Since when was the last time we've chat

After so many months, there's not a single word from him.. I felt so depressed.. Cried at night, staring into spaces in the bus.. Being lonelier each day.

It was made worse with the job that I took up 2

Mths ago. I was thinking of leaving the job and look for a less demanding job. But I'm worried that the pay will be so much lower than the current one. Anyway, I really felt that my current job is really stressful as I have to do double roles. A recept and a pharmacy technician.

Well.. All I have to say is.. I'm still waiting for you.

Ever since u left, I've been dreaming that u were back. U seems to be hiding from me and things got awkward in my dreams. But I can feel that my heart really race each time u appeared. And when I realized that it was just a dream, I'm disappointed. Looking forward for ya to be back.

Countdown: 1 month 15 days

so it does really matters

BEJEWELED MANIAC

Just as I was about to post the picture shown below, I managed to score more 1,000,000 points!!! MY NEW RECORD!
















SEE THE AMOUNT OF COINS I HAVE...
Imagine if these coins are mine in reality.

Writing down the advice from whom I love

Being a nice person and being a godly person, it's just a line apart...
He shared this during YP's leader farewell bbq night...
It feels as though he just left last night..
*fond memories*

A reflection of 2011

The end of 2011 is approaching, yet at the same time, the start of 2012 is arriving too.

This year (2011) has been a year full of emotions. Happy, mania, anxiety, worried, troubled, depressed, excitment..A year that I longed to be loved, longed to be with him, excitied about every meeting with him in an event or gathering. A year full of him, and just him alone. Right up till now, I'm still missing him a lot.. Just watched the skit we acted in YC'08, hearing him singing "And I thank you Lord". When I felt that I don't love him or don't feel bad when I don't miss or even think about him, I felt relieved. Because for many many months, or since I ever had a feeling for him, I was worried, and want this feeling to be get rid of soon. I was worried to end up like what I am now..jealous, covet, selfish ambitions etc. All has shown up this year at its peak. I've experienced so much pain, and for the thousands tears I've shed, I'm sorry. I've failed.

I wasn't expecting anytime great next year because it's going to really challenging..And I'm quite worried that I'm so poor, so slow and so unprepared. Why? I'm worried that I couldn't get into uni. I was thinking about signing on, going to army so that they can sponsor my uni education. I was also worried about my part-time or full-time job..whether to be a pharm tech or go IMCB to look out for any job vacancies. My finance are going to be really tied. And up till now, I'm worried that when he's back next year, I could hardly see him around. THIS IS MY BIGGEST WORRY AMONG THE WORRIES.

Any new year resolution? I wished for the flesh to be strong, spirit to be strong, no devil's voice, being a perfect child of God. Be a healthy babe with no tummy, less bulky thighs, and more boobs. :P I want a good health with a good looking body shape. At least when I wear clothes, it will fit perfectly. :)

Any steps or plans? I wish I can talk to God more and hear what He have to say about my life and my future. I wish I can have an evening jog everyday. Hopefully, there won't be rain when im running or before running.

Wishing all the best for next year! :) Wishing all the best for you readers too! :)

BYE READERS :]

beat my score

love bejewel-ing :D:D

ARGH!!!!

If fb was a person, I'm so gonna kill it. He replied like 5 minutes after my post and I didn't see it when I refreshed the page. and he's like offline?!?!?!?!?!?!??!! oh nevermind, at least I get to see his reply! and I'M SO GLAD HE REPLIED SOON AFTER MY POST! :DDD loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3