Yes, my hopes on him are vanished. Although the news didn't surprise me, but I was kinda disappointed. Or rather, it affected me greatly. I can't, but to say how much it pains me every single time..
Why do I always fall in love with those who doesn't love me? Who doesn't care about me? These characters and qualities always attracts me so much.
If only you knew I had been waiting to spend this Christmas with you since last Christmas, will it make a diff?
The answer is clearly no. It's always No.
All I can do, and can be...is to move on and still be your loyal friend. If you didn't know, I am always here for you. I missed you all the time.. Continually checking my phone, continually looking for new movies or nice restaurants/place/things/happenings to ask you out - Just continually longing to meet you (in desperation).
Since now you have found the girl whom you love, so be it. I will not hinder but will give you my utmost sincere blessings to both of you. Be loved by her. Embrace her. I hope she'll be able to love you more than I could ever give.
As for me, I really hope that I will be able to meet the One and Only man who truly loves me, and that I will be able to fall in love with one and Only. If he could actually appear to me when I turn 22. I will be more than amazed.
Hey readers, if you hadn't know.. I made a promise since I was young. To only be attached when I turnt 22. Cause I simply love the number 22. I hope by next year, this curse will be lifted from my life.. and I won't continue to be so unfortunate in love.
:)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Time flew - Dreadful moment in progress
Hi readers!
It's been about 2 months! These two months I've spent it entirely on studying and working..and unfortunately, falling sick. My health has been deteriorating...Diagnosed with illiotibial band syndrome. This IT band syndrome is common in athletes. So I guess my job nature has made me an athlete - climbing up and down the stairs, walking briskly to get things done ASAP. Oh wells.
Relationship wise? Still very unfortunate. Nothing worth mentioning at all I guess. I don't know if I should really continue to go after him till he realised that I really like him, or should I just stop cause it seems like he is still clueless and have no intention or does not like me at all.
So during these two months, I've spared myself from getting all up about him by numbing my senses with books and more lecture notes. It seems like he really doesn't care about me cause when I stopped talking to him for more than a month, he doesn't even try to catch up with me. ZERO chats.
Surely this makes me more disappointed in relationship because this has proven that I am really VERY UNFORTUNATE in love matters.
Tomorrow is my final examination and after this, I hope that I can regain back my confidence. And hopefully still have the strength to continue my pursuit :)
COME WHAT MAY.
It's been about 2 months! These two months I've spent it entirely on studying and working..and unfortunately, falling sick. My health has been deteriorating...Diagnosed with illiotibial band syndrome. This IT band syndrome is common in athletes. So I guess my job nature has made me an athlete - climbing up and down the stairs, walking briskly to get things done ASAP. Oh wells.
Relationship wise? Still very unfortunate. Nothing worth mentioning at all I guess. I don't know if I should really continue to go after him till he realised that I really like him, or should I just stop cause it seems like he is still clueless and have no intention or does not like me at all.
So during these two months, I've spared myself from getting all up about him by numbing my senses with books and more lecture notes. It seems like he really doesn't care about me cause when I stopped talking to him for more than a month, he doesn't even try to catch up with me. ZERO chats.
Surely this makes me more disappointed in relationship because this has proven that I am really VERY UNFORTUNATE in love matters.
Tomorrow is my final examination and after this, I hope that I can regain back my confidence. And hopefully still have the strength to continue my pursuit :)
COME WHAT MAY.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
the most dreadful thing approaching
Dear readers
Studies/examinations/work/projects..these dreadful things will come shortly..ALTOGETHER.
Am I prepared? I asked myself. The heart and brain both said, "No". Well, I can't seems to grasp how difficult life would be if I were to study and work at the same time. The thought of staying in Sg for another 4-5 years just destroys all the hopes I had for traveling.
I seriously can't wait for uni life to stop; yep, it haven't even started. I can't wait for these hardships to stop. I mean I just wanted to relax and chill. Having the financial freedom to get the things I want..and that's a house...followed by a home. If I am able to achieve that right now, I can die in peace.
The thing is that I've been working too hard. I gave up a lot a lot of my youth to this job. I need a break, a complete break from all the things. Like what he did. He traveled to japan alone. Do what he wants to do, go where he wants to go, that luxury of freedom, I can't seems to comprehend. Happiness seems to be long gone when I dwell in those thoughts of covet.
Yet though I felt unjust and resentful most of the times, He never fails to show His blessings. In my life, though I had many things that I didn't have like most of my friends do...but He blessed me with lots of good friends. I can't helped but to feel so loved by my friends. Tiffany, who is now gone to europe, has been the best company at all times. Her messages, her presence, her encouragement and empathy, really really made me feel that there's someone out there who cherished me, and truly cares for me.
Another friend happened to be a guy. I can't helped but to feel that he's everything to me. He certainly cares for me and was really helpful. I felt so happy and free when we head out to supper. This guy is really so nice. But yeah, I still didn't had that sort of feelings for him. Merely friends. sometimes I wished that he was somebody I like. This week, he's going to leave Sg to pursue his deg in Germany. I wanna wish him best of luck and continue to stay happy :)
Almost all of my beloved friends who can meet me up during the week are going overseas. I can't helped but to feel disappointed..and lousy. I hope, they'll keep me in their hearts. Today Kenneth jokingly said that it's kinda hard for people to forget me. Hahha I'm probably one of the most retarded girl in the world.
This month is my birthday month. I'm glad that I get to meet up with the peeps I didn't get to meet up with for months. And thats Kimmy, Nigel and Marcus.
After meeting marcus, I happened to bumped to Ryshi. He became even much more slimmer! but still, as entertaining as ever. :)
I'm blessed with friends afterall. Really glad that I've at least these people to make my life much more interesting.
Thank God, I hope you won't take my friends away. I want them to stay with me :)
Studies/examinations/work/projects..these dreadful things will come shortly..ALTOGETHER.
Am I prepared? I asked myself. The heart and brain both said, "No". Well, I can't seems to grasp how difficult life would be if I were to study and work at the same time. The thought of staying in Sg for another 4-5 years just destroys all the hopes I had for traveling.
I seriously can't wait for uni life to stop; yep, it haven't even started. I can't wait for these hardships to stop. I mean I just wanted to relax and chill. Having the financial freedom to get the things I want..and that's a house...followed by a home. If I am able to achieve that right now, I can die in peace.
The thing is that I've been working too hard. I gave up a lot a lot of my youth to this job. I need a break, a complete break from all the things. Like what he did. He traveled to japan alone. Do what he wants to do, go where he wants to go, that luxury of freedom, I can't seems to comprehend. Happiness seems to be long gone when I dwell in those thoughts of covet.
Yet though I felt unjust and resentful most of the times, He never fails to show His blessings. In my life, though I had many things that I didn't have like most of my friends do...but He blessed me with lots of good friends. I can't helped but to feel so loved by my friends. Tiffany, who is now gone to europe, has been the best company at all times. Her messages, her presence, her encouragement and empathy, really really made me feel that there's someone out there who cherished me, and truly cares for me.
Another friend happened to be a guy. I can't helped but to feel that he's everything to me. He certainly cares for me and was really helpful. I felt so happy and free when we head out to supper. This guy is really so nice. But yeah, I still didn't had that sort of feelings for him. Merely friends. sometimes I wished that he was somebody I like. This week, he's going to leave Sg to pursue his deg in Germany. I wanna wish him best of luck and continue to stay happy :)
Almost all of my beloved friends who can meet me up during the week are going overseas. I can't helped but to feel disappointed..and lousy. I hope, they'll keep me in their hearts. Today Kenneth jokingly said that it's kinda hard for people to forget me. Hahha I'm probably one of the most retarded girl in the world.
This month is my birthday month. I'm glad that I get to meet up with the peeps I didn't get to meet up with for months. And thats Kimmy, Nigel and Marcus.
After meeting marcus, I happened to bumped to Ryshi. He became even much more slimmer! but still, as entertaining as ever. :)
I'm blessed with friends afterall. Really glad that I've at least these people to make my life much more interesting.
Thank God, I hope you won't take my friends away. I want them to stay with me :)
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Something that came along while I was surfing the net
I don't say that it's true for everybody. but this author went through the same thoughts and the "what-she-would-do".
This is quoted from the thought catalogue by
"Of course there are other things I am super awkward about – like when a guy I am attracted to is near me. I can usually barely form the words, “Hello” or I play the eye-game where I stare until he looks in my direction and of course when he does, I’ll look away. Or I try to act like a super impressive human being which in my head often involves raising my voice and talking about something interesting. And I’ll be lucky if the whole ordeal doesn’t pass without me tripping over something. All of this only happens if I decide to stay within the same vicinity rather than run away; because in my head it is absolutely normal to run from being around someone you find attractive."
This is quoted from the thought catalogue by
"Of course there are other things I am super awkward about – like when a guy I am attracted to is near me. I can usually barely form the words, “Hello” or I play the eye-game where I stare until he looks in my direction and of course when he does, I’ll look away. Or I try to act like a super impressive human being which in my head often involves raising my voice and talking about something interesting. And I’ll be lucky if the whole ordeal doesn’t pass without me tripping over something. All of this only happens if I decide to stay within the same vicinity rather than run away; because in my head it is absolutely normal to run from being around someone you find attractive."
Sunday, June 30, 2013
My life mission statement
Mission Statement: Strive for excellence and make a difference while doing it with love because love endureth.
What is life when all we do is chasing after an illusive dream which would eventually fade away?
Therefore,
To God, I'll fear and obey.
To my beloved family and friends, I'll embrace them with love and care,
To the community, I'll make a difference and entrust them to the care of the Lord,
To my dear employer, I'll strive for excellence,
And finally to my one and only true love, I'll cherish you, love you more than I love myself (but of course you have to exist, cause right now, I ain't have any)
PS: WHEN I DIE, I want my tombstone to install free WiFi, so that other people will visit me more often :))
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
If you ask me if I love him, I'd lie
I do believe that boys play games and a man doesn't.
I do believe he's still a boy, not a man yet. Neither I have grown to be a woman yet.
Not seasoned, and I definitely agree that he's doing the least to get the most attraction and attention.
I've been attracted so much to this kinda type of guys. Care less, don't bother and just faking smiles to get it through. I've been so hooked up by his minimal interest in me.. I just wonder if this has ever crossed his mind.
I could only say, I am still waiting.
I do believe he's still a boy, not a man yet. Neither I have grown to be a woman yet.
Not seasoned, and I definitely agree that he's doing the least to get the most attraction and attention.
I've been attracted so much to this kinda type of guys. Care less, don't bother and just faking smiles to get it through. I've been so hooked up by his minimal interest in me.. I just wonder if this has ever crossed his mind.
I could only say, I am still waiting.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
perplexed - confused - bewildered
Hello readers
It doesn't seems to end after the DnD..
In fact two days after the DnD, we met up.
There, the forgetful dude forgot to bring the tickets.
Initially I thought he was kidding. BUT, IT WAS TRUE!
HE DIDN'T KID ME. I was secretly hoping that he was joking, but it really turns out to be true.
Another blessing in disguise I guess.. get to go catch a movie with him for the first time.
It was damm awkward to watch a movie that has intimacy scenes. The peeps in the movie theater were mostly couples and to go out with him as a friend, it's just weird. Not only watching movie..even dining out and walking around the shopping malls...are just a couple thing. It's pretty awkward. ANDDDD, I had such a headache to decide on a movie to watch..so many movies on sex and love. I just wanna watch action movie with him so it wouldn't get awkward. BUT, HE WATCHED SO MANY MOVIES ALREADY.
I really love both the DnD and the movie date. I mean, its the first time I felt that he treats me like a lady. He pulled the chair for me during DnD and did a great job as a partner. He was a funny and lil sweet dude that day. Although he merely commented that the fairy lady looks good, I just wanna disturb him. HAHA, he got sabotaged by me. Made him took a pic with the fairy lady that he thinks is pretty. :P He chats with me and laughs. Accompanied me and show me the way to the washroom. He did a great job :) The disappointing part was I didn't get to enchant him. I was really hoping that we could have a heart to heart talk during that evening..but I just let it passed. Sighs, I was all out for him that day..but I just couldn't take down my pride and put on courage to approach. I wasn't confident..he seems to treat me like a friend, with no exact interest shown.. So therefore I..I just didn't dare to confess. Anw, besides the food and games..the most exciting part was the lucky draw!!! Although I missed the lumix camera by one digit, I ended up getting the 14th place. I tot the prizes are the same for all 350 winners..BUT, it turns out that the 11th-16th winners got ipad mini! Woohoo, it's my first time that I've gotten such a good lucky prize ever :D He's my lucky star. I got lucky!
I felt really blessed these days.. Although the emotional part wasn't really well recovered, but everything in my life was made brighter when he's there with me. Not only I have off days to look forward to, I get to enjoy myself pretty much. Take a breather...relax, enjoy good scenery, good food and bioh-ing at hot girls!! haha! I really treasure and cherish those moments..I can't believe that tears are starting to well up in my eyes. After all the DOWNs, these are certainly the UPs. I really don't want these moments to pass me by.
Anw, I love the movie date was because, he was kind enough to carry my stuffs..AND...IT'S THE FIRST TIME I HEARD HIM APOLOGISED.
He said he was sorry for today. I should have punished him by making him to play badminton with me when I want to. HaHa. But I just replied that he's forgiven. How easy for him..
Finally after the movie date, we started to meet up agn for the flower dome!!! I was so excited! I imagined all the things we can do that day and....it turns out to be the predictable kind. :( I didn't manage to do a good job there I guess. ah well, we had a long walk to the flyer. Its agn...awkward..cause it turns out that there are sooo many couples and couples everywhere. ALL THE WAY FROM THE MRT STATION > DRAGONFLY BRIDGE > FLOWER DOME > OUTSIDE FLOWER DOME > DNA HELIX > FLYER. SOOOOO MANY COUPLES. Danggg.
Its too romantic alrdy. I don't likey cos he's not my bf bf bf!!!!
I suddenly got this idea in my head. cos I typed to fast and bf turns out to be fb. Fb was the "THING" for both of us..How we chat and met and sparks flew instantly. If I'd confess...I would say this, "Why I fb chat you because I want you to be the opposite of fb..which is bf." GOOD IDEA? hahaha
Anw, I jio-ed him out agn the next day for badminton. He SHOWED UP! He didn't go on MC DATE! I'm starting to believe the things that he said. I was thinking to myself why would he lie to me? I was quite taken aback when I saw SJ's profile pic. She definitely looks gorgeous and flirty. That flirtatious dress that allows her to showcase her asserts. Surely he'd drool.. He told me that he couldn't make it on wednesday..and that was the day she uploaded the picture. I tot surely he must have met her..and prolly took that pic of her.. It was only today that I realized he's not the one who took that pic of her and he prolly didn't meet her that day. Cos the photo credit was another guy which isn't his friend. I shouldn't have worried much..I should have just ask him about things I'm unsure of isn't it? Isn't that more straightforward? Well, I guess I wasn't sure of how I really felt about him. So many times, my heart says he's the right one. But there are times when I think about it, my heart says he's not the right one. I'm really confused.
WILL THERE BE A SIGN? What about this...If he's interested in me, thats the sign. If theres no signs of interest, let him go, but before letting him go, tell him how I felt about him and den let him go. cause I don't wanna have any more regrets.
Anw, the badminton date was fun. I guess I scare the shit out of him by being so rough and violent. I'm definitely a gangster to him today :/ OH WELLs.
It doesn't seems to end after the DnD..
In fact two days after the DnD, we met up.
There, the forgetful dude forgot to bring the tickets.
Initially I thought he was kidding. BUT, IT WAS TRUE!
HE DIDN'T KID ME. I was secretly hoping that he was joking, but it really turns out to be true.
Another blessing in disguise I guess.. get to go catch a movie with him for the first time.
It was damm awkward to watch a movie that has intimacy scenes. The peeps in the movie theater were mostly couples and to go out with him as a friend, it's just weird. Not only watching movie..even dining out and walking around the shopping malls...are just a couple thing. It's pretty awkward. ANDDDD, I had such a headache to decide on a movie to watch..so many movies on sex and love. I just wanna watch action movie with him so it wouldn't get awkward. BUT, HE WATCHED SO MANY MOVIES ALREADY.
I really love both the DnD and the movie date. I mean, its the first time I felt that he treats me like a lady. He pulled the chair for me during DnD and did a great job as a partner. He was a funny and lil sweet dude that day. Although he merely commented that the fairy lady looks good, I just wanna disturb him. HAHA, he got sabotaged by me. Made him took a pic with the fairy lady that he thinks is pretty. :P He chats with me and laughs. Accompanied me and show me the way to the washroom. He did a great job :) The disappointing part was I didn't get to enchant him. I was really hoping that we could have a heart to heart talk during that evening..but I just let it passed. Sighs, I was all out for him that day..but I just couldn't take down my pride and put on courage to approach. I wasn't confident..he seems to treat me like a friend, with no exact interest shown.. So therefore I..I just didn't dare to confess. Anw, besides the food and games..the most exciting part was the lucky draw!!! Although I missed the lumix camera by one digit, I ended up getting the 14th place. I tot the prizes are the same for all 350 winners..BUT, it turns out that the 11th-16th winners got ipad mini! Woohoo, it's my first time that I've gotten such a good lucky prize ever :D He's my lucky star. I got lucky!
I felt really blessed these days.. Although the emotional part wasn't really well recovered, but everything in my life was made brighter when he's there with me. Not only I have off days to look forward to, I get to enjoy myself pretty much. Take a breather...relax, enjoy good scenery, good food and bioh-ing at hot girls!! haha! I really treasure and cherish those moments..I can't believe that tears are starting to well up in my eyes. After all the DOWNs, these are certainly the UPs. I really don't want these moments to pass me by.
Anw, I love the movie date was because, he was kind enough to carry my stuffs..AND...IT'S THE FIRST TIME I HEARD HIM APOLOGISED.
He said he was sorry for today. I should have punished him by making him to play badminton with me when I want to. HaHa. But I just replied that he's forgiven. How easy for him..
Finally after the movie date, we started to meet up agn for the flower dome!!! I was so excited! I imagined all the things we can do that day and....it turns out to be the predictable kind. :( I didn't manage to do a good job there I guess. ah well, we had a long walk to the flyer. Its agn...awkward..cause it turns out that there are sooo many couples and couples everywhere. ALL THE WAY FROM THE MRT STATION > DRAGONFLY BRIDGE > FLOWER DOME > OUTSIDE FLOWER DOME > DNA HELIX > FLYER. SOOOOO MANY COUPLES. Danggg.
Its too romantic alrdy. I don't likey cos he's not my bf bf bf!!!!
I suddenly got this idea in my head. cos I typed to fast and bf turns out to be fb. Fb was the "THING" for both of us..How we chat and met and sparks flew instantly. If I'd confess...I would say this, "Why I fb chat you because I want you to be the opposite of fb..which is bf." GOOD IDEA? hahaha
Anw, I jio-ed him out agn the next day for badminton. He SHOWED UP! He didn't go on MC DATE! I'm starting to believe the things that he said. I was thinking to myself why would he lie to me? I was quite taken aback when I saw SJ's profile pic. She definitely looks gorgeous and flirty. That flirtatious dress that allows her to showcase her asserts. Surely he'd drool.. He told me that he couldn't make it on wednesday..and that was the day she uploaded the picture. I tot surely he must have met her..and prolly took that pic of her.. It was only today that I realized he's not the one who took that pic of her and he prolly didn't meet her that day. Cos the photo credit was another guy which isn't his friend. I shouldn't have worried much..I should have just ask him about things I'm unsure of isn't it? Isn't that more straightforward? Well, I guess I wasn't sure of how I really felt about him. So many times, my heart says he's the right one. But there are times when I think about it, my heart says he's not the right one. I'm really confused.
WILL THERE BE A SIGN? What about this...If he's interested in me, thats the sign. If theres no signs of interest, let him go, but before letting him go, tell him how I felt about him and den let him go. cause I don't wanna have any more regrets.
Anw, the badminton date was fun. I guess I scare the shit out of him by being so rough and violent. I'm definitely a gangster to him today :/ OH WELLs.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Yearning
Yes, we all yearned for love and to be loved.
When I walked the streets of upper thomson road and chilled out at ice cream parlors, I can't help but to notice the couples that bypassed me. Such public display of affection does makes me yearn for love much more. I can't helped but to miss and imagine how great it would be if you were mine. If we can be together and do things which we both love to do, it'd add much colors and flavors in my life. The thought keeps me excited yet disappointed. It's a mixed feeling. Maybe I've been too greedy. Maybe my mind is just too occupied with you. I know I'm just a friend to you. You won't even be close to miss me. But I really, really want you to know that I really wish you were mine. I really want to be with you. Because I loved you from the very first day.
Yearning to have our own song and story.
When I walked the streets of upper thomson road and chilled out at ice cream parlors, I can't help but to notice the couples that bypassed me. Such public display of affection does makes me yearn for love much more. I can't helped but to miss and imagine how great it would be if you were mine. If we can be together and do things which we both love to do, it'd add much colors and flavors in my life. The thought keeps me excited yet disappointed. It's a mixed feeling. Maybe I've been too greedy. Maybe my mind is just too occupied with you. I know I'm just a friend to you. You won't even be close to miss me. But I really, really want you to know that I really wish you were mine. I really want to be with you. Because I loved you from the very first day.
Yearning to have our own song and story.
Store your treasures in heaven
What has the world make us to become?
Money minded. Haters of Christ. Lovers of wealth and pursuers of charm and power.
We ought to keep this in mind. That money can't secure and grow treasures in heaven. When you die, nothing else will follow you except your soul. And so where does this soul goes to? Home for the soul?
It's Heaven. Heaven is a place where you'll meet your Creator. You'll be reconciled to the One who loves you and created you. But in order to get to this home, you'll have to believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one (not baptism, not money, not good works etc) can go to the Father, except CHRIST. He is the ONLY way. To put it bluntly, He's the ticket to heaven. You just gotta believe that He's the only ticket and possess this ticket in order to enter the gates of Heaven.
So what are these treasures in heaven? In heaven, we'll receive treasures like crowns. There are many different crowns we can receive when we obey what our Creator has to say. There's crown of righteousness and etc. Storing these crowns and treasures and last for eternity. So lets be wise, lets store these treasures and stop deluding ourselves with all sort of earthly treasures that we can't keep it for long.
What matters most is your soul. Do not believe that it'll varnish away once you die. It wouldn't happen. That brings us back to suicide. Suicide will not solve any issues, it'd only create MORE PROBLEMS.
Let's take a step back and ponder about this issue. You'll discover you'll do things greater than being the greatest and most influential guy in the world.
-Meditate. Ponder. Think-
Money minded. Haters of Christ. Lovers of wealth and pursuers of charm and power.
We ought to keep this in mind. That money can't secure and grow treasures in heaven. When you die, nothing else will follow you except your soul. And so where does this soul goes to? Home for the soul?
It's Heaven. Heaven is a place where you'll meet your Creator. You'll be reconciled to the One who loves you and created you. But in order to get to this home, you'll have to believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one (not baptism, not money, not good works etc) can go to the Father, except CHRIST. He is the ONLY way. To put it bluntly, He's the ticket to heaven. You just gotta believe that He's the only ticket and possess this ticket in order to enter the gates of Heaven.
So what are these treasures in heaven? In heaven, we'll receive treasures like crowns. There are many different crowns we can receive when we obey what our Creator has to say. There's crown of righteousness and etc. Storing these crowns and treasures and last for eternity. So lets be wise, lets store these treasures and stop deluding ourselves with all sort of earthly treasures that we can't keep it for long.
What matters most is your soul. Do not believe that it'll varnish away once you die. It wouldn't happen. That brings us back to suicide. Suicide will not solve any issues, it'd only create MORE PROBLEMS.
Let's take a step back and ponder about this issue. You'll discover you'll do things greater than being the greatest and most influential guy in the world.
-Meditate. Ponder. Think-
what makes a day counts?
What makes a day counts?
It's not about spending it with the most awesome people that I've ever hang out with, or doing things that you think it's cool. It's about getting out of your comfort zone and accomplish tasks that was all set up by the Almighty one. It could be as simple as lending a helping hand to the needy by buying 5 packs of tissue, taking a flyer from the distributor, giving up seats to the needy, helping your fellow neighbors to hold the lift, comfort and encourage your peers and etc. Because sometimes the little things can mend the biggest wound.
A day can count even when you're alone.
It's also about having the inner peace. To achieve that, you need to fulfill your own responsibilities. Be it as a child of God, of your parents or being an employee of your company. Not worrying about the things you can't change, but casting the worries to the Almighty, trusting that He's able.
Its also about committing to the day to the Almighty and thanking Him for the people, the job and the food that He has provided.
Many times in our life, we tend to rush, having selfish ambitions and thoughts that distorts our mind. As the way we behave characterizes our thoughts, people witness and judge who we are. If we keep on chasing after the illusive dreams, aren't we just a dreamer? A unsatisfied dreamer? So let's put off selfishness and adorn ourselves with the fruits of the Spirit - Kindness, gentleness, goodness etc. You'll be surprised that by doing so, you'll be satisfied and be contented - Achieving the inner peace and contentment.
It's so important to make a day count. It's so important not to waste a single day. It's just so important how each day means to us especially when you discover that there's some unfortunate people in our midst doesn't even have a day to spend.
Cherish, be strong, press on to the finishing line and make your life worth the living just because He lives.
It's not about spending it with the most awesome people that I've ever hang out with, or doing things that you think it's cool. It's about getting out of your comfort zone and accomplish tasks that was all set up by the Almighty one. It could be as simple as lending a helping hand to the needy by buying 5 packs of tissue, taking a flyer from the distributor, giving up seats to the needy, helping your fellow neighbors to hold the lift, comfort and encourage your peers and etc. Because sometimes the little things can mend the biggest wound.
A day can count even when you're alone.
It's also about having the inner peace. To achieve that, you need to fulfill your own responsibilities. Be it as a child of God, of your parents or being an employee of your company. Not worrying about the things you can't change, but casting the worries to the Almighty, trusting that He's able.
Its also about committing to the day to the Almighty and thanking Him for the people, the job and the food that He has provided.
Many times in our life, we tend to rush, having selfish ambitions and thoughts that distorts our mind. As the way we behave characterizes our thoughts, people witness and judge who we are. If we keep on chasing after the illusive dreams, aren't we just a dreamer? A unsatisfied dreamer? So let's put off selfishness and adorn ourselves with the fruits of the Spirit - Kindness, gentleness, goodness etc. You'll be surprised that by doing so, you'll be satisfied and be contented - Achieving the inner peace and contentment.
It's so important to make a day count. It's so important not to waste a single day. It's just so important how each day means to us especially when you discover that there's some unfortunate people in our midst doesn't even have a day to spend.
Cherish, be strong, press on to the finishing line and make your life worth the living just because He lives.
back to where I am
The pleasures that I've found, didn't satisfy.
It leaves me just as wanting as before I sought.
It leaves me just as wanting as before I sought.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
I'm getting tired
I'm getting tired. It's not going anywhere. I somehow knows that he's not the one. But why do I feel so empty? Im really hoping to see that somehow it'll turns out right. But it's all my wishful thinking. I don't know if hes speaking the truth. I'm so worried abt him, abt his back pain. But why do I feel as though he's trying to give excuses? Prolly this isn't the first time. I'm tired of asking him out. I really do. Perhaps after the DnD, I'll just go cold turkey on him and nvr meet him agn.
Trolling at Chinatown
Yes readers, in the end my courage spurred. I've managed to have a second date! Congrats? Well, u don't say.
It was pleasant to be there earlier den him. Get to look at myself n brush up a little. It was disappointing that I didn't bumped to him in the train since we're taking the same route to our fav place. I still have to walk around and hunt for him.
Oh wells, it's a super hot and sunny day. We started off walking to the wrong direction. The whole day I kept making him walked to the wrong place. HAHA actually it's a blessing in disguise. I can spend more with him this way.
The beef noodles wasn't up to his expectation. So he was rather disappointed. I seriously felt that it was nice when I had it first with my parents. I can't helped but to rmb his eyes staring at me while I was muttering school stuffs away. THAT LOOK, stayed in my mind till now.
I should give him eye contact too. Guess I've been avoid eye contact too much. Perhaps I'm afraid that if he saw what I see, he can tell it all.
We walked along the streets of Chinatown, heading towards ah balling. He was keen on getting me a learning chopsticks. Well cos he found out that I didn't hold the chopsticks correctly and ya. Angry bird learning chopstick was cute. I said no when he asked, but I was hoping he will just buy it. Haha. Anw i think he tot that the learning chopsticks are overpriced. Nvm, I am such a complicated girl. Since when did I became liddat? Anw, he saw a head massager and asked me to come closer to him. I was like giving the what-are-u-trying-to-do look? Anw he just use that head massager to massage my tiny brainless head. It was so shiok! Haha den he saw some nice pocket watch and asked for the price. Heres the trolling part - the lady said its 18bucks. He said it was ex. Den she asked how much does he wants? Name a price. He said 5bucks!!!!!! What the shit hahahaha. The lady's face turnt black like thunderstorm heh!!! Lol!!!!
At Ahballing- There, I was a bull in a china shop - spilled some peanut soup on my bag and he goes, "aiyohhh..." (think he mentioned useless too). He spotted a girl wearing an M&M shirt and said that the shirt was screwed up. Well, it said something like Only I can satisfy your pleasure. It sounds really wrong haha
We became quiet. And there was many pauses of awkward silences. I was hoping that I can say something, but I'm super duper mega afraid. So I didn't say anything and he tried to hurry me to quickly finish my bowl of dessert.
We went hunting for my diamond eggtarts. And I made him walked the whole street to find that stupid shop. In the end I got the place wrong. Instead of heading left, we shld have headed right. So there agn, a blessing in disguise. I get to know where's the place he does his spects. :) he tried to reveal more stuffs abt himself.. But the whole day I felt that I'm so quiet agn.
Well, it ended that both of us took different direction. I was a bit upset that he wasn't interested to know more about me and my past. But I guess he must have felt why I don't look like I care abt his past too. I don't know how to break this wall or ice between us. It's not getting anywhere.
He's not what I wanted isn't it? Is he? Is he not?
It was pleasant to be there earlier den him. Get to look at myself n brush up a little. It was disappointing that I didn't bumped to him in the train since we're taking the same route to our fav place. I still have to walk around and hunt for him.
Oh wells, it's a super hot and sunny day. We started off walking to the wrong direction. The whole day I kept making him walked to the wrong place. HAHA actually it's a blessing in disguise. I can spend more with him this way.
The beef noodles wasn't up to his expectation. So he was rather disappointed. I seriously felt that it was nice when I had it first with my parents. I can't helped but to rmb his eyes staring at me while I was muttering school stuffs away. THAT LOOK, stayed in my mind till now.
I should give him eye contact too. Guess I've been avoid eye contact too much. Perhaps I'm afraid that if he saw what I see, he can tell it all.
We walked along the streets of Chinatown, heading towards ah balling. He was keen on getting me a learning chopsticks. Well cos he found out that I didn't hold the chopsticks correctly and ya. Angry bird learning chopstick was cute. I said no when he asked, but I was hoping he will just buy it. Haha. Anw i think he tot that the learning chopsticks are overpriced. Nvm, I am such a complicated girl. Since when did I became liddat? Anw, he saw a head massager and asked me to come closer to him. I was like giving the what-are-u-trying-to-do look? Anw he just use that head massager to massage my tiny brainless head. It was so shiok! Haha den he saw some nice pocket watch and asked for the price. Heres the trolling part - the lady said its 18bucks. He said it was ex. Den she asked how much does he wants? Name a price. He said 5bucks!!!!!! What the shit hahahaha. The lady's face turnt black like thunderstorm heh!!! Lol!!!!
At Ahballing- There, I was a bull in a china shop - spilled some peanut soup on my bag and he goes, "aiyohhh..." (think he mentioned useless too). He spotted a girl wearing an M&M shirt and said that the shirt was screwed up. Well, it said something like Only I can satisfy your pleasure. It sounds really wrong haha
We became quiet. And there was many pauses of awkward silences. I was hoping that I can say something, but I'm super duper mega afraid. So I didn't say anything and he tried to hurry me to quickly finish my bowl of dessert.
We went hunting for my diamond eggtarts. And I made him walked the whole street to find that stupid shop. In the end I got the place wrong. Instead of heading left, we shld have headed right. So there agn, a blessing in disguise. I get to know where's the place he does his spects. :) he tried to reveal more stuffs abt himself.. But the whole day I felt that I'm so quiet agn.
Well, it ended that both of us took different direction. I was a bit upset that he wasn't interested to know more about me and my past. But I guess he must have felt why I don't look like I care abt his past too. I don't know how to break this wall or ice between us. It's not getting anywhere.
He's not what I wanted isn't it? Is he? Is he not?
Monday, February 25, 2013
the FB chat ups and downs with him
And so I wonder if you knew, when u sent me messages, my eyes would be wide opened even if it's 3AM at night.
And I also wonder if my text made you laugh hard :)
I'll go.. "Oh, its okay."
what happened?
On 24 Feb 13, I've decided to send a sarcastic text to him for not replying my text for almost a week.
He realized that I was angry. I'm like...hate fighting or being angry with him..
And I really wish he knew the reason why I stopped texting him for that whole of 6 days.
= cold turkey mood "ON"=
He realized that I was angry. I'm like...hate fighting or being angry with him..
And I really wish he knew the reason why I stopped texting him for that whole of 6 days.
= cold turkey mood "ON"=
I wonder if you knew
I miss you so much. I'm missing your voice, your smile, missing what could have been, but most of all MISSING YOU.
I can't help, nor can I stop thinking about you.
Your absence, your distant and your coldness, breaks and tore my heart.
I felt so lousy. I thought I could never feel so weak because I've experienced the worse.
It creeps me...that the worse is yet to come.
I feel like I'm digging my own grave.
Telling myself that I can do it. Trust that I believe in myself. That's that stupidest thing ever.
I thought I could gain your attention and slowly win your love.
I thought I can manage through studies and work.
But the fear creeps through my mind...
The lyrics of the song came into my mind..
I can always relate Taylor's song to my life story.
To Taylor: You played a great part in life's journey. The songs you wrote and sang, touches every part of my memories. Like the song You belong with me, I can relate it when I'm always standing by his side, yet he failed to realized that I'm the one. Like the song Haunted, I kept singing "C'mon, C'mon! don't leave me like this. I thought I had you figured it out..Something's gone terribly wrong..You're all I wanted!..." in my mind when he's going to leave Sg. And when he's overseas, I kept singing the song superman.."And I watched superman fly away, come back I'll be with you someday. I'll be right here on the ground..Till you come back down." I also sang enchanted, because I like the phrase that goes "Please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you." When he's back in Sg, everything that I hope that it wouldn't happen, happened. That's when I kept singing white horse.."that I'm not your princess, this isn't a fairytale. I'm not the one who you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell..this isn't hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer."
Now I've moved on..and this new "him"...
He's like the guy Taylor sings in I Knew You Were Trouble.
Although he's not a chao ah beng..but he's couldn't care less attitude..The mean guy..yet is able to smile like an angel. I mean how? Totally fits in to the song.
Where it says,
"I guess you didn't care
And I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard
You took a step back
Without me, without me, without me"
And
"When your saddest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me or her or anyone or anything."
So now I'm really lying on the cold hard ground..I really am.
Please tell me that you rmb our date and that you rmb what you've agreed on.
Please tell me that you aren't having a fling with another girl.
Please let that sweet dream that I dreamt of come true.
I felt so lovestrucked in the dream.
In the dream, you love me. You gave me a box of gifts that you made.
A handicraft photoframe magnet. The bottle caps you collected that mean something between us. A imitation of a branded Agnes B red glossy wallet.
Your presence in my church and admiration when I played the piano. That playful smile and message that I dreamt you've sent.
It's all so wonderful. I really hope this can be true.
I missed you more than ever after the dream. You said, "can you not dream of me?" I can only reply in my head...that I wish I wouldn't have to. Because dreaming of you makes me yearn for love more. It makes me wanna own you. And because I couldn't, it hurts. Really hurts.
So please...may the sweet dream end. May reality be sweet.
I can't deny that I'm actually waiting for you. I AM WAITING.
Please don't keep me waiting. Please, tell me that you care.
Yeah, I'm single because I'm waiting for this amazing person to enter into my life. So really, please don't keep me waiting Mr broccoli.
I can't help, nor can I stop thinking about you.
Your absence, your distant and your coldness, breaks and tore my heart.
I felt so lousy. I thought I could never feel so weak because I've experienced the worse.
It creeps me...that the worse is yet to come.
I feel like I'm digging my own grave.
Telling myself that I can do it. Trust that I believe in myself. That's that stupidest thing ever.
I thought I could gain your attention and slowly win your love.
I thought I can manage through studies and work.
But the fear creeps through my mind...
The lyrics of the song came into my mind..
I can always relate Taylor's song to my life story.
To Taylor: You played a great part in life's journey. The songs you wrote and sang, touches every part of my memories. Like the song You belong with me, I can relate it when I'm always standing by his side, yet he failed to realized that I'm the one. Like the song Haunted, I kept singing "C'mon, C'mon! don't leave me like this. I thought I had you figured it out..Something's gone terribly wrong..You're all I wanted!..." in my mind when he's going to leave Sg. And when he's overseas, I kept singing the song superman.."And I watched superman fly away, come back I'll be with you someday. I'll be right here on the ground..Till you come back down." I also sang enchanted, because I like the phrase that goes "Please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you." When he's back in Sg, everything that I hope that it wouldn't happen, happened. That's when I kept singing white horse.."that I'm not your princess, this isn't a fairytale. I'm not the one who you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell..this isn't hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer."
Now I've moved on..and this new "him"...
He's like the guy Taylor sings in I Knew You Were Trouble.
Although he's not a chao ah beng..but he's couldn't care less attitude..The mean guy..yet is able to smile like an angel. I mean how? Totally fits in to the song.
Where it says,
"I guess you didn't care
And I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard
You took a step back
Without me, without me, without me"
And
"When your saddest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me or her or anyone or anything."
So now I'm really lying on the cold hard ground..I really am.
Please tell me that you rmb our date and that you rmb what you've agreed on.
Please tell me that you aren't having a fling with another girl.
Please let that sweet dream that I dreamt of come true.
I felt so lovestrucked in the dream.
In the dream, you love me. You gave me a box of gifts that you made.
A handicraft photoframe magnet. The bottle caps you collected that mean something between us. A imitation of a branded Agnes B red glossy wallet.
Your presence in my church and admiration when I played the piano. That playful smile and message that I dreamt you've sent.
It's all so wonderful. I really hope this can be true.
I missed you more than ever after the dream. You said, "can you not dream of me?" I can only reply in my head...that I wish I wouldn't have to. Because dreaming of you makes me yearn for love more. It makes me wanna own you. And because I couldn't, it hurts. Really hurts.
So please...may the sweet dream end. May reality be sweet.
I can't deny that I'm actually waiting for you. I AM WAITING.
Please don't keep me waiting. Please, tell me that you care.
Yeah, I'm single because I'm waiting for this amazing person to enter into my life. So really, please don't keep me waiting Mr broccoli.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
