A little not too strong girl

Hey readers!

Kinda of slacking this week cos I havent started working.

Next week den start :) Gosh! I felt really upset about my school's schedule. I can't go for ABCamp! It's during my exam period?!?!? Can't even skip school thinking that I still can do my revision there in camp.

It is possible because the camp is in a resort and there's wireless because maggie gona let me use.

So yes...everything is possible..it just need me to get out of school.

Well..this is really a super duper bad news! :( Further bad news that when I scrolled up and down the Godbook that he has created for the church event, I wasn't even on the guest list. He remembered to invite EVERYBODY except me. MEEE!!! MEEE!! HOW CAN HE MISS OUT ME?!? okay. Nvm den. I'd be going even if he doesn't invite anw. But I was really upset. I've seen the guest list and all the people whom I don't usually see in church was even in the guest list... I don't know why I've cried after that..probably I've felt so insignificant in his life.

Not even someone that he remember to invite for a workshop..what more he'll remember me when he's out in UK afterwards? I'd be totally forgotten..

Why is it that I'm shedding tears now?? Idiot me..

Anw.. like I've said or rather expected, maggie is smart. Obviously she gets a lil hint about my interest in him when I start to talk to her about him during ushering and other times. But she didn't get it 100% correct...like on the dot cos she tot that I might have a crush on tim (ben's buddy). She had no idea which one I like. So I've asked her which one she thinks I'll like..She said prolly more of ben. Hahaha. So I've asked her why and she said cos I did more things for him like the birthday card thinggy.

So I was like okayy...I told her I did it cos he's leaving to UK soon. Wanted to give him something because i've never gave him anything personally. Only passed him things that my bro wanted to give him nia. So..she's like the first one to know about my darkest secret..kept from all peeps who knows ben except my family members. I hope she won't brag it out...I trust that she'd remain silent..if not, I wouldn't have told her the truth.

Because she is my longest friend in my life (even before yin san) that still stay in contact and close together. I think she'd know my intention of why I didn't tell anyone. She continued to say about ben is really good..and rare. When she said that I was like thinking to myself, "mmm...u've know him quite well and he'd left good impression uh? Maybe to be honest, you like him too isn't it?" Well, he's really a catch.

Just hope that the secret wouldn't be out further. Right..anw...I'm not crying already and I'm going to sleep now. He better be far far away in my dreams mann.. Don't want to see him or even his shadows in my dream...

So..
BYE READERS!