Hey readers!
I hasn't been updating my blog...
I don't know whether it's the beginning or the end of something good that is going to happen or something bad that is going to end.
I had just went to read about my previous posts. I realized that what I've told myself to do, I had not accomplished it at all. I told myself to stop thinking about him, and think more about God, but I felt that I didn't. Yes, although sometimes I think about God more often than anyone genuinely, but, I often strayed when things happened. I often gave myself excuses and false hope to continue to lie to myself and lie to God. I'm so ashamed. Most of the time, my thoughts and decisions were affected by him.. I felt that I hadn't been living life to the fullest daily. I felt that I was just merely giving in to those thoughts that could stumble me and weaken me.
In fact, I'm feeling so weak and tired.
Well, it was a really nice day yesterday, because I get to have meal with him and the other 4 people which the girls are my besties and the guys, his good friends too. Hang out. yeah. I managed to hear a lot from him because most of the time, he was talking and talking away. And from there, he mentioned about what he wished his birthday gift was. I realised that his feelings for her has either grown or remains the same. I felt kind of bitter but I remained silent. But I felt like telling him, "probably you should make yourself her birthday present during her birthday." I dunno whtr she likes him a not. But well, I'm sure she wouldn't mind an extra housekeeper! :p
He showed care to the girls. Like how we were scared about getting scalded by the steaming pot. He didn't say a word about us being scared and he volunteered to help us to take the steamed egg.
The clams that I didn't like, he took it and dip it in the spicy sauce. GOSH, he really dipped a lot. *THUMBS UP*! And THUMBS UP also because he got the walking with Jesus' chords correct.
I've shared about the reasons why I wore think shirt like to think about God first before doing anything else. And he was like saying that I'm misquoting the verse? Cos the verse is saying Finally brethen whatever things are (okay I dunnoe the order) true, pure, noble, just, lovely and of good report, if there's any virtue, meditate on these things. (something liddat. Couldn't remember the exact verse content) and he said that's a sin and I said about me not thinking about the verse before wearing it and he says that's another SIN! AND he said about maggie and yinsan didn't think and blindly followed me. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I WANNA STUFF 100 CHILLI INTO HIS MOUTH.
Okay, but that doesn't made me felt bitter or what. It just made me understood that I need to explore the reasons of deciding anything. Whether it is my own thinking, or is it God's thinking.
I've also shared about why I pick up piano, the views of YA's BS sessions and my dream! I've dreamt that asaph is my son and the father is my father! And all of them were so bad. I told them that I think asaph likes me becos he eveything do the finger-poking face to me when he saw me. HE REMEMBERED! I'm so touched. And yinsan and maggie was like no...he also does that to jamie and worse still, ben or whoever said that asaph won't like me! So I'VE SHOW MY EXTREMELY UGLY-BITTERGOURD face while eating the green tea icecream. For a moment, the greentea icecream does taste like bittergourd. :( Well, we've talked about this mainly because the guys asked about how we feel about 21 year old guys dating girls of my age group. And before anyone could answer it, someone asked about the age gap thinggy and I thought guys that are 5 years older den me..still can make it bah. Anw, I really felt like telling them how comfortable and happy it was to go out with their age group. It was really nice. Can't they give us more time to thinkk?!
Anw, I laughed about timo's long neck! I asked if he had worn this traditional gold neck accessories that the female will wear to have a long neck. hehe! He looks really funny when I teased him! GOSH! and he purposely break the crabs in front of me and could happily laughed about it. SIGHS. The things he do really uh...*shake heads*
I love the way the workshop was conducted. It wasn't boring at all and some of the scenarios' suggested answers were really well-said. I felt that some of the scenarios aren't applicable for me nowadays although the one about taylor seems to be similar to the issue on going to cambodia. I did what was right afterall, because I've finally obeyed my parents and solved the conflict peaceably. :D
Well, afterall these things that had happened, I've decided to not let any of my decisions or behaviour to be affected by him or his presence. I shall evaluate whether what I'm going to chose to do is God's will and not because he'll be there or what.
I know I couldn't say that I don't like him now, because I'd be lying to myself. So now, to make things easier to accomplish and make things that I will be doing will be pleasing to God, intentions and decisions made by me must be thoroughly evaluated. AND YES, the THINK shirt shall reminder for me to THINK whether what I'll be doing is pleasing to God a not before doing it.
BYE READERS! [:
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Life is great..but it could be even greater..if only..if only..you were there.
Hey readers!
This is really a long week mann!
Studying and studying BUT...
HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!
Val's day with kimmy was funny thou.
Camworhing pics and farting in the toilet away.
I had lotsa air in my body mann..I was rather astonished by the amount of gas I've ejected.
haha! :D Kim was such a lovely girl mann.. Seriously I had a wonderful dinner and the food was good too! Paying only $4 for a $17+ meal cos she had voucher! I can't stand it but to laugh at the amount of weird faces that kimmmy and I can make. Seriously, we're gifted to be a clown mann.
Today's ellice farewell was amazing! It was not boring at all! we've played 3 games. and the last game was super duper funny. It's like imitating wad the card order the players to do. So we have to memorise the actions when we take our turns. And Timo was super funny. Because when I did the "applying-perfume" action, he tot I was digging my ears! And he made the muack sound when the action was blowing kisses. Nicholas was even best. when he took the card that says buckle up and say give me a kiss, his face glowed face as though he had just applied a whole box of blusher onto his face! Actually there was a lot more things that was funny. But most of the time..They're laughing at my evil laughter. hehehe,hahhaa, eh eh eh ...
Well, Ruth was damm funny too. She can't seems to repeat the moofing action. She just died when she did the first one. HAH! Oh mann..I just loved the game. cos I could see all the epic faces. Too bad, he wasn't there. I wish he was there...
I've finished writting his birthday card already. HAHA! its super kiddo.
I'm like really using all the space that I had. It's like less than A5 size. Some of the things I wrote was super lame thou.
Anyway, I know..He won't like someone like me..But that still doesn't stop me from liking him. Sighs, what could stop me from liking him mann?..Even if he gets a girlfriend...I think I might still continue to like him. Its just that I'd get jealous and abit snorty. But it doesn't matter if he got a girlfriend a not because one thing I know, a lot of girls are looking in his way. So jealousy just come in so easily. These things seriously ensnares me a lot. I have to look to God and be filled with Him and just Him alone. But why is it so hard when its so simple to do it?
This is really a long week mann!
Studying and studying BUT...
HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!
Val's day with kimmy was funny thou.
Camworhing pics and farting in the toilet away.
I had lotsa air in my body mann..I was rather astonished by the amount of gas I've ejected.
haha! :D Kim was such a lovely girl mann.. Seriously I had a wonderful dinner and the food was good too! Paying only $4 for a $17+ meal cos she had voucher! I can't stand it but to laugh at the amount of weird faces that kimmmy and I can make. Seriously, we're gifted to be a clown mann.
Today's ellice farewell was amazing! It was not boring at all! we've played 3 games. and the last game was super duper funny. It's like imitating wad the card order the players to do. So we have to memorise the actions when we take our turns. And Timo was super funny. Because when I did the "applying-perfume" action, he tot I was digging my ears! And he made the muack sound when the action was blowing kisses. Nicholas was even best. when he took the card that says buckle up and say give me a kiss, his face glowed face as though he had just applied a whole box of blusher onto his face! Actually there was a lot more things that was funny. But most of the time..They're laughing at my evil laughter. hehehe,hahhaa, eh eh eh ...
Well, Ruth was damm funny too. She can't seems to repeat the moofing action. She just died when she did the first one. HAH! Oh mann..I just loved the game. cos I could see all the epic faces. Too bad, he wasn't there. I wish he was there...
I've finished writting his birthday card already. HAHA! its super kiddo.
I'm like really using all the space that I had. It's like less than A5 size. Some of the things I wrote was super lame thou.
Anyway, I know..He won't like someone like me..But that still doesn't stop me from liking him. Sighs, what could stop me from liking him mann?..Even if he gets a girlfriend...I think I might still continue to like him. Its just that I'd get jealous and abit snorty. But it doesn't matter if he got a girlfriend a not because one thing I know, a lot of girls are looking in his way. So jealousy just come in so easily. These things seriously ensnares me a lot. I have to look to God and be filled with Him and just Him alone. But why is it so hard when its so simple to do it?
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Beyond reach
Hey readers...
Things are not progressing well..
First, I didn't get to talk to him even when I see him for 2 days..
Secondly, I was not invited to his birthday celebration on friday.
Thirdly, he won't be going to ellice's farewell.
Fourthly, I won't be seeing him for about 1 whole month.
Fifthly, other guys in church seems to be talking to me more often after since run for your life has ended and when I'm in charge of planning SS graduation.
Sixthly, especially samuel has been talking to me. Nowadays, he seems to come and talk to me more often and was concerned about me. As he was in the same CEP group as me, I get to see him longer and he even sat beside me today and joke about nicholas confessing his love to me. And he put on the paper flower on my head where he wrote (on behalf of nicholas -just for fun)," To: Shi Ting <3."
Oh mann..and CEP lesson was rather fun because they all keep making me laugh. Entertaining guys...
BUT, I seriously has no thoughts about liking another person. I don't want the distance to be so far..Sometimes I hope that he could be a little closer to me like what samuel did. I'm hoping that I could get him something and pass it to him personally on his birthday, but I've got no chance at all.. I could do nothing more except writing to him a birthday card together with maggie so that it doesn't look obvious at all..
I'm missing it all...losing it all..
I really lost hope...and I want to give up and be a thorough loser by not telling him how I feel about him for so long.
Tomorrow is Valentines' day and I'll be celebrating it with kimmy :)
I just hope that I could feel less disappointed..Because somehow I felt that all these things that happened, probably shows one thing...one single fact...which is...He's not meant for me...It has been all my wishful thinking..Because right now, he's only a friend to me. and I'm a very normal friend to him too. Not even a good friend of him. or a close friend. Or someone that he can always talk to and hang out with...Nowadays..He has been talking to Ruth more...I remember when I was in Uncle TK's house for CNY. He sat beside her and talk to her for quite sometimes. (the sight where it looks like someone is interested abt another person.) Anw, I realised that I kinda like Ruth as a friend. She's really friendly and honest about things. She and I can get along kinda well. I talked to her quite a lot nowadays. HAHA. I didn't know that she was so fun to disturb. :/
But I kinda think that he doesn't like her...probably its still that girl of his dreams..
Although I'm letting the way it is..but I had been secretly hoping that something could happen more esp during weekends (love those dinner.)
sighs. I really don't want to get into liking someone...but it's inevitable. Can't be controlled..
SIGHSSSSS...ok got to study for UT.
Bye readers
Things are not progressing well..
First, I didn't get to talk to him even when I see him for 2 days..
Secondly, I was not invited to his birthday celebration on friday.
Thirdly, he won't be going to ellice's farewell.
Fourthly, I won't be seeing him for about 1 whole month.
Fifthly, other guys in church seems to be talking to me more often after since run for your life has ended and when I'm in charge of planning SS graduation.
Sixthly, especially samuel has been talking to me. Nowadays, he seems to come and talk to me more often and was concerned about me. As he was in the same CEP group as me, I get to see him longer and he even sat beside me today and joke about nicholas confessing his love to me. And he put on the paper flower on my head where he wrote (on behalf of nicholas -just for fun)," To: Shi Ting <3."
Oh mann..and CEP lesson was rather fun because they all keep making me laugh. Entertaining guys...
BUT, I seriously has no thoughts about liking another person. I don't want the distance to be so far..Sometimes I hope that he could be a little closer to me like what samuel did. I'm hoping that I could get him something and pass it to him personally on his birthday, but I've got no chance at all.. I could do nothing more except writing to him a birthday card together with maggie so that it doesn't look obvious at all..
I'm missing it all...losing it all..
I really lost hope...and I want to give up and be a thorough loser by not telling him how I feel about him for so long.
Tomorrow is Valentines' day and I'll be celebrating it with kimmy :)
I just hope that I could feel less disappointed..Because somehow I felt that all these things that happened, probably shows one thing...one single fact...which is...He's not meant for me...It has been all my wishful thinking..Because right now, he's only a friend to me. and I'm a very normal friend to him too. Not even a good friend of him. or a close friend. Or someone that he can always talk to and hang out with...Nowadays..He has been talking to Ruth more...I remember when I was in Uncle TK's house for CNY. He sat beside her and talk to her for quite sometimes. (the sight where it looks like someone is interested abt another person.) Anw, I realised that I kinda like Ruth as a friend. She's really friendly and honest about things. She and I can get along kinda well. I talked to her quite a lot nowadays. HAHA. I didn't know that she was so fun to disturb. :/
But I kinda think that he doesn't like her...probably its still that girl of his dreams..
Although I'm letting the way it is..but I had been secretly hoping that something could happen more esp during weekends (love those dinner.)
sighs. I really don't want to get into liking someone...but it's inevitable. Can't be controlled..
SIGHSSSSS...ok got to study for UT.
Bye readers
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The life after death
Dear readers..
Have you ever wondered where you'll be going after you die?
Well, the fact that there is only two places that you can go.
1. Heaven
2. Hell
NO OTHER PLACES YOU CAN GO.
I remebered that Ben says if everybody knows that living in hell is like being covered with hot oil, they would want to go heaven straightaway! LOL.
From the experience of someone who has went to hell and came back alive, he said that he thought he would feel dead there. But instead, he felt being much more alive in hell. He saw his friends from the pub there. They keep telling him not to come to hell. The doctors managed to save him while he had stopped breathing. He was so scared and he keep telling the doctor he doesn't want to go back to the place again. And so the doctor asked him to repeat after what he say. The sinner's prayer. I couldn't recall the whole incident. But I remembered he went to heaven and he was in Jesus' hand. He felt so happy there that he doesn't want to go back. But God says his time is not up yet. So he came back to earth, alive and shared this incident. Well, that's what naomi shared when we had our groovies girls outing.
Man is separated from God because of sin.
And because of sin, God sent His only Son to die in my place, that I may not be curse (Curse is the one who hung on the tree).
His Son is called Jesus Christ. He alone is worthy to die in my place and redeem me from all the sins because He did not sin throughout His life. The reason why He was born from a virgin birth is to show that He did not posses the sinful nature. This sinful nature was brought down from Adam and Eve, and that's why we ordinary humans do not need to be taught how to sin, and we know how to sin. But Christ, He knew no sin. And that's why He alone is worthy to die in my place.
He has died. But He has overcome death as He rose again on the third day.
If Christ has not risen from the dead, aren't we all believing in a dead god? And all the saints would not have a hope to look forward to His coming again (His coming to take all His people back with Him. To meet Him in the air. And when He come again into this earth, His people will rule the earth with Him.)
Therefore, He lives, so that we may have a living hope.
But why believe in the Bible which is God's word?
The Bible is God's breathe and He uses man to write. It contains facts about the history and many of the prophecy (things about the future) were fulfilled. Only in the Bible, you'll find that God says that He is the Holy God and that HE IS GOD.
Believe so that you may know,
and not to know so that you may believe.
A prayer that we can pray to God when we realise that we need Him
Dear Lord
I know that I'm a sinner. I know that only through Your Son, Jesus Christ whom is the saviour, I can be saved. I sincerely want to repent and I need You to come into my life to be the miracle of my life.
In Jesus name,
Amen.
Why in Jesus name and not other's people name?
It is because He is the only one worthy to speak on our behalf because He has sacrificed His life to die in my place. So He alone is worth to speak on our behalf and no one else could.
I'm blogging this good news down because I do not want anyone to suffer in hell since Jesus Christ has paid the price by shedding His own blood. If you have believed in all that I've blogged here and prayed that prayer, you're now saved. The next thing that you should do is to get yourself a Bible as it is God's word.
If you are interested in a guy or a girl, you would find ways to get information to know about the person isn't it? Likewise, if you love God or you want to find out more about your Saviour, you should read His word and know Him more. You should also pray often to Him so as to establish a personal relationship with Him.
From my experience, The Lord is like my best friend. The One who is always there to hear all my pain. The One that I can share my joy and laughter. When I feel down, and through His words (in the Bible), I had a new hope a new joy to be happy about. And therefore I'm comforted.
I sincerely hope that you readers would consider this good news and I hope that it would be a miracle in your life.
Bye readers! [:
Have you ever wondered where you'll be going after you die?
Well, the fact that there is only two places that you can go.
1. Heaven
2. Hell
NO OTHER PLACES YOU CAN GO.
I remebered that Ben says if everybody knows that living in hell is like being covered with hot oil, they would want to go heaven straightaway! LOL.
From the experience of someone who has went to hell and came back alive, he said that he thought he would feel dead there. But instead, he felt being much more alive in hell. He saw his friends from the pub there. They keep telling him not to come to hell. The doctors managed to save him while he had stopped breathing. He was so scared and he keep telling the doctor he doesn't want to go back to the place again. And so the doctor asked him to repeat after what he say. The sinner's prayer. I couldn't recall the whole incident. But I remembered he went to heaven and he was in Jesus' hand. He felt so happy there that he doesn't want to go back. But God says his time is not up yet. So he came back to earth, alive and shared this incident. Well, that's what naomi shared when we had our groovies girls outing.
Man is separated from God because of sin.
And because of sin, God sent His only Son to die in my place, that I may not be curse (Curse is the one who hung on the tree).
His Son is called Jesus Christ. He alone is worthy to die in my place and redeem me from all the sins because He did not sin throughout His life. The reason why He was born from a virgin birth is to show that He did not posses the sinful nature. This sinful nature was brought down from Adam and Eve, and that's why we ordinary humans do not need to be taught how to sin, and we know how to sin. But Christ, He knew no sin. And that's why He alone is worthy to die in my place.
He has died. But He has overcome death as He rose again on the third day.
If Christ has not risen from the dead, aren't we all believing in a dead god? And all the saints would not have a hope to look forward to His coming again (His coming to take all His people back with Him. To meet Him in the air. And when He come again into this earth, His people will rule the earth with Him.)
Therefore, He lives, so that we may have a living hope.
But why believe in the Bible which is God's word?
The Bible is God's breathe and He uses man to write. It contains facts about the history and many of the prophecy (things about the future) were fulfilled. Only in the Bible, you'll find that God says that He is the Holy God and that HE IS GOD.
Believe so that you may know,
and not to know so that you may believe.
A prayer that we can pray to God when we realise that we need Him
Dear Lord
I know that I'm a sinner. I know that only through Your Son, Jesus Christ whom is the saviour, I can be saved. I sincerely want to repent and I need You to come into my life to be the miracle of my life.
In Jesus name,
Amen.
Why in Jesus name and not other's people name?
It is because He is the only one worthy to speak on our behalf because He has sacrificed His life to die in my place. So He alone is worth to speak on our behalf and no one else could.
I'm blogging this good news down because I do not want anyone to suffer in hell since Jesus Christ has paid the price by shedding His own blood. If you have believed in all that I've blogged here and prayed that prayer, you're now saved. The next thing that you should do is to get yourself a Bible as it is God's word.
If you are interested in a guy or a girl, you would find ways to get information to know about the person isn't it? Likewise, if you love God or you want to find out more about your Saviour, you should read His word and know Him more. You should also pray often to Him so as to establish a personal relationship with Him.
From my experience, The Lord is like my best friend. The One who is always there to hear all my pain. The One that I can share my joy and laughter. When I feel down, and through His words (in the Bible), I had a new hope a new joy to be happy about. And therefore I'm comforted.
I sincerely hope that you readers would consider this good news and I hope that it would be a miracle in your life.
Bye readers! [:
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Heart wretching.
Hey readers...
My day hasn't been really that awesome.
Oh well... Think positively yea Shi Ting (oh, I just love talking to myself. Like how I express it in the blog)
Recently during weekends, I do have a lot of chance to spend more time with him.
1. During Saturdays, he would come.
2. I had dinner after YP and he's there.
3. He heard from Ruth about my silly swimming experience that made the whole table laughed like mad. (Ok, I admit I did most of the laughing.)
4. When we had RFYL meeting, just before that...he was at the meeting room too. Playing titi and bridge. I didn't play with them because Titus don't let me play. And they only needed 4 played. so well. But when he was saying bye...and he look straight into my face..and the light that makes his eyes look glittery..does touched my heart and made it run fast. (so charminggg..glee!)
5. He came for the games day the following saturday.
6. I'm quite thankful for the games (special thanks to mervin) because of those games, I know..
i) He wanted to have 3 kids
ii) He want girls to go army
iii) He doesn't do house chores when he's young
iv) He uses colgate toothpaste! :O same same!
And also because of the games...
7. He held my wrist for the first time! Oh yea...
I don't know whether I'm the one who's shaking or he's the one who can't hold my wrist properly..because...MY WRIST WAS SHAKING TOO BADLY! (I was kinda afraid that he could feel my rapid pulse. But he seems quite okay. But when I went back to sit down. My legs are like jelly...as though I just went for a roller coaster ride..and I'm shell-shock.)
8. I get to play my favourite card games with the rest (although he didn't play..but well.)
Jumbo speed and ugly dolls! woo hoo! so fun! :)
9. BBQ TIME! He was there at the BBQ too! The food was awesome. The talk was challenging me to discover my gifts if I have not done so. I've really tried to find and discover what gifts I had. But I found none. Probably I feel that this kind of thing...others could see it better.
10. The next day, I was stucked in church the whole day, just like the previous sunday. Because I need to meet up with the SS graduates to come out with the presentation. It ended quite fast.
11. I was playing my grade 8 pieces and some of my most outstanding pieces hoping that he would appear.
12. In the end, he came so late.
13. He was chairing for the gospel and baptism service. (love his formal wear)
14. Like him, I was very happy to see my friends got baptised. I know all of them too! :) Some are even my good friends!
15. While he was talking to others, I shot A LOT of quick look at him. He caught some of the quick look from me.. *red face* me red face. Not him of course. He was not merely talking, but talk and smile at the same time.. That kinda sight captures my heart.
16. I've got roses from two boy-friends! HAHA! No lah, two of them just plucked out from Aunty Amy's vase and give it to me because I wanted it and I've got no hands to pluck them.
17. When baba asked samuel to give the rose to the girl he likes, HE GAVE IT TO ME. I know he's kidding. So I shoot a "are-you-mad" face to him.
18. DINNER AT SWENSEN'S THOMSON PLAZA! (Of course he was there too! Or I wouldn't have gone. Cos its late and I'm hungry and it's expensiveee..)
19. I didn't really get to talk to him a lot. But I was really upset because he messaged Ruth a few days back as Ruth was sharing about it during dinner..prolly asking her out for dinner..Sighs. Why not meeeee... I want also. One steamboat dinner with him and the rest where got enough? I want one to one...one to one.. (may be not. Because I'm kinda of scared if one to one...he'd found out that I like him too easily. and obvious. Because of hormones, I may just express myself too much. So it might be too obvious. BETTER TO GO IN GROUP. and HIDE.)
20. From the dinner, I know that he's a rubbish bin. Eat whatever that people couldn't finish..
Very handy skills.
21. When taking photo, I turnt back twice, and he look at me twice. I SHOULD HAVE TURNED BACK MORE TIMESSS!!
22. Oh, he saw my laptop bag and thought I brought laptop cos he asked me why you bring a laptop. So I opened up the lappy bag and showed him that it's all piano scores. Then he nod and oh and didn't talk to me any further. (Is that what he could only ask and say to me.?... SIGHS)
23. That whole sunday could be so bad if there wasn't this night service and DINNER because my parents keep insisting me to stay in Singapore and not go to cambodia.
(Seems like I might have to wait a longer time in order for me to go for mission trip again!)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24. CHINESE NEW YEAR (3rd day!) He was there at the dinner yesterday!
i)He was the first to arrive uncle TK's house
ii) He best ah. Just dip the bread into the curry pot with all the oil on top.
But I think he saw me "filtering" the oil from the curry in mag's spoon. and probably he couldn't wait anymore so he just dip into the curry pot. Gosh, GOOD FOOD CANNOT BE WAIT MEH?
iii) I laughed the loudest when mel didn't bring the card with gold to herself and others could see whether its a gold a not!
iv) Den I myself when putting back the card with gold to the original position, I accidentally flipped the card and everybody knows where the gold is! THERE GOES THE SABOTEUR..
v) He grinned to me when he left the saboteur game. Awws, I realised he kept shooting glance at me when playing the game. Haha. Awesommmeeee...
vi) He purposely breathe out through his mouth to maggie after having the durian cake, knowing that mag hates durian smell! HAHA! I laughed with the fork still in my mouth when he does that. So bad. ;D
Today, I was completely worned out after getting out of my bed. Firstly, I dreamt that he proposed to another girl right in front of me whether she wanted to be his girlfriend. And he held her hands. And he kissed her right in front of me. That dream seriously sucks. It's worse than a crazy and violent and blood filled nightmare. I could feel the jealousy and bitterness in that dream. I manipulated in such a way that time will go back and he realised that i'm the one who belongs to him. But before it could be done so...its time to wake up and go for worship.
He wasn't sitting too far away from me during worship. But I didn't get to talk to him for the whole day whereas my mum did get to talk to him and gave him ang pao. :) I love my mum for doing that. Seriously. hahaha. :D Oh, about the sunday school video thinggy...mag and els were so not co operative. Mag keep giving suggestions like, " can ys say "thank" and jamie say " you" and go? Or I can write down the message and you read it out. Just take you can already. Sighs. WHY?! Els keep nagging us to hurry. We need to get things done and she can go if she could quickly think of what to say.
They just don't understand that it's urgent and it's hard to get people down. Jet is kind enough to stay lil while to take this video for us. So we shouldn't keep postponing and drag things.
Came back home and continued to reason with my mum about the cambodia trip. At last, she managed to hear my reasons and I managed to hear her reasons about not letting me go to cambodia. It's kind of acceptable. I know everything could be done before that trip, and I had already thought through my mistakes about being so busy and just being busier than ever for the past 3 months. But probably, it wasn't sufficient enough. I felt better after crying and told myself and consoled myself that probably God can bless me more than what I think He could bless if only I had live a life more pleasing to Him and being sanctified and holy so that He could use me.
It was still quite a heart wretching experience...although its a lesson in disguise.
(Just in case you readers still don't get it...I can't go cambodia. All because of the close door.)
Bye readers! [:
My day hasn't been really that awesome.
Oh well... Think positively yea Shi Ting (oh, I just love talking to myself. Like how I express it in the blog)
Recently during weekends, I do have a lot of chance to spend more time with him.
1. During Saturdays, he would come.
2. I had dinner after YP and he's there.
3. He heard from Ruth about my silly swimming experience that made the whole table laughed like mad. (Ok, I admit I did most of the laughing.)
4. When we had RFYL meeting, just before that...he was at the meeting room too. Playing titi and bridge. I didn't play with them because Titus don't let me play. And they only needed 4 played. so well. But when he was saying bye...and he look straight into my face..and the light that makes his eyes look glittery..does touched my heart and made it run fast. (so charminggg..glee!)
5. He came for the games day the following saturday.
6. I'm quite thankful for the games (special thanks to mervin) because of those games, I know..
i) He wanted to have 3 kids
ii) He want girls to go army
iii) He doesn't do house chores when he's young
iv) He uses colgate toothpaste! :O same same!
And also because of the games...
7. He held my wrist for the first time! Oh yea...
I don't know whether I'm the one who's shaking or he's the one who can't hold my wrist properly..because...MY WRIST WAS SHAKING TOO BADLY! (I was kinda afraid that he could feel my rapid pulse. But he seems quite okay. But when I went back to sit down. My legs are like jelly...as though I just went for a roller coaster ride..and I'm shell-shock.)
8. I get to play my favourite card games with the rest (although he didn't play..but well.)
Jumbo speed and ugly dolls! woo hoo! so fun! :)
9. BBQ TIME! He was there at the BBQ too! The food was awesome. The talk was challenging me to discover my gifts if I have not done so. I've really tried to find and discover what gifts I had. But I found none. Probably I feel that this kind of thing...others could see it better.
10. The next day, I was stucked in church the whole day, just like the previous sunday. Because I need to meet up with the SS graduates to come out with the presentation. It ended quite fast.
11. I was playing my grade 8 pieces and some of my most outstanding pieces hoping that he would appear.
12. In the end, he came so late.
13. He was chairing for the gospel and baptism service. (love his formal wear)
14. Like him, I was very happy to see my friends got baptised. I know all of them too! :) Some are even my good friends!
15. While he was talking to others, I shot A LOT of quick look at him. He caught some of the quick look from me.. *red face* me red face. Not him of course. He was not merely talking, but talk and smile at the same time.. That kinda sight captures my heart.
16. I've got roses from two boy-friends! HAHA! No lah, two of them just plucked out from Aunty Amy's vase and give it to me because I wanted it and I've got no hands to pluck them.
17. When baba asked samuel to give the rose to the girl he likes, HE GAVE IT TO ME. I know he's kidding. So I shoot a "are-you-mad" face to him.
18. DINNER AT SWENSEN'S THOMSON PLAZA! (Of course he was there too! Or I wouldn't have gone. Cos its late and I'm hungry and it's expensiveee..)
19. I didn't really get to talk to him a lot. But I was really upset because he messaged Ruth a few days back as Ruth was sharing about it during dinner..prolly asking her out for dinner..Sighs. Why not meeeee... I want also. One steamboat dinner with him and the rest where got enough? I want one to one...one to one.. (may be not. Because I'm kinda of scared if one to one...he'd found out that I like him too easily. and obvious. Because of hormones, I may just express myself too much. So it might be too obvious. BETTER TO GO IN GROUP. and HIDE.)
20. From the dinner, I know that he's a rubbish bin. Eat whatever that people couldn't finish..
Very handy skills.
21. When taking photo, I turnt back twice, and he look at me twice. I SHOULD HAVE TURNED BACK MORE TIMESSS!!
22. Oh, he saw my laptop bag and thought I brought laptop cos he asked me why you bring a laptop. So I opened up the lappy bag and showed him that it's all piano scores. Then he nod and oh and didn't talk to me any further. (Is that what he could only ask and say to me.?... SIGHS)
23. That whole sunday could be so bad if there wasn't this night service and DINNER because my parents keep insisting me to stay in Singapore and not go to cambodia.
(Seems like I might have to wait a longer time in order for me to go for mission trip again!)
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24. CHINESE NEW YEAR (3rd day!) He was there at the dinner yesterday!
i)He was the first to arrive uncle TK's house
ii) He best ah. Just dip the bread into the curry pot with all the oil on top.
But I think he saw me "filtering" the oil from the curry in mag's spoon. and probably he couldn't wait anymore so he just dip into the curry pot. Gosh, GOOD FOOD CANNOT BE WAIT MEH?
iii) I laughed the loudest when mel didn't bring the card with gold to herself and others could see whether its a gold a not!
iv) Den I myself when putting back the card with gold to the original position, I accidentally flipped the card and everybody knows where the gold is! THERE GOES THE SABOTEUR..
v) He grinned to me when he left the saboteur game. Awws, I realised he kept shooting glance at me when playing the game. Haha. Awesommmeeee...
vi) He purposely breathe out through his mouth to maggie after having the durian cake, knowing that mag hates durian smell! HAHA! I laughed with the fork still in my mouth when he does that. So bad. ;D
Today, I was completely worned out after getting out of my bed. Firstly, I dreamt that he proposed to another girl right in front of me whether she wanted to be his girlfriend. And he held her hands. And he kissed her right in front of me. That dream seriously sucks. It's worse than a crazy and violent and blood filled nightmare. I could feel the jealousy and bitterness in that dream. I manipulated in such a way that time will go back and he realised that i'm the one who belongs to him. But before it could be done so...its time to wake up and go for worship.
He wasn't sitting too far away from me during worship. But I didn't get to talk to him for the whole day whereas my mum did get to talk to him and gave him ang pao. :) I love my mum for doing that. Seriously. hahaha. :D Oh, about the sunday school video thinggy...mag and els were so not co operative. Mag keep giving suggestions like, " can ys say "thank" and jamie say " you" and go? Or I can write down the message and you read it out. Just take you can already. Sighs. WHY?! Els keep nagging us to hurry. We need to get things done and she can go if she could quickly think of what to say.
They just don't understand that it's urgent and it's hard to get people down. Jet is kind enough to stay lil while to take this video for us. So we shouldn't keep postponing and drag things.
Came back home and continued to reason with my mum about the cambodia trip. At last, she managed to hear my reasons and I managed to hear her reasons about not letting me go to cambodia. It's kind of acceptable. I know everything could be done before that trip, and I had already thought through my mistakes about being so busy and just being busier than ever for the past 3 months. But probably, it wasn't sufficient enough. I felt better after crying and told myself and consoled myself that probably God can bless me more than what I think He could bless if only I had live a life more pleasing to Him and being sanctified and holy so that He could use me.
It was still quite a heart wretching experience...although its a lesson in disguise.
(Just in case you readers still don't get it...I can't go cambodia. All because of the close door.)
Bye readers! [:
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