Gosh, it's so troubling.
He's leaving in 28 days. And it's not like I can see him everyday. :(
I'd really miss him so much. I mean seriously. My mind is so troubled. So So troubled. I keep telling myself see now, I can feel relax, so try to feel relax. But now, I can't do it..
I'm in AGONY now. It's such a pain.. I can't express it out to him. There's nothing else that I can do I think. It's all too late.
I tried to comfort myself about the memories and times spent together. But, my soul just craves for more. I wanted him to stay near me and hear him talking.
I have no mood to study for exams now. I'm freaking out.
Gosh, I'm so troubled. I am really troubled..
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Just quotes to ponder
See the beauty in the ordinary
Our life is what our thoughts make it- Catherine of Siena
Failure is not the same as defeat.
Things in the past, are dead and gone.
Leave them behind, then just move on.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, Today is God's gift to me, to make it all that it can be.
The unsinkable optimism (p58)- Your living is determinded not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens- John Homer Miller.
p65: Enjoy life to the fullest, and be constantly aware that all comes from His hand.
I ask God for all things I could enjoy life. He gave me life so I could enjoy all things.
What is freedom?
Freedom means I have been set free to become all that God wants me to be, to achieve all that Gods wants me to achieve, to enjoy all that God wants me to enjoy
-Warren Wiersbe
What to read when I feel insignificant
You aren't an accident. You weren't mass-produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth by the Master Craftsman- Max Lucado
Ephesians 2:10 - For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
Let not one say we are worthless. God is not a foolish speculator; He would never invest worthless property- Erwin v. Lutzer
Things to Pray for myself
Ask God to bring all that is excellent in you.
Let Him shape you with faithfulness, honor and integrity. Be aware of how He adds these finishing touches in a way that will give glory to Him and satisfaction and meaning for you.
Be ready to radiate from the inside out. Outward change will be perceptible but subtle - a sparkle in the eye, a tilt of the head, a lilt to the walk - but you'll know the inward change makes the difference.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things that are unseen; Happiness
Of all classes and descriptions of persons on this earth, they are the happiest of whom it may be siad that the things most hoped for by them are the things not seen - Mennonite Writings.
There is nothing you can do to make God love you more or less. His love is unconditional, impartial, everlasting, infinite, perfect. God is love
Time to let it go (Managing Anger)
Endeavor to be always patient of the faults and imperfections of others; for you have many faults and imperfections of your own that require forbearance. If you are not able to make yourself that which you wishest, how can you expect to mold another in conformity to your will?
Our life is what our thoughts make it- Catherine of Siena
Failure is not the same as defeat.
Things in the past, are dead and gone.
Leave them behind, then just move on.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, Today is God's gift to me, to make it all that it can be.
The unsinkable optimism (p58)- Your living is determinded not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens- John Homer Miller.
p65: Enjoy life to the fullest, and be constantly aware that all comes from His hand.
I ask God for all things I could enjoy life. He gave me life so I could enjoy all things.
What is freedom?
Freedom means I have been set free to become all that God wants me to be, to achieve all that Gods wants me to achieve, to enjoy all that God wants me to enjoy
-Warren Wiersbe
What to read when I feel insignificant
You aren't an accident. You weren't mass-produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth by the Master Craftsman- Max Lucado
Ephesians 2:10 - For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
Let not one say we are worthless. God is not a foolish speculator; He would never invest worthless property- Erwin v. Lutzer
Things to Pray for myself
Ask God to bring all that is excellent in you.
Let Him shape you with faithfulness, honor and integrity. Be aware of how He adds these finishing touches in a way that will give glory to Him and satisfaction and meaning for you.
Be ready to radiate from the inside out. Outward change will be perceptible but subtle - a sparkle in the eye, a tilt of the head, a lilt to the walk - but you'll know the inward change makes the difference.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things that are unseen; Happiness
Of all classes and descriptions of persons on this earth, they are the happiest of whom it may be siad that the things most hoped for by them are the things not seen - Mennonite Writings.
There is nothing you can do to make God love you more or less. His love is unconditional, impartial, everlasting, infinite, perfect. God is love
Time to let it go (Managing Anger)
Endeavor to be always patient of the faults and imperfections of others; for you have many faults and imperfections of your own that require forbearance. If you are not able to make yourself that which you wishest, how can you expect to mold another in conformity to your will?
I don't bother
Hey readers!
One of the gross things that happened was that my parents actually asked me to smell their fart.
Mum: TING AHHH! come into the room NOW!!
I tot I did something bad or that my mum is asking me to do massage for her again.
Mum: What do you smell? Is the room smelly?
Me: Of cos not. It smells.....mmmm...like food? U all have eaten something nice here issit? What did you all ate just now?
Dad was laughing from the moment I walked into the room and smelling the room. He burst out and said this, "REALLY NOT SMELLY MEHH??"
Me: Really not smelly lah. Why u all keep on asking me. *annoyed + glares*
Mum revealed to me that both dad and her farted and dad claimed that mum's fart was smelly but mum claimed that she didn't. And when I heard what they said...
I TOTALLY ROLLED MY EYES AND WALK OUT OF THE ROOM, COUGHING LIKE I'VE CHOKED ON A FISHBONE.
look at that like seriously.
Anyway, So many things are going through my head..after what he has shared his life.
I was sooo glad that he didn't ask me to use one word to describe him in front of everybody. When he asked everyone in the room to think of one word to describe him, immediately the word charming pops out of nowhere. GOSH! IMAGINE I SAID THAT TO EVERYO
NE IT'S GONNA BE A BIG BIG WHOAAAA!
Anyway, today's workshop was funny to the max. Titus as usual, wrote something really =.= during the guessing who game. Seriously mag has the I-don't-bother face. But she's not what her face looks like. She's really someone who's concerned with her friends. :) Whoa whoa, why am I talking about her?
Oh well, I'm thinking about what he has said just now and I can't remember. It's something that I want to do and think about. :( Gosh, thats sadness. How can not recall about that?! :( I think I can only remember what he has emphasises (like about....) OH NOW I'VE REMEMBERD!
He says that in life, things aren't smooth going even after becoming a Christian. You just have to keep talking to God. Yes yes yes, I want to keep talking to God. :) Shouldn't be upset about how things doesn't go according to what I wanted it to happen, but instead, tell these troubles to God.
God is not a god whose out there, who doesn't even care. But if He sees a need for me to have company, then by His grace and because He loves me, is will provide. :)
Yeah, bye readers :)
One of the gross things that happened was that my parents actually asked me to smell their fart.
Mum: TING AHHH! come into the room NOW!!
I tot I did something bad or that my mum is asking me to do massage for her again.
Mum: What do you smell? Is the room smelly?
Me: Of cos not. It smells.....mmmm...like food? U all have eaten something nice here issit? What did you all ate just now?
Dad was laughing from the moment I walked into the room and smelling the room. He burst out and said this, "REALLY NOT SMELLY MEHH??"
Me: Really not smelly lah. Why u all keep on asking me. *annoyed + glares*
Mum revealed to me that both dad and her farted and dad claimed that mum's fart was smelly but mum claimed that she didn't. And when I heard what they said...
I TOTALLY ROLLED MY EYES AND WALK OUT OF THE ROOM, COUGHING LIKE I'VE CHOKED ON A FISHBONE.
look at that like seriously.
Anyway, So many things are going through my head..after what he has shared his life.
I was sooo glad that he didn't ask me to use one word to describe him in front of everybody. When he asked everyone in the room to think of one word to describe him, immediately the word charming pops out of nowhere. GOSH! IMAGINE I SAID THAT TO EVERYO
NE IT'S GONNA BE A BIG BIG WHOAAAA!
Anyway, today's workshop was funny to the max. Titus as usual, wrote something really =.= during the guessing who game. Seriously mag has the I-don't-bother face. But she's not what her face looks like. She's really someone who's concerned with her friends. :) Whoa whoa, why am I talking about her?
Oh well, I'm thinking about what he has said just now and I can't remember. It's something that I want to do and think about. :( Gosh, thats sadness. How can not recall about that?! :( I think I can only remember what he has emphasises (like about....) OH NOW I'VE REMEMBERD!
He says that in life, things aren't smooth going even after becoming a Christian. You just have to keep talking to God. Yes yes yes, I want to keep talking to God. :) Shouldn't be upset about how things doesn't go according to what I wanted it to happen, but instead, tell these troubles to God.
God is not a god whose out there, who doesn't even care. But if He sees a need for me to have company, then by His grace and because He loves me, is will provide. :)
Yeah, bye readers :)
Friday, August 12, 2011
I haven't written such a crazy thing for a long time
Hey readers
Today's rj question is: if you are invisible for one day, what would you do?
I like what I've written down and I'm going to share with you all :) hahahhaa
hahaha! I think when my faccy reads this, she might be thinking that is another girl who write this. :p
That's all folks!!Thursday, August 11, 2011
In short
Giving up doesn't always mean that u're weak. Sometimes, it just mean that you're strong enough to let go. - Taylor Swift
Basically, this pic on the right is quite interesting.Because so many people let go of their love, that's why love is in the air! hahahaha :)
Monday, August 8, 2011
Distorted. Full of lies
Hey readers
Apparently I felt so cheated by my own sis. I can't believe that all the while she's not a child of God. I tried to convince myself that she's not. But I really can't believe. She said she's not a genuine believer and in fact she doubted a lot of things that the scriptures says.
After all the heart-to-heart talk...here's the questions that she asked along (very thought-provoking):
1. Since none could explain how God can exist by Himself, why then believe that He existed?
2. and Since God can be existed by Himself, Man can likewise be self-existing. Why then think so much about who created the world and human? The world can exist by itself then.
3. What if there's no life after death and human can just disappear from this Earth.
4. What if there's no heaven or hell?
She claims that she attempted suscide cause she thinks that death is the best way to escape. She can just disappear from the world. It is just that it'll be painful for her love ones to take it.
She claims that love isn't everything. Hapiness is what she seeks.
She also claims that she has a rebellious character and she hates to follow God's command because she doesn't like to be changed by Someone.
She claims that each of us in the family is holding her back to pursue her hapiness.
I felt so unprepared when she questions and starts to claims these awful things. I can't imagine that she can pretend and acted godly throughout her past years in church. She did most of the things because she wanted to follow her crush's footsteps and not God's. I really doubt whether she has ever loves God. But actually, after much reflection, I felt that she had done something out of love and obeys God. She spread gospel to her close friend and when she tried to convinced God that only Jesus is the only way and what Jesus has done, she cried. How can all this then be a lie? It's so contradicting.
Right now, I can only be a blessing to her and don't give her any headaches. I know that God answers prayer and He alone can save her. I can't do it myself. All I ask for is my sis to be changed and know that hapiness isn't everything. It doesn't last as it makes a person pursue after it again and again. It's an endless pursuit and it's tiring pursuing that. So it doesn't brings an eternal sastifaction to anyone. Hapiness isn't eternal. It's different from joy peace and love. It doesn't bring contentment after you have achieved hapiness. You have to have true peace, LOVE and contentment to sastify the hunger of the soul. This peace is given by God and it's peace with God that brings about a calm and peaceful life. With Him, even if I have nothing in this world, I don't have to worry. He alone can provide.
I don't understand why my sis chose not to believe what she have believed before. Perhaps it's the questions that other non christians posted to her. So she doesn't have any answers to it and hence she chose to follow their ideas. Perhaps this is the evil one who's implanting the thoughts to her when she starts to reflect about life at the time she's going through all the sufferings and pain.
I just hope that one day, she'd realized that what the Bible says is true. God can provide and give what the world can't. Only one life will soon be passed. But only what's done for God will truly last.
Bye readers
Apparently I felt so cheated by my own sis. I can't believe that all the while she's not a child of God. I tried to convince myself that she's not. But I really can't believe. She said she's not a genuine believer and in fact she doubted a lot of things that the scriptures says.
After all the heart-to-heart talk...here's the questions that she asked along (very thought-provoking):
1. Since none could explain how God can exist by Himself, why then believe that He existed?
2. and Since God can be existed by Himself, Man can likewise be self-existing. Why then think so much about who created the world and human? The world can exist by itself then.
3. What if there's no life after death and human can just disappear from this Earth.
4. What if there's no heaven or hell?
She claims that she attempted suscide cause she thinks that death is the best way to escape. She can just disappear from the world. It is just that it'll be painful for her love ones to take it.
She claims that love isn't everything. Hapiness is what she seeks.
She also claims that she has a rebellious character and she hates to follow God's command because she doesn't like to be changed by Someone.
She claims that each of us in the family is holding her back to pursue her hapiness.
I felt so unprepared when she questions and starts to claims these awful things. I can't imagine that she can pretend and acted godly throughout her past years in church. She did most of the things because she wanted to follow her crush's footsteps and not God's. I really doubt whether she has ever loves God. But actually, after much reflection, I felt that she had done something out of love and obeys God. She spread gospel to her close friend and when she tried to convinced God that only Jesus is the only way and what Jesus has done, she cried. How can all this then be a lie? It's so contradicting.
Right now, I can only be a blessing to her and don't give her any headaches. I know that God answers prayer and He alone can save her. I can't do it myself. All I ask for is my sis to be changed and know that hapiness isn't everything. It doesn't last as it makes a person pursue after it again and again. It's an endless pursuit and it's tiring pursuing that. So it doesn't brings an eternal sastifaction to anyone. Hapiness isn't eternal. It's different from joy peace and love. It doesn't bring contentment after you have achieved hapiness. You have to have true peace, LOVE and contentment to sastify the hunger of the soul. This peace is given by God and it's peace with God that brings about a calm and peaceful life. With Him, even if I have nothing in this world, I don't have to worry. He alone can provide.
I don't understand why my sis chose not to believe what she have believed before. Perhaps it's the questions that other non christians posted to her. So she doesn't have any answers to it and hence she chose to follow their ideas. Perhaps this is the evil one who's implanting the thoughts to her when she starts to reflect about life at the time she's going through all the sufferings and pain.
I just hope that one day, she'd realized that what the Bible says is true. God can provide and give what the world can't. Only one life will soon be passed. But only what's done for God will truly last.
Bye readers
Monday, August 1, 2011
It's not an illusion
My heart will let go your name.
These words I've held long, but I'll never mention them again.
Hey readers
There seems to be a lot of things to attend and fun events to go to.
There's a lot of chance to interact with him and to know him better.
But most of the time, I'm spending my time with others and having fun with them.
I don't know why, but I think I'm a boring girl....
Anyway, I'm not that hesistant in letting go... Sometimes I felt life is so funny. When I miss him like madness, nothing or no interactions happens.
But when I stop thinking about this in my head,
Please don't be in love with someone else,
Please don't have somebody waiting on you...
there're a lot of things worth thinking about,
Moments to be cherished, and remembered.
It's good that I start to feel numb now. At least it's less hurtful and save lotsa mental energy missing him.
Goodnight.
These words I've held long, but I'll never mention them again.
Hey readers
There seems to be a lot of things to attend and fun events to go to.
There's a lot of chance to interact with him and to know him better.
But most of the time, I'm spending my time with others and having fun with them.
I don't know why, but I think I'm a boring girl....
Anyway, I'm not that hesistant in letting go... Sometimes I felt life is so funny. When I miss him like madness, nothing or no interactions happens.
But when I stop thinking about this in my head,
Please don't be in love with someone else,
Please don't have somebody waiting on you...
there're a lot of things worth thinking about,
Moments to be cherished, and remembered.
It's good that I start to feel numb now. At least it's less hurtful and save lotsa mental energy missing him.
Goodnight.
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