Pure stupidity

Keep Smiling, Just keep on Smiling
Keep Laughing, Just keep on Laughing
Stay happy, Just keep on staying happy.
Can't I, oh why can't I...

Many things happened during weekends, mainly cause I had experienced a lot more pain and a lot more fun and also managed to find out a lot of things unknowingly.

The week has been just so special in such a way that I'm having a lot of mixed feelings.
The more time I get to meet up with him(also with the rest), the more things I noticed, the more things I heard, and the more disappointed I've got.

It's made worse by how my mum totally ignored me when I speak to her about the trip to cambodia.
I'm not going just because he's going. He's not even in the part of the reasons that I'm going. Its just a bonus that he's going.
I've been wanting to see the work at cambodia, get to know the missionaries there and hope that I can do something meaningful for them which is in this case, to paint walls. What's more in this trip, I'll be able to know a few jap people from other assemblies and have a good time of fellowship with them and get their contacts to follow up.

I really don't like the way I can't seek understanding from my family members with regards to this matter. I know that they doesn't like the way I handle things last year because that's my FIRST time in my life I'm handling so many many work and got so hectic.
I had exams to prepare and papers to sit for,
Piano to practice and lessons to attend,
Run for your life meetings and tasks to be done asap,
Laptop broke down so I had to go repair it,
Church meetings to attend,
Replug concert preparations.

I was just too busy and I know it's my fault that I didn't stay home and think about my parents and show more care and concern to them. As much as I wanted, I also would like to stay home and spend quality time with them. Do what I can to help them in the house chores and practice my piano as much as I could because my mum is very concern with that as the fees are really ex.

I know that it's my fault and I really do understand that most of the time, I think about myself more than I think of them. Can't they just give me more time and chance?