HEY READERS!
Frankly speaking, I think that having a retreat is much more better than going on a mission trip when I'm spiritually drained out. I felt that retreat allows me to withdraw myself from doing the normal "boring" stuffs like fb-ing and bejewel-ing and provides me a room to reflect on my walk with God, and to set me thinking on purifying my desires, letting God's desires to be my desires.
Whereas for a misson trip, I have so many things to do and I gradually get tired out and worned out. There's an obligation to want to spend time with God. Mission trip allowed me to see God's handiwork in His creation and how He has blessed the work there, experience something indifferent. But personally, there wasn't much gain for my spiritual walk. It's overloading due to tight schedule and traveling tired me out pretty much.
To be brutally honest with myself, I've all the desires that the world have. Desiring to posses tangeable things such as branded goods, cute accessories or clothes, and even desiring to posses a relationship. I'm sure everybody wants to have a person to lean on, and sometimes a gentle touch to feel secured. But all these things will pass away. Naked will I come to Earth, and naked will I depart. There's really nothing that I can bring to heaven. Only what's done for Christ will last.
There's this so called joke about this man who bring all his gold bars to heaven. And when God sees it, He said,"Why do you bring a pavement to heaven?" HAHAHA! Having riches is nothing.
From the retreat, I've managed to sort out my desires and priorities better..still struggling..but much better. I realised that my hand is still holding on to something I deemed as precious, unwilling to open it up to let God hold my hand and filled it with eternal things. I've actually missing out a lot of things that God wanted to give me. *tears rising up* So foolish...
Also from the retreat, I realised that I have to intentionally and deliberately put away the cares, the worries, the to-do list, and just, wanna spend time with God. Solitude...something I have to learn. Sometimes desiring to want to spend time with God should not come only at convienent places like go worship then start to commit myself etc. It really requires me to stop my to-do list and just desire to want to talk to Him like a girl who's in relationship with a guy and pines to want to talk to him every moment. That should be like the attitude.
I realised that some girls wanna stick with a guy who's not upright and all..and despite all those plentiful flaws, they still would want to stick with that guy..because she knows that she's wanted, she knows that she's important to that guy, she knows that she means all the whole world to him. But I realised that we as human, are all God's creation, each of us are made differently, ALL ARE PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT. ALL are important, valuable and significant because He loves us. When I thought that I'm so important and significant, I felt that this is something I can hold on to especially I start to get depressed and dejected, knowing that I'm no way significant in Ben's heart and I take no special place there. It sort of rejuvenates me and tried to let me think that it's not worth to give all my love to someone that does not love me at all..
Yes, this is what I've thought about. and thanks for reading it through! :))
BYE READERS!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
just thinking
Hey readers! My work was horrendous and super hectic. Well, perhaps I will let my manager know that i'll not be working there after sunday though I still wana work to save up some money. But well, I think I shouldn't work there anymore and I should go find other jobs. WHY?
1. Mainly because I don't enjoy working there. My colleagues age gap were too far and it's hard to blend in. Furthermore, most of them are thai. So it's hard to catch what they're talking about sometimes.
2. Expect you to know how to do everything. I said that cause they didn't teach me how to do certain things when I've asked them how to. And most of the time, I'll have to try things out myself first. If I do well, I'll pass and receive no further comments. If I happened to press certain things wrongly and place things wrongly or the way I handle with the rice isn't nice, they'd be upset and den teach me how to do it right.
3. It's not easy serving, washing dishes, taking orders, handling rice, cooking rice, calculating and voiding receipts, cleaning up the whole restaurant which is small but enough to drain off all my energy.
4. there's this guy that would stalked girls home. I've no intention to carry on even when there's still motivation for me to still wants to carry on because of money. But the thing is, I really don't enjoy it as much as I want to. So, I've decided to quit.
IT'S really a tiring and flustering job. Many things happened and things that I've realised today...But I would like to thank God first before talking about all the things that happened.
Seriously, I had to work 9 hours consecutively for two days and the next two days, I've to work for 10 hours. So imagine...how sore and heavy were my legs..and how tiring it was to go through all that when I didn't work for almost 1 year already..and didn't do anything strenous during the hols.
After receiving the invitations from timo, I felt really happy!! he invited me to go USS!! At first when I heard from maggie that timo asked whtr I can a not, I was like..nononono!! but I can take a day off!! and I thought ben would be joining us. haha. den..after I asked timo, he says only got him and jeremy going...den a sudden rush of disappoint came in. But I pretended to be okay..anw, I still would want to go despite ben not going because uss is just too fun and nice!! it cannot be missed! So I've asked my mum and my mum asked me to ask my bro can a not cos he has gt 75dollar voucher to spend it on resorts world.
SUPER HAPPY WHEN TIMO SAYS, "OKAY SURE!!! WE CAN ALL GO ON FRIDAY!!"
wooohooo!! and my mum agreed and soo...
Universal Studio aka USS in short, HERE I COME! :D
It was crazy waking up earlier den usual. And it was even crazier to catch up with my brother cos he's walking too fast ahead of me and he climbed the stairs instead of taking escalator and also insisted to take the circle line den change to purple line to get to habourfront so in the end, the train got jammed at the circle line and it took us 10-15 mins later for the next train to arrive.
GOSH.
The MOST CRAZIEST THING IS WAD YOU KNOW... TO TAKE 3 ROLLER COASTER RIDES CONSECUTIVELY...in the MORNING, when I was ALL LETHARGIC. and it just so happened that the first ride is the MOSTTTTT SCARIEST RIDE when I thought it would be slightly better den the cyclone one. BUT IT'S NOT THAT CASE. The first drop makes me want to cry..and I seriously hope the ride would faster end if not I'd just die.
And it's super uncomfortable to keep feeling the free fall..Anyway, I get to talked to mag in the air. I said, "I THINK WE'RE GOING TO DROP." and she replied, "yeah I know!! we are!"
So...after taking the human ride, I was feared and shook so badly, hesistating to take the cyclone ride when I saw the warning notice that says it has 5 up-side down turns! So, I was saying to mag and jeremy, One, not enough.. Two, not enough.. Three, err...maybe also not enough... Four, enough and maybe... Five, OKAY! NO MORE!! THATS SUPER ENOUGH. And me and mag was like deciding on what to say while we're flying in the air...so we decided to say," GOD SAVE ME!" and after the ride...we'd want to say, "AMEN!" haha. Den in the end we didn't say anything cos I was screaming all times..It's just so shiok mann. I love the turns. Only the dropping and accelerations makes me felt so helpless like dying. So compared to the human ride, the cyclone one is slightly better. More relaxed. haha :D
Next was the dumb mummy backward motion ride at certain times. Which I think...no kick. Queing up for the rapids adventure was crazy. It took us 2 and a half hrs to take that 2-3 minutes ride. and the slope wasn't that steep. HAHAHA! I didn't get wet as much as the rest. in the end, I myself who brought 3 ponchos and 1 umbrella didn't get wet..In fact, I was the driest. hahhaa!! SEE, the outcome of not wearing ponchos lah people. Timo was funny. He said, "I wasn't scared taking this ride. I was only scared because I scared to get wet." LOL!!!!! Far far away, shrek 4D shows are the best.. But I can't figure out how the spiders effects can came out so real. Among so many things, I realised who timo likes and it's so complicated.
Anw, I gota go sleep now
BYE READERS
1. Mainly because I don't enjoy working there. My colleagues age gap were too far and it's hard to blend in. Furthermore, most of them are thai. So it's hard to catch what they're talking about sometimes.
2. Expect you to know how to do everything. I said that cause they didn't teach me how to do certain things when I've asked them how to. And most of the time, I'll have to try things out myself first. If I do well, I'll pass and receive no further comments. If I happened to press certain things wrongly and place things wrongly or the way I handle with the rice isn't nice, they'd be upset and den teach me how to do it right.
3. It's not easy serving, washing dishes, taking orders, handling rice, cooking rice, calculating and voiding receipts, cleaning up the whole restaurant which is small but enough to drain off all my energy.
4. there's this guy that would stalked girls home. I've no intention to carry on even when there's still motivation for me to still wants to carry on because of money. But the thing is, I really don't enjoy it as much as I want to. So, I've decided to quit.
IT'S really a tiring and flustering job. Many things happened and things that I've realised today...But I would like to thank God first before talking about all the things that happened.
Seriously, I had to work 9 hours consecutively for two days and the next two days, I've to work for 10 hours. So imagine...how sore and heavy were my legs..and how tiring it was to go through all that when I didn't work for almost 1 year already..and didn't do anything strenous during the hols.
After receiving the invitations from timo, I felt really happy!! he invited me to go USS!! At first when I heard from maggie that timo asked whtr I can a not, I was like..nononono!! but I can take a day off!! and I thought ben would be joining us. haha. den..after I asked timo, he says only got him and jeremy going...den a sudden rush of disappoint came in. But I pretended to be okay..anw, I still would want to go despite ben not going because uss is just too fun and nice!! it cannot be missed! So I've asked my mum and my mum asked me to ask my bro can a not cos he has gt 75dollar voucher to spend it on resorts world.
SUPER HAPPY WHEN TIMO SAYS, "OKAY SURE!!! WE CAN ALL GO ON FRIDAY!!"
wooohooo!! and my mum agreed and soo...
Universal Studio aka USS in short, HERE I COME! :D
It was crazy waking up earlier den usual. And it was even crazier to catch up with my brother cos he's walking too fast ahead of me and he climbed the stairs instead of taking escalator and also insisted to take the circle line den change to purple line to get to habourfront so in the end, the train got jammed at the circle line and it took us 10-15 mins later for the next train to arrive.
GOSH.
The MOST CRAZIEST THING IS WAD YOU KNOW... TO TAKE 3 ROLLER COASTER RIDES CONSECUTIVELY...in the MORNING, when I was ALL LETHARGIC. and it just so happened that the first ride is the MOSTTTTT SCARIEST RIDE when I thought it would be slightly better den the cyclone one. BUT IT'S NOT THAT CASE. The first drop makes me want to cry..and I seriously hope the ride would faster end if not I'd just die.
And it's super uncomfortable to keep feeling the free fall..Anyway, I get to talked to mag in the air. I said, "I THINK WE'RE GOING TO DROP." and she replied, "yeah I know!! we are!"
So...after taking the human ride, I was feared and shook so badly, hesistating to take the cyclone ride when I saw the warning notice that says it has 5 up-side down turns! So, I was saying to mag and jeremy, One, not enough.. Two, not enough.. Three, err...maybe also not enough... Four, enough and maybe... Five, OKAY! NO MORE!! THATS SUPER ENOUGH. And me and mag was like deciding on what to say while we're flying in the air...so we decided to say," GOD SAVE ME!" and after the ride...we'd want to say, "AMEN!" haha. Den in the end we didn't say anything cos I was screaming all times..It's just so shiok mann. I love the turns. Only the dropping and accelerations makes me felt so helpless like dying. So compared to the human ride, the cyclone one is slightly better. More relaxed. haha :D
Next was the dumb mummy backward motion ride at certain times. Which I think...no kick. Queing up for the rapids adventure was crazy. It took us 2 and a half hrs to take that 2-3 minutes ride. and the slope wasn't that steep. HAHAHA! I didn't get wet as much as the rest. in the end, I myself who brought 3 ponchos and 1 umbrella didn't get wet..In fact, I was the driest. hahhaa!! SEE, the outcome of not wearing ponchos lah people. Timo was funny. He said, "I wasn't scared taking this ride. I was only scared because I scared to get wet." LOL!!!!! Far far away, shrek 4D shows are the best.. But I can't figure out how the spiders effects can came out so real. Among so many things, I realised who timo likes and it's so complicated.
Anw, I gota go sleep now
BYE READERS
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