Precious almst gone..

Dear readers

There's something about me, feeling completely breathless, utterly helpless that I just want to stop doing every single thing. Something precious will soon be out of my sight. Though I never own the precious, had the precious, but it is my precious. YES. 3 precious words appeared in one sentence. Cos I couldn't do anything more, nor say anything that's in my heart for so long. I don't want to do this anymore. But I don't know why I kept telling myself not to give up because I hadn't tried. I don't want to be a complete loser. Becos I'd never tried to hold it tight till refusal and rejectment comes in. So I told myself that there's still time, at least days. Make use of it to leave some precious memories for the precious. But I really don't know how. And so I'm stress, worried and dreamt about precious almost everynight. This is TRUE. He appeared in my dreams many times.

But there's another voice inside me, that says, just stop. Its better for me to stop. I don't have to do it. I don't have to feel stress. Leave it to God and I'll find peace. Lord, make me realise what I don't realised. Especially Your goodness. I want to have the love of God in me. I don't want Your love to me to be one-sided. I want to love you more. I know how it feels like and I hope I won't do this to you Lord.

Lord, I know how it feels like to have something precious taken away. I know who's precious to You. Its the soul of Thy creation. The people. Whenever the devil tempted them and leads them away from You. Lord, I know it is really sad. I hope that I can do something about it. Something that I can do for You in this area. But I'm still very unprepared. Prepare my Thy ways and sanctify me.

If someone is not meant for me, then just let it be.
If something is not meant to be heard or said, then let it be.
The most important thing is, I still have You.

Whether I am a complete winner or loser doesn't matter. The most important is, the VICTORY is the Lord and therefore, I will REJOICE!

Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say Rejoice!