ARGH!!!!

If fb was a person, I'm so gonna kill it. He replied like 5 minutes after my post and I didn't see it when I refreshed the page. and he's like offline?!?!?!?!?!?!??!! oh nevermind, at least I get to see his reply! and I'M SO GLAD HE REPLIED SOON AFTER MY POST! :DDD loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3

disappointed, anxious, worried, hopes down

These emotions can be felt when I'd pinned so much hope that he'd reply and we'll have a fruitful chat and for the past 22 minutes, there's still not a single response.

I start to wonder, if it was the girl that he used to like, will he ignore her convo...pretending not to see it?? I felt insignificant again. :( Wad am I thinking mann, okay, study. ignore him.

I have so much to say

Dear readers

I was really touched by my dad. After he heard that I havent had chilli crab for so long, he went to buy the crabs and my mom cooked them! The crabs were really fresh and I just felt that it's super heart warming. Such a warm and lovely parents I have..

I couldn't help but to praise my parents at that point of time :) 24/11/2011 - Remember this day. The smiles, the jokes, the crazy laughter...lazy talk...all together with the family :) what a heart warming day..

Somehow during the week, I finally convinced myself to muster up the courage to talk to him..
But everytime I see him online, I always have this thought in my mind: "is this the best time to talk to him? What if he's busy or I disturb him?" So ended up didn't talk to him..

Just like today..I had this thought when I see him online. And true enough, he offline pretty soon after I click on his conversation.. So agn, I didn't get to talk to him...

I have got so many to say...so many things to ask...so many things that I wanted to know..but well, I always didn't get the chance. I felt that emailing him is too formal...so he might suspect something..anw, I didn't even email my other overseas friends :/ so wad's more he's a guy..

I wanted to let you know...
The troubles that I face day to day..(gaining weight such that my tummy is bigger den my boob and my friend also called ben said this to me, "SHOW ME!" and I went, "hahahhahaa NO WAY!"
The funny things that pops out during these two months. (pigeon came in my house, my butt got touched by someone during YP games session: dog and bone)
That questions that I have in my mind (like how's berlin and school, friends, any nice FOOD and managed to find a church? have you tried ben's cookie? haha. Wanna see ur haircut.)
I wanna see u face to face (please webcam with me)

But it never happened this two months...

Rather the things that happened these two months was...
just thinking about the times that I had so much fun when you were there with me.
words that cracked me up, smiles that lift me up :) I love those expression when u found me so crazily weird. But do you know, you make me crazier, crazier. Feels like I'm falling and I'm lost in your eyes.. I really really miss you. Oh! you're online now! :D Issit cause u managed to feel what my heart is feeling now, so u appeared (online)?

BYE READERS!

Family ties

I went to find a list of phrases to describe an annoying person and I found this phrase best, "There's nothing more boring than listening to people who talk merely to hear the sound of their own voice". This is exactly what I'll do when someone scolds me a fucker. Believe it a not, that's my sis who scolds me this.

I wondered, why she wanna scold me a fucker? Does she wanna be a fucker's sister?
Well anw, I'll just treat it as a useless talk when she says nasty things about me.

I feel that siblings should have a close relationship. In fact, MANY (OR TONs) of my friends around me...they don't share a close relationship with their siblings which I think is really SAD.
Seriously...The problem is that when we know each other so well, we couldn't care about each other's feelings, having a higher expectations of our siblings, and in the end, we just try to avoid any convo with each other so that we won't have any unnecessary arguments or fights.

I feel that we all should feel each other's position, be it whether you're the eldest or younger or youngest in the family and hence treat our siblings nicely too, like how we treat our friends...Think about what is their first reaction before trying to put across anything nasty. There should be more concern and more bonding between siblings. I don't see why is there not a need to. If people in the family can get along so well, it makes the house so filled with warmth and happiness..creating memories...because for one thing, we won't get to live with our siblings forever. They would most likely be married and have their own house. So why not do it? Care more about ur siblings and when they have any troubles, they'll seek ur help..or have a shoulder to cry on. So next time, when things suddenly happened, they would be the one who's the nearest to you, lending you a shoulder to cry on. And of course, way more than that.

All this time, I always wanted someone who can understand me best. My cues, the way I speak, the tone...Well, I do have friends like that..but somehow, we're all very physical far from each other.. :(

It'll be great if my great friends were in my school with me everyday, stay near my house so that we can play with each other. Sighs..

Anw, I know that I'm asking too much.. wish I could be a little more contented.

come back soon

I was totally disappointed with the options I left if I were to graduate from RP now. Apparently I should have taken a look at the number of schools in singapore that offer pharmacy course and that I can graduate from that uni with a cert that Singapore's pharmacy recognises. So, after checking it out, there's only one option, NUS pharmacy. AND THAT'S A TOTAL IMPOSSIBLE SCHOOL TO ENTER. Not only with my gpa thats less than 3.5 now, but also it's COMPEITIVE ENTRY. I can stop dreaming of going there cos many who wants to pursue doctor (medicine) ended up pursuing in pharmacy. and mind you...all those peeps that I'm talking about are those that have As in their A level cert. So it definitely beats all other poly students. In order to do so, I have to go overseas for 4 years to get that cert. :( AND IT'S SO EXPENSIVE! I might as well go buy a 3 room flat and stay happily ever after. I'm not joking, it's SGD$123,000++ and what about living expenses? (I may need another SGD$30,000++) It's soooooo DISAPPOINTING. I really don't wanna spend my life being in debt because of overseas studiesss.

The other option, is to pursue other courses. Music could be another option..cos I got distinction for gr 8 and quite a fair grade for music Os. But, I really don't really have that passion as compared to pharmacy. I wanna compound drugs and feel really professional, helping others. But now, it's really really disappointing.

I don't know what I'll choose...but well, I've decided to look for a pharm tech job after my diploma. Don't know how long I'd stay, but if I ever get promoted in 3 years time, I will say bye to uni.