my heart uh my heart...why did I miss him so much mann. And I just dunnoe how I can just pretend to be okay for so long. I wish I didn't. Anw, I shall just stop here because tmr theres this workshop...den theres replug too. I just hope that tmr will pass so quickly.
NIGHTS READERS!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Keep holding it? mind over body? heart over mind?
Hey readers! :D
I did enjoyed myself a lot today! one of the best sundays! hahhaa! :D
My dear friends: Airin, Theresa and Xue Li celebrated my 18th birthday and bought me nice necklaces :DDD SO SWEETT! I'm really touched!! :)
The thing about yesterday was that work was tiring probably due to pain..cramps u noe...period...
Sighs! And it just flowww and stained it...cos I couldn't get out of the booth! AND I was really really troubled! Thank God that Yin san managed to take over my booth awhile while I go "check it out".
Its a "muddy" experienced because the booth was set on the MUD, and ball was rolling all over the MUD, and my shoes was stained with MUD! Thinking about that job, I think its manageable still...at least not as stress as waitressing at hotel....and the pay is way better. :D
So yea! thats about yesterday!
About my heart....
I can say that honestly..its conditioned by thinking about that someone special already. So my thoughts, and mind is all occupied by it still. VERY HARD ok? I'm really trying. and today when praying, theres so many many times that I strayed my thoughts and started to think about the smile that he has and so onnnn...and I can't say Amen. So just keep praying that my mind will be conditioned by Christ and in Him alone I live for and will only think of! Probably my heart has been holding on these thoughts...keep holding it for quite sometimes. Its more like a habit. And I still foolishly hope that he'd wished me for my birthday but yea, he didn't. of 100+++ facebook wall posts, I scrolled down to look for it...And when I don't see it...I scrolled down another time...another time...up and down...and I told myself to just stop. Its all meaningless. I know. Its been quite a while already. And when I tried to move on, I always find myself back at the starting point. *sobbbb* Why? Teenage years really hard. Mature faster SHI TING! MATURE faster! Don't think about meaningless things!! THROW THOSE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AWAY!
*into the sea!* yay! its done. haha :D:D:D
Yeah, bye readers!
I did enjoyed myself a lot today! one of the best sundays! hahhaa! :D
My dear friends: Airin, Theresa and Xue Li celebrated my 18th birthday and bought me nice necklaces :DDD SO SWEETT! I'm really touched!! :)
The thing about yesterday was that work was tiring probably due to pain..cramps u noe...period...
Sighs! And it just flowww and stained it...cos I couldn't get out of the booth! AND I was really really troubled! Thank God that Yin san managed to take over my booth awhile while I go "check it out".
Its a "muddy" experienced because the booth was set on the MUD, and ball was rolling all over the MUD, and my shoes was stained with MUD! Thinking about that job, I think its manageable still...at least not as stress as waitressing at hotel....and the pay is way better. :D
So yea! thats about yesterday!
About my heart....
I can say that honestly..its conditioned by thinking about that someone special already. So my thoughts, and mind is all occupied by it still. VERY HARD ok? I'm really trying. and today when praying, theres so many many times that I strayed my thoughts and started to think about the smile that he has and so onnnn...and I can't say Amen. So just keep praying that my mind will be conditioned by Christ and in Him alone I live for and will only think of! Probably my heart has been holding on these thoughts...keep holding it for quite sometimes. Its more like a habit. And I still foolishly hope that he'd wished me for my birthday but yea, he didn't. of 100+++ facebook wall posts, I scrolled down to look for it...And when I don't see it...I scrolled down another time...another time...up and down...and I told myself to just stop. Its all meaningless. I know. Its been quite a while already. And when I tried to move on, I always find myself back at the starting point. *sobbbb* Why? Teenage years really hard. Mature faster SHI TING! MATURE faster! Don't think about meaningless things!! THROW THOSE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AWAY!
*into the sea!* yay! its done. haha :D:D:D
Yeah, bye readers!
Friday, September 24, 2010
A not-so-good holiday
Hey readers!
For those of you who don't know, I'm EIGHTEEN ALREADY!! :D:D
Don't know why I'm feeling quite down nowadays.
18th birthday was seriously bored to tears...
Can't watch my drama because my bro was hogging on to the lappy..
And he used the broom to threaten me and screamed at me..because I was using the lappy to reply my birthday msgs on facebook. *sighs*
My mood was totally spoilt. Its a bad choice to stay home afterall. ):
But spending my birthday with all my family members, suddenly made me realised something..
I never had a good look at them and never really felt special when I'm out with them becos probably I'm always with them. But this time round when I am going to celebrate both the mid-Autumn and my birthday together with them, I had this special feeling..I felt that everything's so wonderful. I had this person as my dad, that person as my mum and so on. I felt that its really very awesome of the way how God has planned everything and chose my parents and siblings as well as my grandparents for me! its just so unique to think about it right now!
Anw, when I was at the lower seletar reservoir to enjoy that special evening, I really hope that someone thats special in my heart or my bestiesssssss (i put lotsa ssssss because I really had lotsa good good and awesome awesome besties!)will suddenly appear out of nowhere and just nice we can enjoy the evening together! :D:D:D:D Like those in the typical drama shows..or just some life of my other friends who had received great surprises that I saw in the facebook. :D Somehow, I just gave the thought up.. and when I was there, I just wanna quietly enjoy it that way with my family :D Its great :D
So much so for 22.09.2010 this year :D
Well, just the thing about yesterday was quite horrid esp at night.
my room was so stuffy... I'm feeling so uncomfortable. My body's not well. (probably ate too much ice cream and cake) I dreamt of a huge HUGE mosquito that bite me because moisture and darkness will attract them. and my sis tried to make a glass cover (out of wood frame and plastic sheets) around my bed to prevent mosquito from coming in. Well, that was a bad idea. cos the so called "glass cover" didn't cover all the circumference of my bed. so the HUGE mosquito came in to bite me. So i had a bad sleep..somehow, I couldn't sleep well..and I'm stressed that I couldn't sleep cos the next morning hafta be in replug.
And that morning came today...
I tot i was late. But i was the first to arrive..and waited for all my band members to come.. and from 9.50am..., i did nothing except eating till 11am+. *sighs* thats the thing that I don't really like about some replug members. But well, still...I shall consider that its a test of patience and that I should bring work to do whenever there's meet up so that I can make full use of my time (: I was really sleepy and my eyes were tired till mad..and head was heavy and my heart was beating so fast (dunnoe why). The worse thing came is that the sole of my black shoes came off. and somemore got hole there. SHUACKS. its so embarrassing and I'm kinda of happie that no one noticed! haha! Finally the replug preview first internal was over. can rest well tonight! :DDD
*sighs* replug replug and replug..when can I do the things I want..
So many many things I want to do cannot do.. because there are so many many things I need to do.
WHY THE NEED TO DO IS Always NEVER ENDING?
No wonder so many people doesn't like the way life is..
):
Bye readers!
For those of you who don't know, I'm EIGHTEEN ALREADY!! :D:D
Don't know why I'm feeling quite down nowadays.
18th birthday was seriously bored to tears...
Can't watch my drama because my bro was hogging on to the lappy..
And he used the broom to threaten me and screamed at me..because I was using the lappy to reply my birthday msgs on facebook. *sighs*
My mood was totally spoilt. Its a bad choice to stay home afterall. ):
But spending my birthday with all my family members, suddenly made me realised something..
I never had a good look at them and never really felt special when I'm out with them becos probably I'm always with them. But this time round when I am going to celebrate both the mid-Autumn and my birthday together with them, I had this special feeling..I felt that everything's so wonderful. I had this person as my dad, that person as my mum and so on. I felt that its really very awesome of the way how God has planned everything and chose my parents and siblings as well as my grandparents for me! its just so unique to think about it right now!
Anw, when I was at the lower seletar reservoir to enjoy that special evening, I really hope that someone thats special in my heart or my bestiesssssss (i put lotsa ssssss because I really had lotsa good good and awesome awesome besties!)will suddenly appear out of nowhere and just nice we can enjoy the evening together! :D:D:D:D Like those in the typical drama shows..or just some life of my other friends who had received great surprises that I saw in the facebook. :D Somehow, I just gave the thought up.. and when I was there, I just wanna quietly enjoy it that way with my family :D Its great :D
So much so for 22.09.2010 this year :D
Well, just the thing about yesterday was quite horrid esp at night.
my room was so stuffy... I'm feeling so uncomfortable. My body's not well. (probably ate too much ice cream and cake) I dreamt of a huge HUGE mosquito that bite me because moisture and darkness will attract them. and my sis tried to make a glass cover (out of wood frame and plastic sheets) around my bed to prevent mosquito from coming in. Well, that was a bad idea. cos the so called "glass cover" didn't cover all the circumference of my bed. so the HUGE mosquito came in to bite me. So i had a bad sleep..somehow, I couldn't sleep well..and I'm stressed that I couldn't sleep cos the next morning hafta be in replug.
And that morning came today...
I tot i was late. But i was the first to arrive..and waited for all my band members to come.. and from 9.50am..., i did nothing except eating till 11am+. *sighs* thats the thing that I don't really like about some replug members. But well, still...I shall consider that its a test of patience and that I should bring work to do whenever there's meet up so that I can make full use of my time (: I was really sleepy and my eyes were tired till mad..and head was heavy and my heart was beating so fast (dunnoe why). The worse thing came is that the sole of my black shoes came off. and somemore got hole there. SHUACKS. its so embarrassing and I'm kinda of happie that no one noticed! haha! Finally the replug preview first internal was over. can rest well tonight! :DDD
*sighs* replug replug and replug..when can I do the things I want..
So many many things I want to do cannot do.. because there are so many many things I need to do.
WHY THE NEED TO DO IS Always NEVER ENDING?
No wonder so many people doesn't like the way life is..
):
Bye readers!
Monday, September 6, 2010
there's no discipline in me!
Dear readers
I remembered when I was thinking whether to go poly a not, my mother asked me...
"Do you have the discipline a not? Because in poly, the teachers don't chase after you to do work. So Girl arh...if you go poly, make sure you have the discipline in you."
and I told her,
"OF COURSE LAH!" Definitely no problem one. When its time to study, I study wan. Confirm no problem de.
I sounded so confident that time...
Now...I'm doing my revision for biochem so half-heartedly.
the a and p UT is difficult to the MAXXX! section A sure gone case. But B and C still got hope. SIGHS~ I didn't go revise other topics seriously...So in the end..section A came out bones arhh...joints arhh...anatomical terms arhhh...digestive system arhhh...till i wanna cry for MUMMY already.. :(
Get A for the past UT oso no use...
Now my a n p hope are kinda vanished.
My only A for this term that I can secure...might be gone....
Tmr biochem...hope it will be okay...
better study harder to make sure I get A or at least B+.
If not, I can't get overall A or B+ or that module alrdy..
Den my university dream school will be getting further and further away..till i lose sight of it.
bye readers!
I remembered when I was thinking whether to go poly a not, my mother asked me...
"Do you have the discipline a not? Because in poly, the teachers don't chase after you to do work. So Girl arh...if you go poly, make sure you have the discipline in you."
and I told her,
"OF COURSE LAH!" Definitely no problem one. When its time to study, I study wan. Confirm no problem de.
I sounded so confident that time...
Now...I'm doing my revision for biochem so half-heartedly.
the a and p UT is difficult to the MAXXX! section A sure gone case. But B and C still got hope. SIGHS~ I didn't go revise other topics seriously...So in the end..section A came out bones arhh...joints arhh...anatomical terms arhhh...digestive system arhhh...till i wanna cry for MUMMY already.. :(
Get A for the past UT oso no use...
Now my a n p hope are kinda vanished.
My only A for this term that I can secure...might be gone....
Tmr biochem...hope it will be okay...
better study harder to make sure I get A or at least B+.
If not, I can't get overall A or B+ or that module alrdy..
Den my university dream school will be getting further and further away..till i lose sight of it.
bye readers!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
A desire for a change
Dear readers
Its time for a BIGGER change! It's time to stop being the so called "normal" Shi Ting.
The girl who always laugh for no reason, a girl who wants to find pleasure in the sight of both men and God, even to the sins of the world...she'd gladly give in.
For all this time....all this while...
I'm struggling with my personal lusts and desires...
I couldn't let go of my feelings....to the point that I felt that I think I had put him first than God..
Its so obvious and I couldn't deny.
Everytime when I enter facebook...he'll be in my page.
Everytime I walked into the house of the Lord, I'll pretend to be okay...But I keep asking myself...Where is he? Did he come to church today? If not, I keep thinking why..
Everytime when I sat somewhere near him...
I got distracted...lost focus on the Lord.
Whenever I didn't get the attention I wanted,
I played sad songs on piano...unknowingly...
I've actually idiolised a man whom I think that he loves God without knowing whether is true a not..
( Because only God knows the hearts of all man and I will not know the true motives of the hearts of men. So I've got no right to say or to judge that he's someone who loves God.)
I'm not made to love a godly man more than God.
In fact, this is a TRAP! IT'S A BAD THING!
All this are nothing. Not of ANY ETERNAL VALUE!
ITS WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE FOR IT REMAINS IN MY HEART FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME!
The Lord will not be pleased and this might even provoke Him to anger.
The Lord knows my heart and identified this problem.
For this very reason, I desire to let him go a while ago.
But time passed, I was bored or restless...
Having many friends who have a beautiful romance...
I desire to have someone whom I like to be around with me..
I desire of someone that could bring the best out of me, like no one else can do. I wanted it so badly till I lost control of myself...always imagine if he is with me that kind of thing.
So here again, I want this to be a reminder for myself...
That there is no creature hidden from His sight,
but all things are NAKED and OPEN to the eyes of Him to whom WE MUST GIVE ACCOUNT. -Heb 4:13
There'll be judgment. Because sin brough chaos within the system, and it's going against the character of God. Thus, sin and evil must be atoned for.
So sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon me.
I definitely cannot bear the wrath of God and His judgments,
its too great for me to bear...too scary to think of it...I cannot give any reasonable account to Him.
So, I desire for a change...different from the world.
People changed looks to look more attractive, more pleasing to the eyes of men.
But as for me, I desire to change my heart, to be only pleasing unto eyes of the Lord.
Ask me why...
because He first loved me...and He never gives up loving me day by day.
Alright, back to some of the things that has occurred..
it's nothing happening actually. only that particular struggle that I'd mentioned bothers me a lot.
I wore a shoe that gave me blisters all over my foot. Its painful. But somehow, it doesn't feel that pain anymore. Its a shoe that my brother bought for me. So glad to know that he's sweet to me. Its really a great privileged. U know...its like the kind of feeling that some one whom doesn't seems to care suddenly became so thoughtful and nice..that kind of joy that I felt when my brother bought that pair of shoe for me :)
I felt so blessed to have so many friends contacting me recently...
Cared for me...
Their actions does let me feel so blessed :)
I can't hope for more but only to thank God for them.
I hope that I'll show more care and concern to them too. Be more selfless and more considerate.
Bye readers!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
my prayer through a song...
Father, I know that all my live
Is portioned our for me,
the changes that are sure to come
I do not fear to see;
I ask Thee for a quiet mind
Intent on pleasing Thee.
I ask Thee for a thoughtful love,
Through constant watching wise,
To meet the glad with joyful smiles,
To wipe the weeping eyes;
A heart at leisure from itself,
To soothe and sympathize.
I would not have the restless will
That hurries to and fro,
Seeking for some great thing to do
Or secret thing to know,
I would be treated as a child,
guided where I go.
I ask Thee for daily strength
To none that asks denied;
A mind to blend with outward life,
While keeping at Thy side;
Content to fill a little space,
If Thou be glorified.
Wherever in the world I am,
In whatsoever estate,
I have a fellowship with hearts
To keep and cultivate,
A work of lowly love to do
For Him on Whom I wait.
In service which Thy will appoints
There are no bonds for me;
My inmost heart is taught the Truth
That makes Thy children free;
A life of self-renouncing love
Is one of liberty.
Amen.
Its time for a BIGGER change! It's time to stop being the so called "normal" Shi Ting.
The girl who always laugh for no reason, a girl who wants to find pleasure in the sight of both men and God, even to the sins of the world...she'd gladly give in.
For all this time....all this while...
I'm struggling with my personal lusts and desires...
I couldn't let go of my feelings....to the point that I felt that I think I had put him first than God..
Its so obvious and I couldn't deny.
Everytime when I enter facebook...he'll be in my page.
Everytime I walked into the house of the Lord, I'll pretend to be okay...But I keep asking myself...Where is he? Did he come to church today? If not, I keep thinking why..
Everytime when I sat somewhere near him...
I got distracted...lost focus on the Lord.
Whenever I didn't get the attention I wanted,
I played sad songs on piano...unknowingly...
I've actually idiolised a man whom I think that he loves God without knowing whether is true a not..
( Because only God knows the hearts of all man and I will not know the true motives of the hearts of men. So I've got no right to say or to judge that he's someone who loves God.)
I'm not made to love a godly man more than God.
In fact, this is a TRAP! IT'S A BAD THING!
All this are nothing. Not of ANY ETERNAL VALUE!
ITS WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE FOR IT REMAINS IN MY HEART FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME!
The Lord will not be pleased and this might even provoke Him to anger.
The Lord knows my heart and identified this problem.
For this very reason, I desire to let him go a while ago.
But time passed, I was bored or restless...
Having many friends who have a beautiful romance...
I desire to have someone whom I like to be around with me..
I desire of someone that could bring the best out of me, like no one else can do. I wanted it so badly till I lost control of myself...always imagine if he is with me that kind of thing.
So here again, I want this to be a reminder for myself...
That there is no creature hidden from His sight,
but all things are NAKED and OPEN to the eyes of Him to whom WE MUST GIVE ACCOUNT. -Heb 4:13
There'll be judgment. Because sin brough chaos within the system, and it's going against the character of God. Thus, sin and evil must be atoned for.
So sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon me.
I definitely cannot bear the wrath of God and His judgments,
its too great for me to bear...too scary to think of it...I cannot give any reasonable account to Him.
So, I desire for a change...different from the world.
People changed looks to look more attractive, more pleasing to the eyes of men.
But as for me, I desire to change my heart, to be only pleasing unto eyes of the Lord.
Ask me why...
because He first loved me...and He never gives up loving me day by day.
Alright, back to some of the things that has occurred..
it's nothing happening actually. only that particular struggle that I'd mentioned bothers me a lot.
I wore a shoe that gave me blisters all over my foot. Its painful. But somehow, it doesn't feel that pain anymore. Its a shoe that my brother bought for me. So glad to know that he's sweet to me. Its really a great privileged. U know...its like the kind of feeling that some one whom doesn't seems to care suddenly became so thoughtful and nice..that kind of joy that I felt when my brother bought that pair of shoe for me :)
I felt so blessed to have so many friends contacting me recently...
Cared for me...
Their actions does let me feel so blessed :)
I can't hope for more but only to thank God for them.
I hope that I'll show more care and concern to them too. Be more selfless and more considerate.
Bye readers!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
my prayer through a song...
Father, I know that all my live
Is portioned our for me,
the changes that are sure to come
I do not fear to see;
I ask Thee for a quiet mind
Intent on pleasing Thee.
I ask Thee for a thoughtful love,
Through constant watching wise,
To meet the glad with joyful smiles,
To wipe the weeping eyes;
A heart at leisure from itself,
To soothe and sympathize.
I would not have the restless will
That hurries to and fro,
Seeking for some great thing to do
Or secret thing to know,
I would be treated as a child,
guided where I go.
I ask Thee for daily strength
To none that asks denied;
A mind to blend with outward life,
While keeping at Thy side;
Content to fill a little space,
If Thou be glorified.
Wherever in the world I am,
In whatsoever estate,
I have a fellowship with hearts
To keep and cultivate,
A work of lowly love to do
For Him on Whom I wait.
In service which Thy will appoints
There are no bonds for me;
My inmost heart is taught the Truth
That makes Thy children free;
A life of self-renouncing love
Is one of liberty.
Amen.
Friday, July 30, 2010
What should I do?
Hey readers! [:
I had been doing my quiet time consistently yea? Though its 1am now... But I shall put my date as 31 July and bracket its for 30 july!
Well, I'm on a TIGHT budget. Thinking of bdae gift for my buddy and at the same time, I wanna rebond my fringe...and buy new shoes for myself. I guess I can't. :(
Hafta settle my friend's bdae gift first..den either do rebonding or new clothes/shoes. :(
HAISSS (sighs)
Well, I have to sacrifice my new shoes and rebonding den.
Okay..after blogging I know what to do! LOL!
As for new clothes, shall order in bulk with my friends. theres this online blogspot thinggy that sells clothes (nice Tee shirt) at 5.90/3.90 only! :D
Oh yea, by the way...
To let go of one person is definitely not easy.
The more you wanna let go...somehow the person keeps on appearing near me!
WHAT SHOULD I DOO when he's near me..?!?!?!
(Actually I just ignored)
bye readers! [:
I had been doing my quiet time consistently yea? Though its 1am now... But I shall put my date as 31 July and bracket its for 30 july!
Well, I'm on a TIGHT budget. Thinking of bdae gift for my buddy and at the same time, I wanna rebond my fringe...and buy new shoes for myself. I guess I can't. :(
Hafta settle my friend's bdae gift first..den either do rebonding or new clothes/shoes. :(
HAISSS (sighs)
Well, I have to sacrifice my new shoes and rebonding den.
Okay..after blogging I know what to do! LOL!
As for new clothes, shall order in bulk with my friends. theres this online blogspot thinggy that sells clothes (nice Tee shirt) at 5.90/3.90 only! :D
Oh yea, by the way...
To let go of one person is definitely not easy.
The more you wanna let go...somehow the person keeps on appearing near me!
WHAT SHOULD I DOO when he's near me..?!?!?!
(Actually I just ignored)
bye readers! [:
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Letting go is NOT EASY!!
Hey readers!
BAD NEWS BAD NEWS!!!
I just couldn't imagine I could get jealous over tiny winy things...
I'd browsed through the photo album which had so many pics of my crush and my friend (shes not close to me.)
She's like getting cuter and cuter...
Getting sporty and cool.
While I'm rotting away...UT fever and nothing.
Yupp...and my crush was there during her mini birthday celebration.
Its mini becos theres only, my crush's so called "mum", my crush himself, my friend's mom and herself. They even had like a amazing race, where they'll stalk her and leave postcards to give her clue to the destination (the place where they will celebrate her birthday!) They went singapore flyer...taking awesome loadds of pics (many of him and her..Urgh) and I never had a chance to even set a foot into the flyer...not to even say taking pics with him.. :((
And now I just couldn't revise A n P because I'm in the midst to control myself to start any conversation with him...I just cant talk to him in MSN...I just dunnoe why.. I just find it so hard to stop having this kinda feeling. It's totally messy and it terrible.
I dunnno why I like him in the first place.
*kay cool down*
Sorry, but I'm seriously venting my emotions here.
I hope it will not get any worse.
and I will only remember....
JESUS ONLY AND LET GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (of my crush)
bye readers [:
BAD NEWS BAD NEWS!!!
I just couldn't imagine I could get jealous over tiny winy things...
I'd browsed through the photo album which had so many pics of my crush and my friend (shes not close to me.)
She's like getting cuter and cuter...
Getting sporty and cool.
While I'm rotting away...UT fever and nothing.
Yupp...and my crush was there during her mini birthday celebration.
Its mini becos theres only, my crush's so called "mum", my crush himself, my friend's mom and herself. They even had like a amazing race, where they'll stalk her and leave postcards to give her clue to the destination (the place where they will celebrate her birthday!) They went singapore flyer...taking awesome loadds of pics (many of him and her..Urgh) and I never had a chance to even set a foot into the flyer...not to even say taking pics with him.. :((
And now I just couldn't revise A n P because I'm in the midst to control myself to start any conversation with him...I just cant talk to him in MSN...I just dunnoe why.. I just find it so hard to stop having this kinda feeling. It's totally messy and it terrible.
I dunnno why I like him in the first place.
*kay cool down*
Sorry, but I'm seriously venting my emotions here.
I hope it will not get any worse.
and I will only remember....
JESUS ONLY AND LET GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (of my crush)
bye readers [:
Monday, July 12, 2010
I'll let go. It's a better choice
Dear readers
Perhaps somehow, have you ever thought that for every person that walked into your life, have its purpose? What is it exactly? Have you all ever thought about that? Its a rather important question for you to think about...because just letting life pass and not trying to see the true purpose, does made life meaningless and made you feel lost.
Anyway, back to the secret crush thing... It hasn't been really good..nor has it been worse..
I just felt that I need to stop holding to those unrealistic hopes. I've been imaginating the things that we can do. The cookies that I MUST learn and the way I should treat you :) However, I feel that being in one sided love isn't any way near "productive". I had to let go of those thoughts, perhaps feelings too.
Letting go is when you have to let go something so precious (which you have been holding on to).
But giving out is when you felt the thing is something that you can't achieve ; something that you can't make it achievable (makes u feel hopeless) , or you just don't give a try and had never hold on to it.
Its just different...between letting go and giving up...
Let me give you an example:
Its like a guy loves a girl. And likewise for the girl too. But due to some difficult circumstances, the girl had let go of the feelings that she had for the guy. But if the guy knows that she's leaving and did not try to keep her to stay, he's giving up..and that's a total loser. If he made his best effort to try to keep the girl to stay, hugging her and don't let her go, he is not giving up. But if the girl choose to leave him still (probably for a good reason), and he decided to let her go, then he's not a total loser..
Because or perhaps, when you let go of something, you actually gained something too. WHAT'S THAT SOMETHING?! Its fact. Yes, it's fact. You'll then know that whether both of you are for each other. Cause if the girl realised that she had been thinking and she just needed him when shes far far away, she'll get back to him sooner or later.. So, if things are meant to be yours, it will be yours one day. I always believe that :D
Well, of course, there's a reason why we all have hormones. Its something that its involuntary..
My heart might be beating very fast when I see him, but I can stop myself from thinking of ways to get his attention! :]]
Let my life be only Yours, my Lord, my God...
Only You can take the first place in my heart.
Right now it's so so hard to focus on You......
I had been thinking about him too much.....
I see him in my dreams.. I love the way I could get to close to him...
But its not right. Just let my live my life freely in Your will.
BYE READERS! :]]
Perhaps somehow, have you ever thought that for every person that walked into your life, have its purpose? What is it exactly? Have you all ever thought about that? Its a rather important question for you to think about...because just letting life pass and not trying to see the true purpose, does made life meaningless and made you feel lost.
Anyway, back to the secret crush thing... It hasn't been really good..nor has it been worse..
I just felt that I need to stop holding to those unrealistic hopes. I've been imaginating the things that we can do. The cookies that I MUST learn and the way I should treat you :) However, I feel that being in one sided love isn't any way near "productive". I had to let go of those thoughts, perhaps feelings too.
Letting go is when you have to let go something so precious (which you have been holding on to).
But giving out is when you felt the thing is something that you can't achieve ; something that you can't make it achievable (makes u feel hopeless) , or you just don't give a try and had never hold on to it.
Its just different...between letting go and giving up...
Let me give you an example:
Its like a guy loves a girl. And likewise for the girl too. But due to some difficult circumstances, the girl had let go of the feelings that she had for the guy. But if the guy knows that she's leaving and did not try to keep her to stay, he's giving up..and that's a total loser. If he made his best effort to try to keep the girl to stay, hugging her and don't let her go, he is not giving up. But if the girl choose to leave him still (probably for a good reason), and he decided to let her go, then he's not a total loser..
Because or perhaps, when you let go of something, you actually gained something too. WHAT'S THAT SOMETHING?! Its fact. Yes, it's fact. You'll then know that whether both of you are for each other. Cause if the girl realised that she had been thinking and she just needed him when shes far far away, she'll get back to him sooner or later.. So, if things are meant to be yours, it will be yours one day. I always believe that :D
Well, of course, there's a reason why we all have hormones. Its something that its involuntary..
My heart might be beating very fast when I see him, but I can stop myself from thinking of ways to get his attention! :]]
Let my life be only Yours, my Lord, my God...
Only You can take the first place in my heart.
Right now it's so so hard to focus on You......
I had been thinking about him too much.....
I see him in my dreams.. I love the way I could get to close to him...
But its not right. Just let my live my life freely in Your will.
BYE READERS! :]]
Friday, June 25, 2010
slowing down, look around
Hey readers! [:
Its me again!!!! Don't feel really energetic nowadays...
Feeling weary and perhaps lonely. There isn't anything that I can really enjoy...
I just keep on rejecting or rather refuse to go to work. I'm kinda sad cos I really got no money to spend on the things I like. Cos I'm like trying to save up just in case I feel like rebonding my hair again.
While I was walking to YCK mrt station... I just start to walk a little slower...I felt that ever since I get into poly.. I feel that I'm like getting younger. Not the looks lah (Oh actually can lah.. the looks, cos less pimples and less white hair. Den hair nicer oso.. so dun look like auntie anymore :X) Its actually the way I do things. I used to rush here and there....till im out of breath. But nowadays, I felt that I'm more slack..though sometimes a bit tense in class. But well, its not as stressful as Os. and definitely more freedom! YES! THATS THE WORD!! FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!
FREEDOM to do things! to play games! to have fun!!! :D More time to look around....at pretty stuffs/scenery...at handsome/cute guys. MORE TIME FOR DRAMA!!!!! and msn!
But it seems like I'm still not having more time for God. still wasting my time and not discipline enuff to sit down and meditate on His word. *sighs*
KAY, gotta catch my korean drama now.
BYE READERS! [:
Its me again!!!! Don't feel really energetic nowadays...
Feeling weary and perhaps lonely. There isn't anything that I can really enjoy...
I just keep on rejecting or rather refuse to go to work. I'm kinda sad cos I really got no money to spend on the things I like. Cos I'm like trying to save up just in case I feel like rebonding my hair again.
While I was walking to YCK mrt station... I just start to walk a little slower...I felt that ever since I get into poly.. I feel that I'm like getting younger. Not the looks lah (Oh actually can lah.. the looks, cos less pimples and less white hair. Den hair nicer oso.. so dun look like auntie anymore :X) Its actually the way I do things. I used to rush here and there....till im out of breath. But nowadays, I felt that I'm more slack..though sometimes a bit tense in class. But well, its not as stressful as Os. and definitely more freedom! YES! THATS THE WORD!! FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!
FREEDOM to do things! to play games! to have fun!!! :D More time to look around....at pretty stuffs/scenery...at handsome/cute guys. MORE TIME FOR DRAMA!!!!! and msn!
But it seems like I'm still not having more time for God. still wasting my time and not discipline enuff to sit down and meditate on His word. *sighs*
KAY, gotta catch my korean drama now.
BYE READERS! [:
Monday, June 21, 2010
Crazy about him, but why do I feel so down suddenly?
Hey readers! [:
Arhh...so in loveeeeeee...arhhh~~~
dreamy feelings... *mmmmmmm*
How can he be so perfect?????
Arhh...so in loveeeeeee...arhhh~~~
dreamy feelings... *mmmmmmm*
How can he be so perfect?????
I miss you loadds :( Although we were just a distance apart, and noticed that u look up the stairs, but still, I just didn't talk to u, or even greet u :(
*SIGHS*
BYE READERS [:
*SIGHS*
BYE READERS [:
Sunday, June 13, 2010
About Life, About Me .
What's me?
I'm like the "kai xin guo". This "Kai Xin Guo" are those nuts that people likes to eat during chinese new year.
Why am I like nuts? Am I nuts?!?
Actually, why I described myself as Kai Xin Guo is because...
Sometimes you only need to put in a little effort to open that slighlty cracked Kai Xin Guo in order to enjoy that little nut. Just like me...You just have to simply tap on my shoulder or wink at me etc., do something that require little effort, you'll make me laugh! I am serious! :D
And sometimes, an awful cheeky stare at me, which Iqmal always did will make me laugh too!
But guess what, I think that Kai Xin Guo would taste awfully sweet too! hahaha!
But when life's get hard, just like one of the Kai Xin Guo's shell...so hard...so hard to crack... so hard to get the nut of the shell..
I might need more care, more concern, more msgs, more dates, and more one-to-one talk etc. to get my "shell" more brittle in order of you to make me smile/laugh (:
I found that life is simple. Its sometimes complex because it involves in emotions, which is very subjective.
It is sometimes tough, because of challenges and difficulties. But I believe that after very storm, there'll be rainbow. And its where I'll be you at the rainbow's end...where'll never get separated.
Love you, those people who made me laugh
I'm like the "kai xin guo". This "Kai Xin Guo" are those nuts that people likes to eat during chinese new year.
Why am I like nuts? Am I nuts?!?
Actually, why I described myself as Kai Xin Guo is because...
Sometimes you only need to put in a little effort to open that slighlty cracked Kai Xin Guo in order to enjoy that little nut. Just like me...You just have to simply tap on my shoulder or wink at me etc., do something that require little effort, you'll make me laugh! I am serious! :D
And sometimes, an awful cheeky stare at me, which Iqmal always did will make me laugh too!
But guess what, I think that Kai Xin Guo would taste awfully sweet too! hahaha!
But when life's get hard, just like one of the Kai Xin Guo's shell...so hard...so hard to crack... so hard to get the nut of the shell..
I might need more care, more concern, more msgs, more dates, and more one-to-one talk etc. to get my "shell" more brittle in order of you to make me smile/laugh (:
I found that life is simple. Its sometimes complex because it involves in emotions, which is very subjective.
It is sometimes tough, because of challenges and difficulties. But I believe that after very storm, there'll be rainbow. And its where I'll be you at the rainbow's end...where'll never get separated.
Love you, those people who made me laugh
Monday, June 7, 2010
All refresh!
Hey readers! [:
Emo time is over! who says holidays can't be exciting without some one whom you like cares and concern for you?!
Tmr going back school to prepare for artsplatter. Will be doing day and night by kid cudi:)
Hmm, got some ideas for it already! HAHHAA! can't wait to try out tmr!!!!
I better go sleep now, cos at any moment of time, my mum will check on me to see whether im asleep already a not!!!
BTW, I DON'T LIKE my crushed BCMJ's new hair cut!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOO UGLLYYYYYYY!!!! ARGHS! why do he have to cut his pretty and nice, beautiful (sexy !!) hair?
I love his previous hair style...so natural...with the fringe in front... AWWWWSS
so in love with it! hahhaa!
nights readers [:
Emo time is over! who says holidays can't be exciting without some one whom you like cares and concern for you?!
Tmr going back school to prepare for artsplatter. Will be doing day and night by kid cudi:)
Hmm, got some ideas for it already! HAHHAA! can't wait to try out tmr!!!!
I better go sleep now, cos at any moment of time, my mum will check on me to see whether im asleep already a not!!!
BTW, I DON'T LIKE my crushed BCMJ's new hair cut!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOO UGLLYYYYYYY!!!! ARGHS! why do he have to cut his pretty and nice, beautiful (sexy !!) hair?
I love his previous hair style...so natural...with the fringe in front... AWWWWSS
so in love with it! hahhaa!
nights readers [:
Friday, June 4, 2010
all again
Hey readers! [:
REPLUG CAMP WAS AWESOME FUN! and funny :D
I was really worn out by the end of replug camp.
One of my juniors asked if I gt boyfriend a not, if dun haf he wanna be my boyfriend!
LOL! I was like hahaha, I really got no boyfriend and I don't have boyfriend before. den he didn't like ask anymore. Well, its so causal :D
Den Iqmal asked about who i wanna date with in replug honestly..
I lied yo...I've got no intention to date dilly (the one that I said) and wayne (the one everyone want me to go steady with)..I wanted to have a date out with fifi/cheng/danny they all.. :D
But well...a date is a date. Not like ok?
UPDATES:
1. I was the only who played soccer with repluggios
2. I scored 3 goals for soccer!
3. They asked if I was a guy in disguise..and ask me to shave my hair LOL
4. When cheng asked why mary like john. I said because john dick is harry.
(answer was inspired by the famous maths question...always got tom, dick and harry had 9 marbles...)
5. Warren piggyback me and suddenly freak me out by carrying me when taking pics.
6. I danced crazily during the last night of replug camp's party.
7. I gave ideas for two keyboardists and that drained out all my brain juices.
But when all these things past and no more replug camp..it was time to work.
I really went back to banquet today to work. On the way home, I felt so emo.
I sent a msg to myself..saying the on the 14 december 2009 (which is 2 days after the "shooting star" incident), I had so many exciting plans for the hols. But for this hols, I almst had nothing to get excited abt..only things to worry abt. Worry abt PP, A and P UT revision and preparation for reflection concert.
Lonely and weary, tired and despair....
I found my way out...working really hard...earn a bit of money to spend..
Just hoping that I'll be able to get ur attention some day if we ever saw each other by accident (or coincidence)...(A few guys had their attention on me...but I don't want it)
WHY am I doing this???..
I know for myself that you're not the one..and noe that perhaps is that guy I recently crushed on..
U...are still in my mind even till now.
I noe that even if u got my attention, even with things looks well...I know for myself that I won't accept u..But why am I still holding it even till now??
Whenever I get to school, I hope to see you. and when I happened to see you, I looked away instead. I freaked out!
Ur gf gave me that awful stare and I just ignored it..thinking that its okay. and shes childish by doing this.
I think that u were hiding away from me..cos every thing left now was only that masking tape on that button shoe...the webcam max that I stubbornly dun wanna delete it becos my sis suspect that it was the cause of the virus(pop ups) in my com, the pics in my phone, the msgs u sent me, and the msn..(you left the awesome W15H kids group)..
I felt so so afraid to see you...but yet I want to see you..
I felt so so very afraid to talk to you..but yet secretly I always open the msn dialogue..
I knew exactly what I need to give up (let go)
I knew..I just need a little more time..
Bye readers [:
REPLUG CAMP WAS AWESOME FUN! and funny :D
I was really worn out by the end of replug camp.
One of my juniors asked if I gt boyfriend a not, if dun haf he wanna be my boyfriend!
LOL! I was like hahaha, I really got no boyfriend and I don't have boyfriend before. den he didn't like ask anymore. Well, its so causal :D
Den Iqmal asked about who i wanna date with in replug honestly..
I lied yo...I've got no intention to date dilly (the one that I said) and wayne (the one everyone want me to go steady with)..I wanted to have a date out with fifi/cheng/danny they all.. :D
But well...a date is a date. Not like ok?
UPDATES:
1. I was the only who played soccer with repluggios
2. I scored 3 goals for soccer!
3. They asked if I was a guy in disguise..and ask me to shave my hair LOL
4. When cheng asked why mary like john. I said because john dick is harry.
(answer was inspired by the famous maths question...always got tom, dick and harry had 9 marbles...)
5. Warren piggyback me and suddenly freak me out by carrying me when taking pics.
6. I danced crazily during the last night of replug camp's party.
7. I gave ideas for two keyboardists and that drained out all my brain juices.
But when all these things past and no more replug camp..it was time to work.
I really went back to banquet today to work. On the way home, I felt so emo.
I sent a msg to myself..saying the on the 14 december 2009 (which is 2 days after the "shooting star" incident), I had so many exciting plans for the hols. But for this hols, I almst had nothing to get excited abt..only things to worry abt. Worry abt PP, A and P UT revision and preparation for reflection concert.
Lonely and weary, tired and despair....
I found my way out...working really hard...earn a bit of money to spend..
Just hoping that I'll be able to get ur attention some day if we ever saw each other by accident (or coincidence)...(A few guys had their attention on me...but I don't want it)
WHY am I doing this???..
I know for myself that you're not the one..and noe that perhaps is that guy I recently crushed on..
U...are still in my mind even till now.
I noe that even if u got my attention, even with things looks well...I know for myself that I won't accept u..But why am I still holding it even till now??
Whenever I get to school, I hope to see you. and when I happened to see you, I looked away instead. I freaked out!
Ur gf gave me that awful stare and I just ignored it..thinking that its okay. and shes childish by doing this.
I think that u were hiding away from me..cos every thing left now was only that masking tape on that button shoe...the webcam max that I stubbornly dun wanna delete it becos my sis suspect that it was the cause of the virus(pop ups) in my com, the pics in my phone, the msgs u sent me, and the msn..(you left the awesome W15H kids group)..
I felt so so afraid to see you...but yet I want to see you..
I felt so so very afraid to talk to you..but yet secretly I always open the msn dialogue..
I knew exactly what I need to give up (let go)
I knew..I just need a little more time..
Bye readers [:
Thursday, May 27, 2010
hahaha!! I'M SO HAPPY TODAY!! hahahha!
Dear READERS! :D
I'M SOOOO HAPPY TODAY!
Its been a long time since I chill out with my goodie friends!!!
Had jap steamboat buffet!!
FELT SO PAMPERED! and even so, we shared a lot of jokes! random stuffs and laughing at stupid things in john little!
Saw this girl wearing a pink shorts, showing her ass off and we laughed our ass off!!!!
HHAHAHAHAHHAA!
OKAY! I know this is evil..but its really gross. The shorts was so short until u can see that peach shape of the butt! and its pink. So its really like a peach! LOL!
Well! den when im back home, I was browsing through the bunch of letters I received from my friends. Den very happy to see two letter.
One was this...
I was wondering who gave me this...
The other was from the guy that I like VERY VERY MUCH recently!
hahaha! He gave me the letter for Christmas himself personally! I still remembered that!
SOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT TOO! YAY! now finally got something to see before I sleep!
lolololol! BTW! my mum feels good about this guy that I like too! she even asked me to visit him to my house to encourage my bro to come back to church and she wanna noe him more TOO(to see how good he was!)
I LOVE TODAY! thank You Lord for all these blessings and provision!
LOVE YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH!
Bye readers! [:
I'M SOOOO HAPPY TODAY!
Its been a long time since I chill out with my goodie friends!!!
Had jap steamboat buffet!!
FELT SO PAMPERED! and even so, we shared a lot of jokes! random stuffs and laughing at stupid things in john little!Saw this girl wearing a pink shorts, showing her ass off and we laughed our ass off!!!!
HHAHAHAHAHHAA!
OKAY! I know this is evil..but its really gross. The shorts was so short until u can see that peach shape of the butt! and its pink. So its really like a peach! LOL!
The card that I made for here!
Spent 4 hours on it! not kidding
Spent 4 hours on it! not kidding
Well! den when im back home, I was browsing through the bunch of letters I received from my friends. Den very happy to see two letter.
One was this...
I was wondering who gave me this...The other was from the guy that I like VERY VERY MUCH recently!
hahaha! He gave me the letter for Christmas himself personally! I still remembered that!
SOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT TOO! YAY! now finally got something to see before I sleep!
lolololol! BTW! my mum feels good about this guy that I like too! she even asked me to visit him to my house to encourage my bro to come back to church and she wanna noe him more TOO(to see how good he was!)
I LOVE TODAY! thank You Lord for all these blessings and provision!
LOVE YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH!
Bye readers! [:
Sunday, May 23, 2010
the Guess WAD day /:
HEY READERS! [:
How I wish I could eat a square watermelon!
Hey readers! [:
Today was a very happy day.
Now I know why I couldn't do work properly.
Cos my mind is so occupied with someone.
Mann, he caught me looking at him twice! AWKWARD!
I just feel that he's really getting more attractive each sunday.
Today...I burst out! I told my mum in front of my dad that my bro's friends (which is him...okay...lets name him. He's BCMJ [his full name initials] ..so that u guys know which him im talking abt) are getting more handsome! Trying to hint to my mum that im in a huge crush with someone. But she doesn't seem to get it.
Instead, she said, "Yar loh, his friends getting more handsome and I saw them in church. The older they grew up, the more handsome they are. Unlike your brother hor...the older he gets, the uglier it is."
Oh well! Anw guess wad..today's quite hectic! I force myself to listen to the morning ministry and I was freezing. Den I played for SS and got a few songs screwed up a bit. Not too much :D Overall its quite okay. I like to play great is thy faithfulness. Played it well and they all sang well!
Guess wad, I did the wrong assignment. Thank God, that aunty sweechoo didn't ask me to answer the questions. Den I went to piano lsn, half dead. It was so super tiring. Very trysting.
And wads worst was...my piano tchr test me on the things that I learnt AGES ago. and I had to play them. Thank God, it wasn't very screwed and my tchr can even say..GOOD!
going home and every step I took was getting heavier each time...GUESS WAD?
My left foot didn't lift up properly and I tripped over and almost fell! Thank God. I didn't had a fall. But my toe did feel a little painful.
Guess wad? The weather...was painfully hot. HOT HOT HOT! went home like a dead girl.
and slept with my mum. Den feel a bit not like it. Den went back to my bedroom to sleep. Feel uncomfortable in that position becos I never bathe and dun wanna dirty the clean part of the bed...i got up and went to my bro's room to sleep. Finally, I slept SOUNDLY!
den when I got up... GUESS WAD? im LATE FOR USHERING! chiong out of the house and the weather was painfully hot agn! Sweaty, I entered the train. Trying to cool down.
Guess wad...The bus took so long to come! So in the end, I was very late for church meeting. But its still a worthwhile trip..having to hear Tony Anthony spreading the Gospel in my church! I almost cried when I heard how he got converted..Wanna noe abt it? Ask me! hahaha!
Den its great to eat near BCMJ! den i just pretend to look at the crowd...and den our eyes met. I wanna smile nicely at him....or say a hi or something. But den...sigh. why m i thinking of woo-ing a guy. But how can he look so handsome?! DAMMM... STUPID STUPID! get off my head lah BCMJ! bye to u, BCMJ! sleep well and rmb to think of me when u sleep!
OK
I gtg off to sleep bye!
BYE READERS!
How I wish I could eat a square watermelon!
Hey readers! [:
Today was a very happy day.
Now I know why I couldn't do work properly.
Cos my mind is so occupied with someone.
Mann, he caught me looking at him twice! AWKWARD!
I just feel that he's really getting more attractive each sunday.
Today...I burst out! I told my mum in front of my dad that my bro's friends (which is him...okay...lets name him. He's BCMJ [his full name initials] ..so that u guys know which him im talking abt) are getting more handsome! Trying to hint to my mum that im in a huge crush with someone. But she doesn't seem to get it.
Instead, she said, "Yar loh, his friends getting more handsome and I saw them in church. The older they grew up, the more handsome they are. Unlike your brother hor...the older he gets, the uglier it is."
Oh well! Anw guess wad..today's quite hectic! I force myself to listen to the morning ministry and I was freezing. Den I played for SS and got a few songs screwed up a bit. Not too much :D Overall its quite okay. I like to play great is thy faithfulness. Played it well and they all sang well!
Guess wad, I did the wrong assignment. Thank God, that aunty sweechoo didn't ask me to answer the questions. Den I went to piano lsn, half dead. It was so super tiring. Very trysting.
And wads worst was...my piano tchr test me on the things that I learnt AGES ago. and I had to play them. Thank God, it wasn't very screwed and my tchr can even say..GOOD!
going home and every step I took was getting heavier each time...GUESS WAD?
My left foot didn't lift up properly and I tripped over and almost fell! Thank God. I didn't had a fall. But my toe did feel a little painful.
Guess wad? The weather...was painfully hot. HOT HOT HOT! went home like a dead girl.
and slept with my mum. Den feel a bit not like it. Den went back to my bedroom to sleep. Feel uncomfortable in that position becos I never bathe and dun wanna dirty the clean part of the bed...i got up and went to my bro's room to sleep. Finally, I slept SOUNDLY!
den when I got up... GUESS WAD? im LATE FOR USHERING! chiong out of the house and the weather was painfully hot agn! Sweaty, I entered the train. Trying to cool down.
Guess wad...The bus took so long to come! So in the end, I was very late for church meeting. But its still a worthwhile trip..having to hear Tony Anthony spreading the Gospel in my church! I almost cried when I heard how he got converted..Wanna noe abt it? Ask me! hahaha!
Den its great to eat near BCMJ! den i just pretend to look at the crowd...and den our eyes met. I wanna smile nicely at him....or say a hi or something. But den...sigh. why m i thinking of woo-ing a guy. But how can he look so handsome?! DAMMM... STUPID STUPID! get off my head lah BCMJ! bye to u, BCMJ! sleep well and rmb to think of me when u sleep!
OK
I gtg off to sleep bye!
BYE READERS!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
MOOooo00ooo... No mood?
Hey readers! [:
I've got no mood to study lah!
BIOCHEM makes my blood stirs and boils!
I just can't tahan biochem le lah.
DAM sian you noe. STUPID. Having to study it just for 1-5weeks already makes me wanna go crazy! ESPECIALLY the second problem. Got kerbs cycle and the oxidative phosphorylation.
Why do I start having no interest in anything I do?
I just feel like relaxing at one corner. Watch the very nice dramas, get to go shopping (buy new stuffs), have a good hair do. Sighs, I never want to be a taitai...Hais. I just haf this urge to shop! MANN...shopaholic, this addiction is getting on my nerves! CALM DOWN! alright! I need to do some exercise! But no time, how arh? Now already 11+pm.. tmr got church until 12pm. den still gota go piano lesson and revise for biochem. den at night got usher duty. dunno my friend can make it a not.
Bye readers
I've got no mood to study lah!
BIOCHEM makes my blood stirs and boils!
I just can't tahan biochem le lah.
DAM sian you noe. STUPID. Having to study it just for 1-5weeks already makes me wanna go crazy! ESPECIALLY the second problem. Got kerbs cycle and the oxidative phosphorylation.
Why do I start having no interest in anything I do?
I just feel like relaxing at one corner. Watch the very nice dramas, get to go shopping (buy new stuffs), have a good hair do. Sighs, I never want to be a taitai...Hais. I just haf this urge to shop! MANN...shopaholic, this addiction is getting on my nerves! CALM DOWN! alright! I need to do some exercise! But no time, how arh? Now already 11+pm.. tmr got church until 12pm. den still gota go piano lesson and revise for biochem. den at night got usher duty. dunno my friend can make it a not.
Bye readers
Thursday, May 20, 2010
PEK CHEK week!
hey readers! [:
This whole week was quite sad.
First, I screwed up my chem II UT. for a moment, I thought that descending was from smallest to largest! and hence I ranked my elements in the opposite order!
Next was that Cheng was saying that he was worried that some seniors in replug might not be able to meet the mark because some were really good, and some were not there yet. Obviously, he was referring to me. And I just having dinner with them eh! Well, I admit that its a fact. But my mood was torn already. Danny was sharing some funny happenings in his army. That kind of makes me feel better and that he proposed that this up coming concert will be at esplanade water front. Hmm, I'm kinda excited. But still worried that I'd screw up. Pray that everything will be okay
The weird thing that repluggios did.
Next, when I get home, I saw my biochem daily grade. its a stupid B! HAIS. ALL because of my class laughing at how I pronouced specificity so pek chek-ly and hence I laughed during presentation. If only I don't laugh. Cos she commented me that Shi Ting, PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH DURING PRESENTATION.
I find myself feeling so tired physically and hardly could get any rest. I had a nightmare yesterday that Cheng died. I somehow I remembered that he asked me for a date in my dream. So scary! But I was the one crying the most at his funeral. Mann, what kind of dream is that?! Dreaming that my bandmate died because he overworked and died when he slept.
Well, the previous night I dreamt that the guy I have a crushed on, messaged a LONG LONG msg to me. He was so long winded and he kept telling me not to do this, and must remember to do that because I was under his group or something liddat. Then somehow, I remembered quite vividly that I swam very fast and everyone including him was kinda of impressed by the speed I swim using backward stroke! =) What a funny dream!
Yesterday I heard two songs by susan boyle. She was singing I cried a river over you and I dreamt a dream. I think shes a very inspirational singer. Well, it just takes a song for me to have some ideas of what ballad and soul song is like. So I tired it on the piano. Its pretty cool eh!
Well, just hope that tmr's microbio UT wun be screwed!
BYE READERS! [:
This whole week was quite sad.
First, I screwed up my chem II UT. for a moment, I thought that descending was from smallest to largest! and hence I ranked my elements in the opposite order!
Next was that Cheng was saying that he was worried that some seniors in replug might not be able to meet the mark because some were really good, and some were not there yet. Obviously, he was referring to me. And I just having dinner with them eh! Well, I admit that its a fact. But my mood was torn already. Danny was sharing some funny happenings in his army. That kind of makes me feel better and that he proposed that this up coming concert will be at esplanade water front. Hmm, I'm kinda excited. But still worried that I'd screw up. Pray that everything will be okay
The weird thing that repluggios did.I find myself feeling so tired physically and hardly could get any rest. I had a nightmare yesterday that Cheng died. I somehow I remembered that he asked me for a date in my dream. So scary! But I was the one crying the most at his funeral. Mann, what kind of dream is that?! Dreaming that my bandmate died because he overworked and died when he slept.
Well, the previous night I dreamt that the guy I have a crushed on, messaged a LONG LONG msg to me. He was so long winded and he kept telling me not to do this, and must remember to do that because I was under his group or something liddat. Then somehow, I remembered quite vividly that I swam very fast and everyone including him was kinda of impressed by the speed I swim using backward stroke! =) What a funny dream!
Yesterday I heard two songs by susan boyle. She was singing I cried a river over you and I dreamt a dream. I think shes a very inspirational singer. Well, it just takes a song for me to have some ideas of what ballad and soul song is like. So I tired it on the piano. Its pretty cool eh!
Well, just hope that tmr's microbio UT wun be screwed!
BYE READERS! [:
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Weeks past...
Hi readers! [:
Are you tired and weary...have you almost lost your way?
Well, I feeling physically tired and super sian.
Even going to church also didn't get to talk much.
Life is going so boringly and yet pressure is slowly building up.
Many things I just couldn't understand when I just think about the things that happened in the past..
I think about it as I walk past the same old place abt the same time when I was with you.
Why issit that I can sight the most amazing things with you but not with other people?
Why did He allow this to happen when we were not meant to be?
I just can't comprehend life happenings.
But one thing I know is that He (THE Lord) is always there, hearing every prayer, Faithful and True.
He walks by my side..all the day through.
When I think about the tragic of other's people life...
I felt quite burdened. It was so disturbing. But yet from there, I can see how blessed I am..and that I should stop questioning about why this thing happened and I realised I was in a deep trouble because only after he left, I realised that I have feelings for him. Gave up and moved on.
Thought life was gna be still great. But why the emptiness? and why am I trying so hard to look for someone perfect?
Lonely for this whole period of time..But hey, I should stop pitying myself and be more self less yea? So now I changed my hope. Last time, I was hoping to be content and stop comparing with others. Now I learnt contentment. This coming week's hope is to be self less. No self fish thoughts yea?
Hmm..anw, wad's wrong with being single?
Lotsa my classmates were actually kinda shocked that I have never went into relationship offically kind. Well, I don't think the guys I've came across have ever gave me the YOU-ARE-THE-ONE feeling except for the one I was thinking about these few days (which I think was a mistake,) and also that guy I got crushed on recently (which I think might be or not a mistake. WHO KNOWS? (: ).
Ah well, when I'm alone and not really doing things.. I really think about him and laughing to myself when I rmbed the funny and silly things he did. Can't find another guy as really cute and funny as he is. but well, good things passed. And now, we've not met up for quite some time, and I don't think its good to meet up with him. Cos just by saying a "HEYY, hello!" to him, its alrdy quite awkward esp when his gf is with him. I can't myself to talk to him more than just a greeting. Its just too out of my comfort zone.
ANW! FOR THE FIRST TIME...
I'M IN THE SAME BAND AS TABITHA (2nd runner up for singapore idol season 3) and Khim (campus superstar runner up)!!! THE GENRE WILL BE BALLAD AND SOUL! WHOOhoo!! If God willing for me to make it through the preparations, I WILL be performing at this yr's reflections! cool yea? can't wait!
And for the first time..I took a cab to church myself..using my own money because I think I am going to be late. If late den give bad impression to people and GG, cos I'm the pianist for the sisters' meeting (most of the mothers of my friends were the members of the sisters' meeting! =X)
And for the first time...I watched the Harlem Gospel Choir and felt awkward holding wayne's hand. Thankfully he wore a jacket and so his palm was covered with his jacket. If not, he could feel my SWEATY PALMS! (SHHH, don't tell him!) oh yea, must pray for him. cos he's not well for 1 week plus alrdy! POOR THING.
Okay, shall do my preparations for my UT! bye readers!
BYE!
Are you tired and weary...have you almost lost your way?
Well, I feeling physically tired and super sian.
Even going to church also didn't get to talk much.
Life is going so boringly and yet pressure is slowly building up.
Many things I just couldn't understand when I just think about the things that happened in the past..
I think about it as I walk past the same old place abt the same time when I was with you.
Why issit that I can sight the most amazing things with you but not with other people?
Why did He allow this to happen when we were not meant to be?
I just can't comprehend life happenings.
But one thing I know is that He (THE Lord) is always there, hearing every prayer, Faithful and True.
He walks by my side..all the day through.
When I think about the tragic of other's people life...
I felt quite burdened. It was so disturbing. But yet from there, I can see how blessed I am..and that I should stop questioning about why this thing happened and I realised I was in a deep trouble because only after he left, I realised that I have feelings for him. Gave up and moved on.
Thought life was gna be still great. But why the emptiness? and why am I trying so hard to look for someone perfect?
Lonely for this whole period of time..But hey, I should stop pitying myself and be more self less yea? So now I changed my hope. Last time, I was hoping to be content and stop comparing with others. Now I learnt contentment. This coming week's hope is to be self less. No self fish thoughts yea?
Hmm..anw, wad's wrong with being single?
Lotsa my classmates were actually kinda shocked that I have never went into relationship offically kind. Well, I don't think the guys I've came across have ever gave me the YOU-ARE-THE-ONE feeling except for the one I was thinking about these few days (which I think was a mistake,) and also that guy I got crushed on recently (which I think might be or not a mistake. WHO KNOWS? (: ).
Ah well, when I'm alone and not really doing things.. I really think about him and laughing to myself when I rmbed the funny and silly things he did. Can't find another guy as really cute and funny as he is. but well, good things passed. And now, we've not met up for quite some time, and I don't think its good to meet up with him. Cos just by saying a "HEYY, hello!" to him, its alrdy quite awkward esp when his gf is with him. I can't myself to talk to him more than just a greeting. Its just too out of my comfort zone.
ANW! FOR THE FIRST TIME...
I'M IN THE SAME BAND AS TABITHA (2nd runner up for singapore idol season 3) and Khim (campus superstar runner up)!!! THE GENRE WILL BE BALLAD AND SOUL! WHOOhoo!! If God willing for me to make it through the preparations, I WILL be performing at this yr's reflections! cool yea? can't wait!
And for the first time..I took a cab to church myself..using my own money because I think I am going to be late. If late den give bad impression to people and GG, cos I'm the pianist for the sisters' meeting (most of the mothers of my friends were the members of the sisters' meeting! =X)
And for the first time...I watched the Harlem Gospel Choir and felt awkward holding wayne's hand. Thankfully he wore a jacket and so his palm was covered with his jacket. If not, he could feel my SWEATY PALMS! (SHHH, don't tell him!) oh yea, must pray for him. cos he's not well for 1 week plus alrdy! POOR THING.
Okay, shall do my preparations for my UT! bye readers!
BYE!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
OH! the PERFECT fit?
Hey READERS! [:
I just I just I just.....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I JUST!....just.....JUST.....
HAD A mini (actually is a HUGE)....
CRUSHED on someone I knew for so LONG!
NO WAY! no way! WHY?!?!?!?!?
I never like one sided..
Its going to drive me crazy...
How can he be SOOOOO PERFECT?
Everything about him was so perfect..
He's quite cute..
not only that..
He was a baptized believer in the same church as me. and I just realised that both of us were present at each other baptism service.
He's teaching/facilitating this group of sec 1 boys in Youth meeting.
He was in NPCC in ACJC i think. (I always like to have somebody like a policeman liddat (: )
The fact that he's in ACJC, and that he was in integrated program tells me that he's quite intellectual.
He can go and take bus the same way as me after church too (: HAHAHA!
He plays a bit of guitar..
He loves sports too (CAPTAIN'S BALL!)
Quite lame. -.-" but at the same time quite logical and funny :D
He let people take pics of him :D
and he has a darlie smile :D:D:D:D
He was in the same camp group as me..and that time, I was his assistant group leader(:
(He sang that song and borrowed markers from me. and I can still rmb those time)
I think about those times I get quite close to him.
Its quite sweet actually. and I realized that...actually unconsciously, I do have a little feeling for him ever since 2-4 years back. But I realised that just yesterday...(1may), when I saw him, I just kept looking at him secretly from the side. And when I don't see him, I felt paranoid. Kept looking around to see him, pretending that I'm finding somebody.
Mann, its horrible! its terrible!!
When he's near me, I start to feel a bit nervy..
and so when I'm talking to a friend, I started to laugh nervously...
(I didn't dare to look at him)
So when I'm in a distance from him, I just look around and saw him.
AND OH NO! he was facing the same direction and I look straight into his eyes. and quickly avoided. Why is this happening...
WHAT DID I DONE WRONG?
I never like one-sided love. Its kind of a bad thing.
SIGHS!!!!! And you know wad?!
I was hyper happy about today just becos I get to say Hi to him and he said Hi too and smiled to me?! (and he gave a quick look on the books that I'm holding).
AND I'm way too sick..
You know wad I did?
when I'm home...I kept replaying that scene when we said Hi to each other in front of the mirror and found out that I gave an awful smile. (and told myself that I should smile like this and not like that when the next time I say hi to him)
NONONONO...i'm just too sick. TOOO SICK.
I just..fell in love. I think so. a bit scared of feeling rejected and feeling jealous or disappointed.
I just wanna be myself when he's there.
I just don't want to fall too deep in love in him..
I just hope that he won't occupy too much space in my heart till God have to squeeze in order to stay in my heart.
Pray that I will not think too much abt him!! WALK FAITHFULLY WITH GOD!!
YES SHI TING!! JIA YOU!
BYE READERS! [:
I just I just I just.....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I JUST!....just.....JUST.....
HAD A mini (actually is a HUGE)....
CRUSHED on someone I knew for so LONG!
NO WAY! no way! WHY?!?!?!?!?
I never like one sided..
Its going to drive me crazy...
How can he be SOOOOO PERFECT?
Everything about him was so perfect..
He's quite cute..
not only that..
He was a baptized believer in the same church as me. and I just realised that both of us were present at each other baptism service.
He's teaching/facilitating this group of sec 1 boys in Youth meeting.
He was in NPCC in ACJC i think. (I always like to have somebody like a policeman liddat (: )
The fact that he's in ACJC, and that he was in integrated program tells me that he's quite intellectual.
He can go and take bus the same way as me after church too (: HAHAHA!
He plays a bit of guitar..
He loves sports too (CAPTAIN'S BALL!)
Quite lame. -.-" but at the same time quite logical and funny :D
He let people take pics of him :D
and he has a darlie smile :D:D:D:D
He was in the same camp group as me..and that time, I was his assistant group leader(:
(He sang that song and borrowed markers from me. and I can still rmb those time)
I think about those times I get quite close to him.
Its quite sweet actually. and I realized that...actually unconsciously, I do have a little feeling for him ever since 2-4 years back. But I realised that just yesterday...(1may), when I saw him, I just kept looking at him secretly from the side. And when I don't see him, I felt paranoid. Kept looking around to see him, pretending that I'm finding somebody.
Mann, its horrible! its terrible!!
When he's near me, I start to feel a bit nervy..
and so when I'm talking to a friend, I started to laugh nervously...
(I didn't dare to look at him)
So when I'm in a distance from him, I just look around and saw him.
AND OH NO! he was facing the same direction and I look straight into his eyes. and quickly avoided. Why is this happening...
WHAT DID I DONE WRONG?
I never like one-sided love. Its kind of a bad thing.
SIGHS!!!!! And you know wad?!
I was hyper happy about today just becos I get to say Hi to him and he said Hi too and smiled to me?! (and he gave a quick look on the books that I'm holding).
AND I'm way too sick..
You know wad I did?
when I'm home...I kept replaying that scene when we said Hi to each other in front of the mirror and found out that I gave an awful smile. (and told myself that I should smile like this and not like that when the next time I say hi to him)
NONONONO...i'm just too sick. TOOO SICK.
I just..fell in love. I think so. a bit scared of feeling rejected and feeling jealous or disappointed.
I just wanna be myself when he's there.
I just don't want to fall too deep in love in him..
I just hope that he won't occupy too much space in my heart till God have to squeeze in order to stay in my heart.
Pray that I will not think too much abt him!! WALK FAITHFULLY WITH GOD!!
YES SHI TING!! JIA YOU!
BYE READERS! [:
Friday, April 23, 2010
More Babes than Dudes???
Hello READERS! [:
I believe most of us have started school already yea?
Well, I think year 2 is really YEAR 2! Its quite tough and I don't really like to go through all these modules. CHEM! BIO! BIOCHEM! so wadever mann..
But my class was kinda funny and they laughed at things too :D which makes the lesson quite enjoyable. (:
I named my class as more babes than dudes. Well, cos we don't have a fixed classroom. And so I can't name them in MSN after the classrooms names. Otherwise it would be a chaos. So I just picked one special trademark of my class. That is...There are more babes than dudes :p
Oh, this class....The first day of school i tell u...Its horribly funny.
My team...except Jenny, we have an "illness", which is i think..a blabbering problem. Like kinda tongue tied/twist. I made my team laughed so hard because I dunno how to pronounce section. and they laughed even harder when I said I don't believe I cannot pronounced the word sesscent. This is how I pronounced section to sess-cent.
But seems like Jenny had problem pronouncing the word ligand today! I remembered Jeremy pronounced it as li-gun. (what a LOL) But forgt wad jenny said. Anw..THIS IS CALL...*retribution!* BLAH! :P
One of the malay girls, I forgt wads her name (hah! paiseh!)...
She wanted the whiteboard duster. But guess wad..she said, where's the feather duster? Immediately we LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Feather duster...think wad...Clean house uh? HAHAHA! I was no better den her mann.. I remembered in sec 4, I said to Mrs Matthews that I will go down to the General hospital. ITS GENERAL OFFICE! wad general hospital...
but its how cute people get blur sometimes. Really makes me laughed loadds (:
Oh well, I love my biochem group too! the ragu and jennifer made me laughed soooo much. They share jokes and stories. And Jennifer said ragu's nick was gugu bird? And they found out about my shitting nick name and laughed hell loadds. Ragu shared one disgusting experience about the orange juice shot out of his friend's nostrils, leaving the plups inside the nostrils too. DAMM sick~ (what a eww!!)
Life in school was quite great. Had SLA fiesta. I thought its gna be really boring and stuffs. But to my surprise, it was fun! took pics and heard loadds of crappy jokes. ALSO, i met lotsa old old friends like primary school friends! COOL MAN!
HA! this is tabby from the same Interest Group as me!
REPLUG ! !
Ao cheng on the left. He's a guitar pro and really musically talented mann!
Alex on the right. SUPER cool bassist. and he's oso very musically inclined!
My primary school friend! NAVEEN!
Happily ever after in RP? I hope so! Everyday is quite exciting actually. Friends to have lunch with. Friends to walk to or back to mrt station with. Jokes and Blur cute happenings to make me laugh. Kinda contented and don't wanna ask for more (:
Apparently that dream thing is still there.. I can't ask for more...but for you to get out of my dreams. I just want this to come to an end. Please...let go of me. Don't come into my dreams anymore.
Bye READERS! [:
I believe most of us have started school already yea?
Well, I think year 2 is really YEAR 2! Its quite tough and I don't really like to go through all these modules. CHEM! BIO! BIOCHEM! so wadever mann..
But my class was kinda funny and they laughed at things too :D which makes the lesson quite enjoyable. (:
I named my class as more babes than dudes. Well, cos we don't have a fixed classroom. And so I can't name them in MSN after the classrooms names. Otherwise it would be a chaos. So I just picked one special trademark of my class. That is...There are more babes than dudes :p
Oh, this class....The first day of school i tell u...Its horribly funny.
My team...except Jenny, we have an "illness", which is i think..a blabbering problem. Like kinda tongue tied/twist. I made my team laughed so hard because I dunno how to pronounce section. and they laughed even harder when I said I don't believe I cannot pronounced the word sesscent. This is how I pronounced section to sess-cent.
But seems like Jenny had problem pronouncing the word ligand today! I remembered Jeremy pronounced it as li-gun. (what a LOL) But forgt wad jenny said. Anw..THIS IS CALL...*retribution!* BLAH! :P
One of the malay girls, I forgt wads her name (hah! paiseh!)...
She wanted the whiteboard duster. But guess wad..she said, where's the feather duster? Immediately we LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Feather duster...think wad...Clean house uh? HAHAHA! I was no better den her mann.. I remembered in sec 4, I said to Mrs Matthews that I will go down to the General hospital. ITS GENERAL OFFICE! wad general hospital...
but its how cute people get blur sometimes. Really makes me laughed loadds (:
Oh well, I love my biochem group too! the ragu and jennifer made me laughed soooo much. They share jokes and stories. And Jennifer said ragu's nick was gugu bird? And they found out about my shitting nick name and laughed hell loadds. Ragu shared one disgusting experience about the orange juice shot out of his friend's nostrils, leaving the plups inside the nostrils too. DAMM sick~ (what a eww!!)
Life in school was quite great. Had SLA fiesta. I thought its gna be really boring and stuffs. But to my surprise, it was fun! took pics and heard loadds of crappy jokes. ALSO, i met lotsa old old friends like primary school friends! COOL MAN!
HA! this is tabby from the same Interest Group as me!
REPLUG ! !
Ao cheng on the left. He's a guitar pro and really musically talented mann!Alex on the right. SUPER cool bassist. and he's oso very musically inclined!
My primary school friend! NAVEEN!Happily ever after in RP? I hope so! Everyday is quite exciting actually. Friends to have lunch with. Friends to walk to or back to mrt station with. Jokes and Blur cute happenings to make me laugh. Kinda contented and don't wanna ask for more (:
Apparently that dream thing is still there.. I can't ask for more...but for you to get out of my dreams. I just want this to come to an end. Please...let go of me. Don't come into my dreams anymore.
Bye READERS! [:
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
bad sweet dreams
Hi readers!
Have you ever wondered that somehow actually the most amazing and awesome dream can be as bad as a nightmare?
Well...honestly, for me I do think that awesome sweet dreams can make me emotional down. Esp it is that kind of dream that u actually dreamt of someone whom you really like a lot likes you back. And that together, u and him did a lot and gone through a lot of tough events. It brought me back to the feeling that I was in love. The feeling is just so real that I myself could have that feeling of excitement when I dreamt of that dream. In the dream, everything just went so well..and I could feel that warmth and it comforted my soul in a way. However when the alaram starts to ring loudly and disturbed that whole dream...forcing me to wake up and leave that dream, I really hated it. Why couldn't my life be so full of surprises? Why do I have to face the reality and the truth that I can't have it...
And so, when I went off to work or to school for lessons, I felt really emotional. Really really hated it. Esp that particular dream... In that dream, I rmbed that he plucked the lemon flower from the ground and put it in my hand. I rmbed it was so lovely. But out of shock, some stupid woman appeared and commanded me to go back to work. So I had no choice but to put it in the pocket of my blouse. Dreams are dreams. Its so odd that the blouse I dreamt of was the blouse that I wanted to wear to work. When I woke up, I delibrately check if there was a lemon flower in it. But there was none. None at all. Nothing...
I've watched a lot of movies that something special occured to this particular girl, but in my life, there isn't at all. No fairytales, no magic. The lemon flower is not in the pocket...
So readers, sweet dreams can be worse than nightmares. Although it doesn't frightens you, but it makes u really want something that can never happen to happen in your life. Its so beautiful it makes you want to cry. It makes you really want something that you can never get.
I wish, that the pain of missing someone so much would soon be gone. I wish, the dream will never makes me get reminded of that feeling of being so in love with someone I can't be with and can never be with. I wish, that if dreams cannot come true, then it shouldn't be something that I would dream of at night.
Have you ever wondered that somehow actually the most amazing and awesome dream can be as bad as a nightmare?
Well...honestly, for me I do think that awesome sweet dreams can make me emotional down. Esp it is that kind of dream that u actually dreamt of someone whom you really like a lot likes you back. And that together, u and him did a lot and gone through a lot of tough events. It brought me back to the feeling that I was in love. The feeling is just so real that I myself could have that feeling of excitement when I dreamt of that dream. In the dream, everything just went so well..and I could feel that warmth and it comforted my soul in a way. However when the alaram starts to ring loudly and disturbed that whole dream...forcing me to wake up and leave that dream, I really hated it. Why couldn't my life be so full of surprises? Why do I have to face the reality and the truth that I can't have it...
And so, when I went off to work or to school for lessons, I felt really emotional. Really really hated it. Esp that particular dream... In that dream, I rmbed that he plucked the lemon flower from the ground and put it in my hand. I rmbed it was so lovely. But out of shock, some stupid woman appeared and commanded me to go back to work. So I had no choice but to put it in the pocket of my blouse. Dreams are dreams. Its so odd that the blouse I dreamt of was the blouse that I wanted to wear to work. When I woke up, I delibrately check if there was a lemon flower in it. But there was none. None at all. Nothing...
I've watched a lot of movies that something special occured to this particular girl, but in my life, there isn't at all. No fairytales, no magic. The lemon flower is not in the pocket...
So readers, sweet dreams can be worse than nightmares. Although it doesn't frightens you, but it makes u really want something that can never happen to happen in your life. Its so beautiful it makes you want to cry. It makes you really want something that you can never get.
I wish, that the pain of missing someone so much would soon be gone. I wish, the dream will never makes me get reminded of that feeling of being so in love with someone I can't be with and can never be with. I wish, that if dreams cannot come true, then it shouldn't be something that I would dream of at night.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Its been a long time
Hey readers!
Many many things happened during these few weeks.
One of the highlights were the days (2 days 1 night @Amara Sanctuary Resort Sentosa)
That place was really amazing! Located near or in the resorts world. and there's like private jacuzzi
and sky pool (which nobody used it! and can see the "world" from there! at night, I can see the glittering singapore. In the morning, I can see lots of ships and birds flying above me. Love that life.
Well, time passes so quickly and the next morning hafta check out from that fab place. After checking out that place, my sis brought me to the underwater world, dolphin Lagoon, sky ride and the loge ride :D I never had such a fantastic day for soooo long. Had B and J ice cream too :D
The next day hafta work. Work for 5 days, den finally ytd, I had stop working. And start to do intensive revision. Alone yet kinda happy cos I pampered myself with a caramel fantasy which cost me $5.60. Its just a drink btw.
And 6 chicken drumlets. i ate it in one go. How hungry I was haha (: didn't finish studying the whole chem book. but, at least..I felt a bit contented. (:
Going to cityhall later to collect my pay(: shall get ready now (: Oh yeah, and my dad birthday! I treat my sis mum and dad sakura. Going kinda broke. cos it cost $120.70!! But it was really delicious and they enjoyed the meal haha! Thank God (:
BYE READERS! [:
Many many things happened during these few weeks.
One of the highlights were the days (2 days 1 night @Amara Sanctuary Resort Sentosa)
That place was really amazing! Located near or in the resorts world. and there's like private jacuzzi
and sky pool (which nobody used it! and can see the "world" from there! at night, I can see the glittering singapore. In the morning, I can see lots of ships and birds flying above me. Love that life.
Well, time passes so quickly and the next morning hafta check out from that fab place. After checking out that place, my sis brought me to the underwater world, dolphin Lagoon, sky ride and the loge ride :D I never had such a fantastic day for soooo long. Had B and J ice cream too :D
The next day hafta work. Work for 5 days, den finally ytd, I had stop working. And start to do intensive revision. Alone yet kinda happy cos I pampered myself with a caramel fantasy which cost me $5.60. Its just a drink btw.
And 6 chicken drumlets. i ate it in one go. How hungry I was haha (: didn't finish studying the whole chem book. but, at least..I felt a bit contented. (:Going to cityhall later to collect my pay(: shall get ready now (: Oh yeah, and my dad birthday! I treat my sis mum and dad sakura. Going kinda broke. cos it cost $120.70!! But it was really delicious and they enjoyed the meal haha! Thank God (:
BYE READERS! [:
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The 100th post
"Hi Shi Ting, I'm crazy violent monster named cough...
I love your voice. It looks delicious."
Cough grabbed my voice and ate it.
*WHOA~~ IT TASTE FANTASTIC!*
Hi readers...
Yes, you read that lame story.. and I lost my voice. Sound like Madonna now.
SEXY VOICE! hahaha. Its like when I say one sentence, a few words are missing. and they sounded like whisper.
Becos of this illness, I can't go to work. and today...I didn't go for morning worship>ministry>sun sch>piano lesson>work. All have to be cancelled. *sighs*
Hope that I can get well soon and quickly go to work!! nid money!!
withLOTSofLOVE
Shi Ting
I love your voice. It looks delicious."
Cough grabbed my voice and ate it.
*WHOA~~ IT TASTE FANTASTIC!*
Hi readers...
Yes, you read that lame story.. and I lost my voice. Sound like Madonna now.
SEXY VOICE! hahaha. Its like when I say one sentence, a few words are missing. and they sounded like whisper.
Becos of this illness, I can't go to work. and today...I didn't go for morning worship>ministry>sun sch>piano lesson>work. All have to be cancelled. *sighs*
Hope that I can get well soon and quickly go to work!! nid money!!
withLOTSofLOVE
Shi Ting
Sunday, March 21, 2010
a complete, uncontrollable breakdown of tears
Hi readers.
Sis told me that I'm thinking too much.
Perhaps I am. I having too many concerns. Burden for my friends.
The thought that some people were born to die isn't great at all.
But what can I do? I am a complete failure, a person who hardly utters any word to any of her friends about God. I tried. But lost their attention easily and walked away feeling that I'm addicted to Christianity.
I pondered about the things in the world. What a wonderful creation that God created!! My eyes do not have to bear that glaring sunlight when I am sleeping because the Sun went to sleep too. The trees and flowers waving their hands to me while the wind blows. YES! It was that breeze that makes it breathtaking. Surely, the One who created all this, must be someone who loves you and I. Its so lovely. And when I thought of it as I'm walking back home today, I held my tears. And don't know why tears starts streaming down my faceimmediately when I got into the lift. Felt really paiseh to let my family members see me crying because they were all home. I mean...its really stupid right? So I stood at the stairs to calm down and took a long breath. BREATHE IN and OUT. Mixed emotions. Great joy with thanksgiving in my heart, yet sorrows for friends who are not saved.
Obviously, I had not done my best.
Well anw, I'm saturated with the Word today. Aunty Swee Choo fed me with a lot of words and I am too full and finally burst out...and agn, hunger.
I told myself...why am I crying for myself all the time...self pitying that my life was really sadly boring, unattractive...got bullied and hurt or did the wrong thing and got punished. How is it that I can cry for all this almost all the time and it was none of His glory; all in vain. And I seldom shed tears of gratefulness...to the One who had kept me save till now. They just do not know how much it takes to get this far...
Of great confidence, I know who I have believed. And am persuaded that Christ died, and He was buried and that He rose up on the third day. He, the One who overcame death. He, suffered so much. All because He love me. And I believed that even if this world, there is only me. One sinner...He will still come down to die for my sins. All because of love. God, you love me and I love You too...I am sorry and I am very ashamed of what I have did and You are all that I need. Without You, there's no me.
Bye readers.
Sis told me that I'm thinking too much.
Perhaps I am. I having too many concerns. Burden for my friends.
The thought that some people were born to die isn't great at all.
But what can I do? I am a complete failure, a person who hardly utters any word to any of her friends about God. I tried. But lost their attention easily and walked away feeling that I'm addicted to Christianity.
I pondered about the things in the world. What a wonderful creation that God created!! My eyes do not have to bear that glaring sunlight when I am sleeping because the Sun went to sleep too. The trees and flowers waving their hands to me while the wind blows. YES! It was that breeze that makes it breathtaking. Surely, the One who created all this, must be someone who loves you and I. Its so lovely. And when I thought of it as I'm walking back home today, I held my tears. And don't know why tears starts streaming down my faceimmediately when I got into the lift. Felt really paiseh to let my family members see me crying because they were all home. I mean...its really stupid right? So I stood at the stairs to calm down and took a long breath. BREATHE IN and OUT. Mixed emotions. Great joy with thanksgiving in my heart, yet sorrows for friends who are not saved.
Obviously, I had not done my best.
Well anw, I'm saturated with the Word today. Aunty Swee Choo fed me with a lot of words and I am too full and finally burst out...and agn, hunger.
I told myself...why am I crying for myself all the time...self pitying that my life was really sadly boring, unattractive...got bullied and hurt or did the wrong thing and got punished. How is it that I can cry for all this almost all the time and it was none of His glory; all in vain. And I seldom shed tears of gratefulness...to the One who had kept me save till now. They just do not know how much it takes to get this far...
Of great confidence, I know who I have believed. And am persuaded that Christ died, and He was buried and that He rose up on the third day. He, the One who overcame death. He, suffered so much. All because He love me. And I believed that even if this world, there is only me. One sinner...He will still come down to die for my sins. All because of love. God, you love me and I love You too...I am sorry and I am very ashamed of what I have did and You are all that I need. Without You, there's no me.
Bye readers.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
white horse
Just don't know why...
The white horse song kept on playing in my head...
Stupid girl stupid girl, I should have known...
I'm not your princess
This not a fairytale.
Hey readers
I quit. Well, I never love to organise things for w15h.
Its super not bonded. Except for the walk-to-woodlands-mrt-station peeps are spontaneous. The rest were very hard to please them. All VIP, head shot.
They never knew how hard it is to get people to come and get food and stuffs to make them feel comfortable. Well, I just wanna make people happy. I knew they are. But don't get why my mum and my sis kept on annoying me and telling me wad to do like i'm a small kid.
I feel like going somewhere really far. really far...
I don't wanna face my family members everyday to hear their textbook advices and comments.
I'm getting super sick of it.
I shall save up $ and wait till the right time, and I shall leave this place and forever not to come back. [I REALLY FEEL LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW~]
Right now I'm so stuck in this place. All I go is just work work work, visiting people's house, a few dinner with friends, church church church, school for jazz workshop, piano piano piano.
I want something new. new. new. badly.
Not a guy, a place. A new place. like new zeland.
I want to take a breeze...
Go sightseeing...
take awesome photographs...
wear a lovely dress...
Dreaming about it now...
The white horse song kept on playing in my head...
Stupid girl stupid girl, I should have known...
I'm not your princess
This not a fairytale.
Hey readers
I quit. Well, I never love to organise things for w15h.
Its super not bonded. Except for the walk-to-woodlands-mrt-station peeps are spontaneous. The rest were very hard to please them. All VIP, head shot.
They never knew how hard it is to get people to come and get food and stuffs to make them feel comfortable. Well, I just wanna make people happy. I knew they are. But don't get why my mum and my sis kept on annoying me and telling me wad to do like i'm a small kid.
I feel like going somewhere really far. really far...
I don't wanna face my family members everyday to hear their textbook advices and comments.
I'm getting super sick of it.
I shall save up $ and wait till the right time, and I shall leave this place and forever not to come back. [I REALLY FEEL LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW~]
Right now I'm so stuck in this place. All I go is just work work work, visiting people's house, a few dinner with friends, church church church, school for jazz workshop, piano piano piano.
I want something new. new. new. badly.
Not a guy, a place. A new place. like new zeland.
I want to take a breeze...
Go sightseeing...
take awesome photographs...
wear a lovely dress...
Dreaming about it now...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
couldn't get it clear
Hey readers!
Happenings:
Eileen's birthday- She was surprised to see me there!! and she likes the birthday gifts (:
WORKWORKWORK- the wedding buffet dinner was super slack. $30 very easy to earn :D BUT! I was so embarrased when that indian guy asked for vodka orange, I thought he was trying to say water orange. orange + water. so I gave him that. and he asked, whats this? I said we don't serve real oranges. so I mixed the orange soda with water. Then he said, No..I mean vodka (I heard water agn) orange! and his friend shook his head. and I finally understood that its hard liqour drink. But he has already asked another waiter to get. so I just stood there.
Well..got another day that I chiong for work. 7am-11pm. SUPER SHAGGED. plus the day after work hafta go church. Really forced myself to wakie wakie.
church! [sunday school anni]- sad by the number of girls that attended. well, I was sticking with yinsan the whole evening. I talked to a guy in depot walk that I think I didn't talked to him for years. and I took pics (:
Replug with jammers arena (jazz workshop): SUPER FUN! funny too!! Mr chia (my former music teacher in NBSS, now coaching in replug) was teaching theory. He wanna test us on the 13th note/6th/5th note of any keys he named. So I was very excited and enthu! Iq kept asking me to keep quiet. cos I keep answering first! LOL! [: den Warren started to imitate my facebook pic. He said that even though my granny looked grumpy I still gave the twist and happy (act cute) face.
SHOPPING with kimlaopo- I owed her $23!! Crazy shopping and it was fun (: go around hunting for the chanel ring after I thought I won't be buying becos its so ex! But well...I just love it when I first saw it. so i bought it. We went hunting for my fairy necklace..and I was disappointed that I couldn't find it in orchard wisma. den somehow we decided to go to 313@somerset cos kimmy never went in there b4. So I'VE GOT MY FAIRY NECKLACE! beautiful! On the way home after kimmy left, I went to AMK to collect that lovely white cardigan that has got ribbons on both side of it. awws..really felt so happy. Feeling excited, I went home to try out the new clothes and new outfit together with the new accessories. Pampered, yes it was [:
Everyday is a new day, a new beginning and a new hope. New feelings were established too (:
bye readers!
Happenings:
Eileen's birthday- She was surprised to see me there!! and she likes the birthday gifts (:
WORKWORKWORK- the wedding buffet dinner was super slack. $30 very easy to earn :D BUT! I was so embarrased when that indian guy asked for vodka orange, I thought he was trying to say water orange. orange + water. so I gave him that. and he asked, whats this? I said we don't serve real oranges. so I mixed the orange soda with water. Then he said, No..I mean vodka (I heard water agn) orange! and his friend shook his head. and I finally understood that its hard liqour drink. But he has already asked another waiter to get. so I just stood there.
Well..got another day that I chiong for work. 7am-11pm. SUPER SHAGGED. plus the day after work hafta go church. Really forced myself to wakie wakie.
church! [sunday school anni]- sad by the number of girls that attended. well, I was sticking with yinsan the whole evening. I talked to a guy in depot walk that I think I didn't talked to him for years. and I took pics (:
Replug with jammers arena (jazz workshop): SUPER FUN! funny too!! Mr chia (my former music teacher in NBSS, now coaching in replug) was teaching theory. He wanna test us on the 13th note/6th/5th note of any keys he named. So I was very excited and enthu! Iq kept asking me to keep quiet. cos I keep answering first! LOL! [: den Warren started to imitate my facebook pic. He said that even though my granny looked grumpy I still gave the twist and happy (act cute) face.
SHOPPING with kimlaopo- I owed her $23!! Crazy shopping and it was fun (: go around hunting for the chanel ring after I thought I won't be buying becos its so ex! But well...I just love it when I first saw it. so i bought it. We went hunting for my fairy necklace..and I was disappointed that I couldn't find it in orchard wisma. den somehow we decided to go to 313@somerset cos kimmy never went in there b4. So I'VE GOT MY FAIRY NECKLACE! beautiful! On the way home after kimmy left, I went to AMK to collect that lovely white cardigan that has got ribbons on both side of it. awws..really felt so happy. Feeling excited, I went home to try out the new clothes and new outfit together with the new accessories. Pampered, yes it was [:
Everyday is a new day, a new beginning and a new hope. New feelings were established too (:
bye readers!
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