The 100th post

"Hi Shi Ting, I'm crazy violent monster named cough...
I love your voice. It looks delicious."

Cough grabbed my voice and ate it.
*WHOA~~ IT TASTE FANTASTIC!*

Hi readers...

Yes, you read that lame story.. and I lost my voice. Sound like Madonna now.
SEXY VOICE! hahaha. Its like when I say one sentence, a few words are missing. and they sounded like whisper.

Becos of this illness, I can't go to work. and today...I didn't go for morning worship>ministry>sun sch>piano lesson>work. All have to be cancelled. *sighs*

Hope that I can get well soon and quickly go to work!! nid money!!

withLOTSofLOVE
Shi Ting

a complete, uncontrollable breakdown of tears

Hi readers.

Sis told me that I'm thinking too much.

Perhaps I am. I having too many concerns. Burden for my friends.
The thought that some people were born to die isn't great at all.

But what can I do? I am a complete failure, a person who hardly utters any word to any of her friends about God. I tried. But lost their attention easily and walked away feeling that I'm addicted to Christianity.

I pondered about the things in the world. What a wonderful creation that God created!! My eyes do not have to bear that glaring sunlight when I am sleeping because the Sun went to sleep too. The trees and flowers waving their hands to me while the wind blows. YES! It was that breeze that makes it breathtaking. Surely, the One who created all this, must be someone who loves you and I. Its so lovely. And when I thought of it as I'm walking back home today, I held my tears. And don't know why tears starts streaming down my faceimmediately when I got into the lift. Felt really paiseh to let my family members see me crying because they were all home. I mean...its really stupid right? So I stood at the stairs to calm down and took a long breath. BREATHE IN and OUT. Mixed emotions. Great joy with thanksgiving in my heart, yet sorrows for friends who are not saved.

Obviously, I had not done my best.

Well anw, I'm saturated with the Word today. Aunty Swee Choo fed me with a lot of words and I am too full and finally burst out...and agn, hunger.

I told myself...why am I crying for myself all the time...self pitying that my life was really sadly boring, unattractive...got bullied and hurt or did the wrong thing and got punished. How is it that I can cry for all this almost all the time and it was none of His glory; all in vain. And I seldom shed tears of gratefulness...to the One who had kept me save till now. They just do not know how much it takes to get this far...

Of great confidence, I know who I have believed. And am persuaded that Christ died, and He was buried and that He rose up on the third day. He, the One who overcame death. He, suffered so much. All because He love me. And I believed that even if this world, there is only me. One sinner...He will still come down to die for my sins. All because of love. God, you love me and I love You too...I am sorry and I am very ashamed of what I have did and You are all that I need. Without You, there's no me.

Bye readers.

white horse

Just don't know why...
The white horse song kept on playing in my head...

Stupid girl stupid girl, I should have known...
I'm not your princess
This not a fairytale.

Hey readers

I quit. Well, I never love to organise things for w15h.
Its super not bonded. Except for the walk-to-woodlands-mrt-station peeps are spontaneous. The rest were very hard to please them. All VIP, head shot.

They never knew how hard it is to get people to come and get food and stuffs to make them feel comfortable. Well, I just wanna make people happy. I knew they are. But don't get why my mum and my sis kept on annoying me and telling me wad to do like i'm a small kid.

I feel like going somewhere really far. really far...
I don't wanna face my family members everyday to hear their textbook advices and comments.
I'm getting super sick of it.

I shall save up $ and wait till the right time, and I shall leave this place and forever not to come back. [I REALLY FEEL LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW~]

Right now I'm so stuck in this place. All I go is just work work work, visiting people's house, a few dinner with friends, church church church, school for jazz workshop, piano piano piano.

I want something new. new. new. badly.
Not a guy, a place. A new place. like new zeland.
I want to take a breeze...
Go sightseeing...
take awesome photographs...
wear a lovely dress...

Dreaming about it now...

couldn't get it clear

Hey readers!

Happenings:
Eileen's birthday- She was surprised to see me there!! and she likes the birthday gifts (:

WORKWORKWORK- the wedding buffet dinner was super slack. $30 very easy to earn :D BUT! I was so embarrased when that indian guy asked for vodka orange, I thought he was trying to say water orange. orange + water. so I gave him that. and he asked, whats this? I said we don't serve real oranges. so I mixed the orange soda with water. Then he said, No..I mean vodka (I heard water agn) orange! and his friend shook his head. and I finally understood that its hard liqour drink. But he has already asked another waiter to get. so I just stood there.

Well..got another day that I chiong for work. 7am-11pm. SUPER SHAGGED. plus the day after work hafta go church. Really forced myself to wakie wakie.

church! [sunday school anni]- sad by the number of girls that attended. well, I was sticking with yinsan the whole evening. I talked to a guy in depot walk that I think I didn't talked to him for years. and I took pics (:

Replug with jammers arena (jazz workshop): SUPER FUN! funny too!! Mr chia (my former music teacher in NBSS, now coaching in replug) was teaching theory. He wanna test us on the 13th note/6th/5th note of any keys he named. So I was very excited and enthu! Iq kept asking me to keep quiet. cos I keep answering first! LOL! [: den Warren started to imitate my facebook pic. He said that even though my granny looked grumpy I still gave the twist and happy (act cute) face.

SHOPPING with kimlaopo- I owed her $23!! Crazy shopping and it was fun (: go around hunting for the chanel ring after I thought I won't be buying becos its so ex! But well...I just love it when I first saw it. so i bought it. We went hunting for my fairy necklace..and I was disappointed that I couldn't find it in orchard wisma. den somehow we decided to go to 313@somerset cos kimmy never went in there b4. So I'VE GOT MY FAIRY NECKLACE! beautiful! On the way home after kimmy left, I went to AMK to collect that lovely white cardigan that has got ribbons on both side of it. awws..really felt so happy. Feeling excited, I went home to try out the new clothes and new outfit together with the new accessories. Pampered, yes it was [:

Everyday is a new day, a new beginning and a new hope. New feelings were established too (:

bye readers!

shag

Hey readers...

I haven't been blogging much.
Have been crazy working.

OH yes, about work...it makes me mad and happy.
WHY MAD?
Park palace manager wants me to get to park palace restaurant to work for the evening after I've finish setting up at the banquet's canning room. Well..canning room was used for park palace function, but canning room is somewhere that I'm more familiar with because its at banquet. So I wanna stay there and don't wanna go down to park palace restaurant to work. The captain told the manager if I could stay at canning a not, then he say cannot cos he want me to work at p.palace as I've worked there for quite sometime. (sians!)

THATS NOT IT!! I had to takkaire of so many tables. Practically one person to 3 tables. Serve until i wanna die. Den those aunties that helped out in canning room end off early and came down to help. One of the aunties asked me why i wanna coming down to parkpalace. she said she received $20 of angbao money and furthermore, they felt very comfortable and relax working there. RIGHT after I heard this, I WAS DAMMM PISSED!

It got me complaining about this stupid manager for the whole day because his handwritting suxs. and I have to go up and down finding him for stupid signature so that I can collect pay and get that troublesome account lady to approve my work voucher(so I went to the account>to the security>to the ballroom>security>account *repeat 2 times) this took me HALF AN HOUR LONG and I've got like 45 mins for break only. So I hafta eat like hungry monkey that day for dinner. MEGA PISSED. Even worse, my shoes are breaking apart. It cannot be worn but hafta no choice but to work with torn shoes.

Walking home, I felt super pissed and a bit of fear aroused. the surroundings were too quiet and what's worse was the slasher that goes around disfiguring females' face by slashing them with knife, haven't get caught yet. (But I have to remember God's promise. That even I walked in a lonesome dark valley, He's with me. And I shouldn't fear)

HOME SWEET HOME. I felt really shagged that day. and i hate to work at park palace.
I REALLY LOVE BANQUET.

Next, happy working? well thats cos i'm working in banquet on some fine day(working hours: 9pm-5am) I'm not trying to kill myself by working until so late. its just once in a while and whats more, my manager booked a suite for me and ruoxi to sleep!! SHIOK SHIOK! HOTEL ROOM 1018! i didn't get to sleep much becos the next day got video shoot for repluggios at rp. But wad was shiok was, theres food the next day morning when I woke up((: and meeting the repluggios was dammm fun! All that stupid jokes and photos really made me laughed hard. I hadn't felt like this for quite sometimes already. Surely, only rp friends can crack me up most of the time. :D

I don't know whether i'm feeling alone or was it serenity?
Life was busy busy like bee but I don't really feel that I like this kind of life...
Perhaps I want somebody to need me. Yup, need and want is a totally different thing.


anw, today sunday school..
I had NEVER in my life thought of this...
That I'm a gift from the Father to the Son (L.J.C.).
I always see that the Lord Jesus was a gift from the Father, to bring eternal salvation to me.
But when the sunday school teacher said that I'm a gift to the Son. Just a gift, although I cannot bring eternal salvation like He could, I felt really special. I don't want to be too complacent and live my life any-o-how. And if i'm living my life any-o-how, it will mean this truth, I can't get to heaven. Because it reflects that I don't treasure the Lord and what He has done for me.

Sometime many Christians lay a foot on the world and the other on the church, and this cannot be so. (I cannot serve 2 masters) Many christians, including myself always prayed that the Lord will help us to do well (like wealth) in life, which is not something that we should not be doing. He is my master and I shouldn't be asking of Him to help me in this and that. I should do His will instead(: Anw, loving the world will bring forth temptations and its a snare. I love today's lesson. it has too much of a impact. I really need to check out my goals. If the goal is the same as an unbeliever, I should change it to some goal that will honor and glorify the ONE.


BYE READERS![: