Dear readers
I've been struggling whether to ask him out agn..
I really think that I've been talking to him too often. After he came back from overseas, I've talked to him almost every single day. The longest record was not talking for a day and that's it. I don't wanna get myself into this trouble agn. Like falling in love with someone I don't exactly know who he is and being an overly attached obsessed person. I hate it..I'm sure he'll hate it too. I personally feel that he has no intention to further anything with me..just a girl to chill out with. Thats perhaps my karma. I've been doing to those guys who I'm not interested in and practically "used" them to chill out cos I'm bored and don't wanna stay home. Besides, cos they're guys, so most of the time, they'd offer to treat me.. And cos they're interested in me, they give a lot of attention to me..How can I possibly turn them off when they're in fact nice and not that bad looking.
So I guess, he might have the same mentality as me too.. Perhaps he alrdy has a gf now. I didn't even ask him about his love advancements.
I feel so insecure. So scared of turning him off. Fear of rejections and disappointments lined up. With this, I've decided not to ask him out nor text him agn.. I shall leave it until I can't take it or something else happen. Hopefully I can managed to convince myself to do so. Although I don't deserve it, but I still hope that he'd question on my "cold turkey" someday when he found out something is amiss. Perhaps he wouldn't even feel that something is amiss cos he couldn't care less since I mean absolutely nothing to him - which is likely going to happen.
mann..I feel so lousy :( :( I shall occupy myself with lotsa interesting activities den!
SHALL DO THAT! Or have I alrdy done that? mm, don't think that's enough to stop the urge, shall find more stuffs to do!
the dejected.
Bye readers
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