OH! the PERFECT fit?

Hey READERS! [:

I just I just I just.....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....
I just I just I just....

I JUST!....just.....JUST.....
HAD A mini (actually is a HUGE)....





CRUSHED on someone I knew for so LONG!
NO WAY! no way! WHY?!?!?!?!?
I never like one sided..
Its going to drive me crazy...


How can he be SOOOOO PERFECT?
Everything about him was so perfect..
He's quite cute..
not only that..
He was a baptized believer in the same church as me. and I just realised that both of us were present at each other baptism service.
He's teaching/facilitating this group of sec 1 boys in Youth meeting.
He was in NPCC in ACJC i think. (I always like to have somebody like a policeman liddat (: )
The fact that he's in ACJC, and that he was in integrated program tells me that he's quite intellectual.
He can go and take bus the same way as me after church too (: HAHAHA!
He plays a bit of guitar..
He loves sports too (CAPTAIN'S BALL!)
Quite lame. -.-" but at the same time quite logical and funny :D
He let people take pics of him :D
and he has a darlie smile :D:D:D:D
He was in the same camp group as me..and that time, I was his assistant group leader(:
(He sang that song and borrowed markers from me. and I can still rmb those time)

I think about those times I get quite close to him.
Its quite sweet actually. and I realized that...actually unconsciously, I do have a little feeling for him ever since 2-4 years back. But I realised that just yesterday...(1may), when I saw him, I just kept looking at him secretly from the side. And when I don't see him, I felt paranoid. Kept looking around to see him, pretending that I'm finding somebody.
Mann, its horrible! its terrible!!
When he's near me, I start to feel a bit nervy..
and so when I'm talking to a friend, I started to laugh nervously...
(I didn't dare to look at him)

So when I'm in a distance from him, I just look around and saw him.
AND OH NO! he was facing the same direction and I look straight into his eyes. and quickly avoided. Why is this happening...

WHAT DID I DONE WRONG?
I never like one-sided love. Its kind of a bad thing.

SIGHS!!!!! And you know wad?!
I was hyper happy about today just becos I get to say Hi to him and he said Hi too and smiled to me?! (and he gave a quick look on the books that I'm holding).

AND I'm way too sick..
You know wad I did?
when I'm home...I kept replaying that scene when we said Hi to each other in front of the mirror and found out that I gave an awful smile. (and told myself that I should smile like this and not like that when the next time I say hi to him)

NONONONO...i'm just too sick. TOOO SICK.
I just..fell in love. I think so. a bit scared of feeling rejected and feeling jealous or disappointed.
I just wanna be myself when he's there.
I just don't want to fall too deep in love in him..
I just hope that he won't occupy too much space in my heart till God have to squeeze in order to stay in my heart.
Pray that I will not think too much abt him!! WALK FAITHFULLY WITH GOD!!
YES SHI TING!! JIA YOU!

BYE READERS! [:

More Babes than Dudes???

Hello READERS! [:

I believe most of us have started school already yea?

Well, I think year 2 is really YEAR 2! Its quite tough and I don't really like to go through all these modules. CHEM! BIO! BIOCHEM! so wadever mann..

But my class was kinda funny and they laughed at things too :D which makes the lesson quite enjoyable. (:

I named my class as more babes than dudes. Well, cos we don't have a fixed classroom. And so I can't name them in MSN after the classrooms names. Otherwise it would be a chaos. So I just picked one special trademark of my class. That is...There are more babes than dudes :p

Oh, this class....The first day of school i tell u...Its horribly funny.
My team...except Jenny, we have an "illness", which is i think..a blabbering problem. Like kinda tongue tied/twist. I made my team laughed so hard because I dunno how to pronounce section. and they laughed even harder when I said I don't believe I cannot pronounced the word sesscent. This is how I pronounced section to sess-cent.

But seems like Jenny had problem pronouncing the word ligand today! I remembered Jeremy pronounced it as li-gun. (what a LOL) But forgt wad jenny said. Anw..THIS IS CALL...*retribution!* BLAH! :P

One of the malay girls, I forgt wads her name (hah! paiseh!)...
She wanted the whiteboard duster. But guess wad..she said, where's the feather duster? Immediately we LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Feather duster...think wad...Clean house uh? HAHAHA! I was no better den her mann.. I remembered in sec 4, I said to Mrs Matthews that I will go down to the General hospital. ITS GENERAL OFFICE! wad general hospital...

but its how cute people get blur sometimes. Really makes me laughed loadds (:

Oh well, I love my biochem group too! the ragu and jennifer made me laughed soooo much. They share jokes and stories. And Jennifer said ragu's nick was gugu bird? And they found out about my shitting nick name and laughed hell loadds. Ragu shared one disgusting experience about the orange juice shot out of his friend's nostrils, leaving the plups inside the nostrils too. DAMM sick~ (what a eww!!)

Life in school was quite great. Had SLA fiesta. I thought its gna be really boring and stuffs. But to my surprise, it was fun! took pics and heard loadds of crappy jokes. ALSO, i met lotsa old old friends like primary school friends! COOL MAN!

HA! this is tabby from the same Interest Group as me!
REPLUG ! !Ao cheng on the left. He's a guitar pro and really musically talented mann!
Alex on the right. SUPER cool bassist. and he's oso very musically inclined!
My primary school friend! NAVEEN!

Happily ever after in RP? I hope so! Everyday is quite exciting actually. Friends to have lunch with. Friends to walk to or back to mrt station with. Jokes and Blur cute happenings to make me laugh. Kinda contented and don't wanna ask for more (:

Apparently that dream thing is still there.. I can't ask for more...but for you to get out of my dreams. I just want this to come to an end. Please...let go of me. Don't come into my dreams anymore.

Bye READERS! [:

bad sweet dreams

Hi readers!

Have you ever wondered that somehow actually the most amazing and awesome dream can be as bad as a nightmare?

Well...honestly, for me I do think that awesome sweet dreams can make me emotional down. Esp it is that kind of dream that u actually dreamt of someone whom you really like a lot likes you back. And that together, u and him did a lot and gone through a lot of tough events. It brought me back to the feeling that I was in love. The feeling is just so real that I myself could have that feeling of excitement when I dreamt of that dream. In the dream, everything just went so well..and I could feel that warmth and it comforted my soul in a way. However when the alaram starts to ring loudly and disturbed that whole dream...forcing me to wake up and leave that dream, I really hated it. Why couldn't my life be so full of surprises? Why do I have to face the reality and the truth that I can't have it...

And so, when I went off to work or to school for lessons, I felt really emotional. Really really hated it. Esp that particular dream... In that dream, I rmbed that he plucked the lemon flower from the ground and put it in my hand. I rmbed it was so lovely. But out of shock, some stupid woman appeared and commanded me to go back to work. So I had no choice but to put it in the pocket of my blouse. Dreams are dreams. Its so odd that the blouse I dreamt of was the blouse that I wanted to wear to work. When I woke up, I delibrately check if there was a lemon flower in it. But there was none. None at all. Nothing...

I've watched a lot of movies that something special occured to this particular girl, but in my life, there isn't at all. No fairytales, no magic. The lemon flower is not in the pocket...

So readers, sweet dreams can be worse than nightmares. Although it doesn't frightens you, but it makes u really want something that can never happen to happen in your life. Its so beautiful it makes you want to cry. It makes you really want something that you can never get.

I wish, that the pain of missing someone so much would soon be gone. I wish, the dream will never makes me get reminded of that feeling of being so in love with someone I can't be with and can never be with. I wish, that if dreams cannot come true, then it shouldn't be something that I would dream of at night.

Its been a long time

Hey readers!

Many many things happened during these few weeks.

One of the highlights were the days (2 days 1 night @Amara Sanctuary Resort Sentosa)
That place was really amazing! Located near or in the resorts world. and there's like private jacuzzi and sky pool (which nobody used it! and can see the "world" from there! at night, I can see the glittering singapore. In the morning, I can see lots of ships and birds flying above me. Love that life.

Well, time passes so quickly and the next morning hafta check out from that fab place. After checking out that place, my sis brought me to the underwater world, dolphin Lagoon, sky ride and the loge ride :D I never had such a fantastic day for soooo long. Had B and J ice cream too :D


The next day hafta work. Work for 5 days, den finally ytd, I had stop working. And start to do intensive revision. Alone yet kinda happy cos I pampered myself with a caramel fantasy which cost me $5.60. Its just a drink btw. And 6 chicken drumlets. i ate it in one go. How hungry I was haha (: didn't finish studying the whole chem book. but, at least..I felt a bit contented. (:
Going to cityhall later to collect my pay(: shall get ready now (: Oh yeah, and my dad birthday! I treat my sis mum and dad sakura. Going kinda broke. cos it cost $120.70!! But it was really delicious and they enjoyed the meal haha! Thank God (:


BYE READERS! [:

The 100th post

"Hi Shi Ting, I'm crazy violent monster named cough...
I love your voice. It looks delicious."

Cough grabbed my voice and ate it.
*WHOA~~ IT TASTE FANTASTIC!*

Hi readers...

Yes, you read that lame story.. and I lost my voice. Sound like Madonna now.
SEXY VOICE! hahaha. Its like when I say one sentence, a few words are missing. and they sounded like whisper.

Becos of this illness, I can't go to work. and today...I didn't go for morning worship>ministry>sun sch>piano lesson>work. All have to be cancelled. *sighs*

Hope that I can get well soon and quickly go to work!! nid money!!

withLOTSofLOVE
Shi Ting

a complete, uncontrollable breakdown of tears

Hi readers.

Sis told me that I'm thinking too much.

Perhaps I am. I having too many concerns. Burden for my friends.
The thought that some people were born to die isn't great at all.

But what can I do? I am a complete failure, a person who hardly utters any word to any of her friends about God. I tried. But lost their attention easily and walked away feeling that I'm addicted to Christianity.

I pondered about the things in the world. What a wonderful creation that God created!! My eyes do not have to bear that glaring sunlight when I am sleeping because the Sun went to sleep too. The trees and flowers waving their hands to me while the wind blows. YES! It was that breeze that makes it breathtaking. Surely, the One who created all this, must be someone who loves you and I. Its so lovely. And when I thought of it as I'm walking back home today, I held my tears. And don't know why tears starts streaming down my faceimmediately when I got into the lift. Felt really paiseh to let my family members see me crying because they were all home. I mean...its really stupid right? So I stood at the stairs to calm down and took a long breath. BREATHE IN and OUT. Mixed emotions. Great joy with thanksgiving in my heart, yet sorrows for friends who are not saved.

Obviously, I had not done my best.

Well anw, I'm saturated with the Word today. Aunty Swee Choo fed me with a lot of words and I am too full and finally burst out...and agn, hunger.

I told myself...why am I crying for myself all the time...self pitying that my life was really sadly boring, unattractive...got bullied and hurt or did the wrong thing and got punished. How is it that I can cry for all this almost all the time and it was none of His glory; all in vain. And I seldom shed tears of gratefulness...to the One who had kept me save till now. They just do not know how much it takes to get this far...

Of great confidence, I know who I have believed. And am persuaded that Christ died, and He was buried and that He rose up on the third day. He, the One who overcame death. He, suffered so much. All because He love me. And I believed that even if this world, there is only me. One sinner...He will still come down to die for my sins. All because of love. God, you love me and I love You too...I am sorry and I am very ashamed of what I have did and You are all that I need. Without You, there's no me.

Bye readers.

white horse

Just don't know why...
The white horse song kept on playing in my head...

Stupid girl stupid girl, I should have known...
I'm not your princess
This not a fairytale.

Hey readers

I quit. Well, I never love to organise things for w15h.
Its super not bonded. Except for the walk-to-woodlands-mrt-station peeps are spontaneous. The rest were very hard to please them. All VIP, head shot.

They never knew how hard it is to get people to come and get food and stuffs to make them feel comfortable. Well, I just wanna make people happy. I knew they are. But don't get why my mum and my sis kept on annoying me and telling me wad to do like i'm a small kid.

I feel like going somewhere really far. really far...
I don't wanna face my family members everyday to hear their textbook advices and comments.
I'm getting super sick of it.

I shall save up $ and wait till the right time, and I shall leave this place and forever not to come back. [I REALLY FEEL LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW~]

Right now I'm so stuck in this place. All I go is just work work work, visiting people's house, a few dinner with friends, church church church, school for jazz workshop, piano piano piano.

I want something new. new. new. badly.
Not a guy, a place. A new place. like new zeland.
I want to take a breeze...
Go sightseeing...
take awesome photographs...
wear a lovely dress...

Dreaming about it now...