HEY READERS!
Frankly speaking, I think that having a retreat is much more better than going on a mission trip when I'm spiritually drained out. I felt that retreat allows me to withdraw myself from doing the normal "boring" stuffs like fb-ing and bejewel-ing and provides me a room to reflect on my walk with God, and to set me thinking on purifying my desires, letting God's desires to be my desires.
Whereas for a misson trip, I have so many things to do and I gradually get tired out and worned out. There's an obligation to want to spend time with God. Mission trip allowed me to see God's handiwork in His creation and how He has blessed the work there, experience something indifferent. But personally, there wasn't much gain for my spiritual walk. It's overloading due to tight schedule and traveling tired me out pretty much.
To be brutally honest with myself, I've all the desires that the world have. Desiring to posses tangeable things such as branded goods, cute accessories or clothes, and even desiring to posses a relationship. I'm sure everybody wants to have a person to lean on, and sometimes a gentle touch to feel secured. But all these things will pass away. Naked will I come to Earth, and naked will I depart. There's really nothing that I can bring to heaven. Only what's done for Christ will last.
There's this so called joke about this man who bring all his gold bars to heaven. And when God sees it, He said,"Why do you bring a pavement to heaven?" HAHAHA! Having riches is nothing.
From the retreat, I've managed to sort out my desires and priorities better..still struggling..but much better. I realised that my hand is still holding on to something I deemed as precious, unwilling to open it up to let God hold my hand and filled it with eternal things. I've actually missing out a lot of things that God wanted to give me. *tears rising up* So foolish...
Also from the retreat, I realised that I have to intentionally and deliberately put away the cares, the worries, the to-do list, and just, wanna spend time with God. Solitude...something I have to learn. Sometimes desiring to want to spend time with God should not come only at convienent places like go worship then start to commit myself etc. It really requires me to stop my to-do list and just desire to want to talk to Him like a girl who's in relationship with a guy and pines to want to talk to him every moment. That should be like the attitude.
I realised that some girls wanna stick with a guy who's not upright and all..and despite all those plentiful flaws, they still would want to stick with that guy..because she knows that she's wanted, she knows that she's important to that guy, she knows that she means all the whole world to him. But I realised that we as human, are all God's creation, each of us are made differently, ALL ARE PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT. ALL are important, valuable and significant because He loves us. When I thought that I'm so important and significant, I felt that this is something I can hold on to especially I start to get depressed and dejected, knowing that I'm no way significant in Ben's heart and I take no special place there. It sort of rejuvenates me and tried to let me think that it's not worth to give all my love to someone that does not love me at all..
Yes, this is what I've thought about. and thanks for reading it through! :))
BYE READERS!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
just thinking
Hey readers! My work was horrendous and super hectic. Well, perhaps I will let my manager know that i'll not be working there after sunday though I still wana work to save up some money. But well, I think I shouldn't work there anymore and I should go find other jobs. WHY?
1. Mainly because I don't enjoy working there. My colleagues age gap were too far and it's hard to blend in. Furthermore, most of them are thai. So it's hard to catch what they're talking about sometimes.
2. Expect you to know how to do everything. I said that cause they didn't teach me how to do certain things when I've asked them how to. And most of the time, I'll have to try things out myself first. If I do well, I'll pass and receive no further comments. If I happened to press certain things wrongly and place things wrongly or the way I handle with the rice isn't nice, they'd be upset and den teach me how to do it right.
3. It's not easy serving, washing dishes, taking orders, handling rice, cooking rice, calculating and voiding receipts, cleaning up the whole restaurant which is small but enough to drain off all my energy.
4. there's this guy that would stalked girls home. I've no intention to carry on even when there's still motivation for me to still wants to carry on because of money. But the thing is, I really don't enjoy it as much as I want to. So, I've decided to quit.
IT'S really a tiring and flustering job. Many things happened and things that I've realised today...But I would like to thank God first before talking about all the things that happened.
Seriously, I had to work 9 hours consecutively for two days and the next two days, I've to work for 10 hours. So imagine...how sore and heavy were my legs..and how tiring it was to go through all that when I didn't work for almost 1 year already..and didn't do anything strenous during the hols.
After receiving the invitations from timo, I felt really happy!! he invited me to go USS!! At first when I heard from maggie that timo asked whtr I can a not, I was like..nononono!! but I can take a day off!! and I thought ben would be joining us. haha. den..after I asked timo, he says only got him and jeremy going...den a sudden rush of disappoint came in. But I pretended to be okay..anw, I still would want to go despite ben not going because uss is just too fun and nice!! it cannot be missed! So I've asked my mum and my mum asked me to ask my bro can a not cos he has gt 75dollar voucher to spend it on resorts world.
SUPER HAPPY WHEN TIMO SAYS, "OKAY SURE!!! WE CAN ALL GO ON FRIDAY!!"
wooohooo!! and my mum agreed and soo...
Universal Studio aka USS in short, HERE I COME! :D
It was crazy waking up earlier den usual. And it was even crazier to catch up with my brother cos he's walking too fast ahead of me and he climbed the stairs instead of taking escalator and also insisted to take the circle line den change to purple line to get to habourfront so in the end, the train got jammed at the circle line and it took us 10-15 mins later for the next train to arrive.
GOSH.
The MOST CRAZIEST THING IS WAD YOU KNOW... TO TAKE 3 ROLLER COASTER RIDES CONSECUTIVELY...in the MORNING, when I was ALL LETHARGIC. and it just so happened that the first ride is the MOSTTTTT SCARIEST RIDE when I thought it would be slightly better den the cyclone one. BUT IT'S NOT THAT CASE. The first drop makes me want to cry..and I seriously hope the ride would faster end if not I'd just die.
And it's super uncomfortable to keep feeling the free fall..Anyway, I get to talked to mag in the air. I said, "I THINK WE'RE GOING TO DROP." and she replied, "yeah I know!! we are!"
So...after taking the human ride, I was feared and shook so badly, hesistating to take the cyclone ride when I saw the warning notice that says it has 5 up-side down turns! So, I was saying to mag and jeremy, One, not enough.. Two, not enough.. Three, err...maybe also not enough... Four, enough and maybe... Five, OKAY! NO MORE!! THATS SUPER ENOUGH. And me and mag was like deciding on what to say while we're flying in the air...so we decided to say," GOD SAVE ME!" and after the ride...we'd want to say, "AMEN!" haha. Den in the end we didn't say anything cos I was screaming all times..It's just so shiok mann. I love the turns. Only the dropping and accelerations makes me felt so helpless like dying. So compared to the human ride, the cyclone one is slightly better. More relaxed. haha :D
Next was the dumb mummy backward motion ride at certain times. Which I think...no kick. Queing up for the rapids adventure was crazy. It took us 2 and a half hrs to take that 2-3 minutes ride. and the slope wasn't that steep. HAHAHA! I didn't get wet as much as the rest. in the end, I myself who brought 3 ponchos and 1 umbrella didn't get wet..In fact, I was the driest. hahhaa!! SEE, the outcome of not wearing ponchos lah people. Timo was funny. He said, "I wasn't scared taking this ride. I was only scared because I scared to get wet." LOL!!!!! Far far away, shrek 4D shows are the best.. But I can't figure out how the spiders effects can came out so real. Among so many things, I realised who timo likes and it's so complicated.
Anw, I gota go sleep now
BYE READERS
1. Mainly because I don't enjoy working there. My colleagues age gap were too far and it's hard to blend in. Furthermore, most of them are thai. So it's hard to catch what they're talking about sometimes.
2. Expect you to know how to do everything. I said that cause they didn't teach me how to do certain things when I've asked them how to. And most of the time, I'll have to try things out myself first. If I do well, I'll pass and receive no further comments. If I happened to press certain things wrongly and place things wrongly or the way I handle with the rice isn't nice, they'd be upset and den teach me how to do it right.
3. It's not easy serving, washing dishes, taking orders, handling rice, cooking rice, calculating and voiding receipts, cleaning up the whole restaurant which is small but enough to drain off all my energy.
4. there's this guy that would stalked girls home. I've no intention to carry on even when there's still motivation for me to still wants to carry on because of money. But the thing is, I really don't enjoy it as much as I want to. So, I've decided to quit.
IT'S really a tiring and flustering job. Many things happened and things that I've realised today...But I would like to thank God first before talking about all the things that happened.
Seriously, I had to work 9 hours consecutively for two days and the next two days, I've to work for 10 hours. So imagine...how sore and heavy were my legs..and how tiring it was to go through all that when I didn't work for almost 1 year already..and didn't do anything strenous during the hols.
After receiving the invitations from timo, I felt really happy!! he invited me to go USS!! At first when I heard from maggie that timo asked whtr I can a not, I was like..nononono!! but I can take a day off!! and I thought ben would be joining us. haha. den..after I asked timo, he says only got him and jeremy going...den a sudden rush of disappoint came in. But I pretended to be okay..anw, I still would want to go despite ben not going because uss is just too fun and nice!! it cannot be missed! So I've asked my mum and my mum asked me to ask my bro can a not cos he has gt 75dollar voucher to spend it on resorts world.
SUPER HAPPY WHEN TIMO SAYS, "OKAY SURE!!! WE CAN ALL GO ON FRIDAY!!"
wooohooo!! and my mum agreed and soo...
Universal Studio aka USS in short, HERE I COME! :D
It was crazy waking up earlier den usual. And it was even crazier to catch up with my brother cos he's walking too fast ahead of me and he climbed the stairs instead of taking escalator and also insisted to take the circle line den change to purple line to get to habourfront so in the end, the train got jammed at the circle line and it took us 10-15 mins later for the next train to arrive.
GOSH.
The MOST CRAZIEST THING IS WAD YOU KNOW... TO TAKE 3 ROLLER COASTER RIDES CONSECUTIVELY...in the MORNING, when I was ALL LETHARGIC. and it just so happened that the first ride is the MOSTTTTT SCARIEST RIDE when I thought it would be slightly better den the cyclone one. BUT IT'S NOT THAT CASE. The first drop makes me want to cry..and I seriously hope the ride would faster end if not I'd just die.
And it's super uncomfortable to keep feeling the free fall..Anyway, I get to talked to mag in the air. I said, "I THINK WE'RE GOING TO DROP." and she replied, "yeah I know!! we are!"
So...after taking the human ride, I was feared and shook so badly, hesistating to take the cyclone ride when I saw the warning notice that says it has 5 up-side down turns! So, I was saying to mag and jeremy, One, not enough.. Two, not enough.. Three, err...maybe also not enough... Four, enough and maybe... Five, OKAY! NO MORE!! THATS SUPER ENOUGH. And me and mag was like deciding on what to say while we're flying in the air...so we decided to say," GOD SAVE ME!" and after the ride...we'd want to say, "AMEN!" haha. Den in the end we didn't say anything cos I was screaming all times..It's just so shiok mann. I love the turns. Only the dropping and accelerations makes me felt so helpless like dying. So compared to the human ride, the cyclone one is slightly better. More relaxed. haha :D
Next was the dumb mummy backward motion ride at certain times. Which I think...no kick. Queing up for the rapids adventure was crazy. It took us 2 and a half hrs to take that 2-3 minutes ride. and the slope wasn't that steep. HAHAHA! I didn't get wet as much as the rest. in the end, I myself who brought 3 ponchos and 1 umbrella didn't get wet..In fact, I was the driest. hahhaa!! SEE, the outcome of not wearing ponchos lah people. Timo was funny. He said, "I wasn't scared taking this ride. I was only scared because I scared to get wet." LOL!!!!! Far far away, shrek 4D shows are the best.. But I can't figure out how the spiders effects can came out so real. Among so many things, I realised who timo likes and it's so complicated.
Anw, I gota go sleep now
BYE READERS
Monday, March 28, 2011
A little not too strong girl
Hey readers!
Kinda of slacking this week cos I havent started working.
Next week den start :) Gosh! I felt really upset about my school's schedule. I can't go for ABCamp! It's during my exam period?!?!? Can't even skip school thinking that I still can do my revision there in camp.
It is possible because the camp is in a resort and there's wireless because maggie gona let me use.
So yes...everything is possible..it just need me to get out of school.
Well..this is really a super duper bad news! :( Further bad news that when I scrolled up and down the Godbook that he has created for the church event, I wasn't even on the guest list. He remembered to invite EVERYBODY except me. MEEE!!! MEEE!! HOW CAN HE MISS OUT ME?!? okay. Nvm den. I'd be going even if he doesn't invite anw. But I was really upset. I've seen the guest list and all the people whom I don't usually see in church was even in the guest list... I don't know why I've cried after that..probably I've felt so insignificant in his life.
Not even someone that he remember to invite for a workshop..what more he'll remember me when he's out in UK afterwards? I'd be totally forgotten..
Why is it that I'm shedding tears now?? Idiot me..
Anw.. like I've said or rather expected, maggie is smart. Obviously she gets a lil hint about my interest in him when I start to talk to her about him during ushering and other times. But she didn't get it 100% correct...like on the dot cos she tot that I might have a crush on tim (ben's buddy). She had no idea which one I like. So I've asked her which one she thinks I'll like..She said prolly more of ben. Hahaha. So I've asked her why and she said cos I did more things for him like the birthday card thinggy.
So I was like okayy...I told her I did it cos he's leaving to UK soon. Wanted to give him something because i've never gave him anything personally. Only passed him things that my bro wanted to give him nia. So..she's like the first one to know about my darkest secret..kept from all peeps who knows ben except my family members. I hope she won't brag it out...I trust that she'd remain silent..if not, I wouldn't have told her the truth.
Because she is my longest friend in my life (even before yin san) that still stay in contact and close together. I think she'd know my intention of why I didn't tell anyone. She continued to say about ben is really good..and rare. When she said that I was like thinking to myself, "mmm...u've know him quite well and he'd left good impression uh? Maybe to be honest, you like him too isn't it?" Well, he's really a catch.
Just hope that the secret wouldn't be out further. Right..anw...I'm not crying already and I'm going to sleep now. He better be far far away in my dreams mann.. Don't want to see him or even his shadows in my dream...
So..
BYE READERS!
Kinda of slacking this week cos I havent started working.
Next week den start :) Gosh! I felt really upset about my school's schedule. I can't go for ABCamp! It's during my exam period?!?!? Can't even skip school thinking that I still can do my revision there in camp.
It is possible because the camp is in a resort and there's wireless because maggie gona let me use.
So yes...everything is possible..it just need me to get out of school.
Well..this is really a super duper bad news! :( Further bad news that when I scrolled up and down the Godbook that he has created for the church event, I wasn't even on the guest list. He remembered to invite EVERYBODY except me. MEEE!!! MEEE!! HOW CAN HE MISS OUT ME?!? okay. Nvm den. I'd be going even if he doesn't invite anw. But I was really upset. I've seen the guest list and all the people whom I don't usually see in church was even in the guest list... I don't know why I've cried after that..probably I've felt so insignificant in his life.
Not even someone that he remember to invite for a workshop..what more he'll remember me when he's out in UK afterwards? I'd be totally forgotten..
Why is it that I'm shedding tears now?? Idiot me..
Anw.. like I've said or rather expected, maggie is smart. Obviously she gets a lil hint about my interest in him when I start to talk to her about him during ushering and other times. But she didn't get it 100% correct...like on the dot cos she tot that I might have a crush on tim (ben's buddy). She had no idea which one I like. So I've asked her which one she thinks I'll like..She said prolly more of ben. Hahaha. So I've asked her why and she said cos I did more things for him like the birthday card thinggy.
So I was like okayy...I told her I did it cos he's leaving to UK soon. Wanted to give him something because i've never gave him anything personally. Only passed him things that my bro wanted to give him nia. So..she's like the first one to know about my darkest secret..kept from all peeps who knows ben except my family members. I hope she won't brag it out...I trust that she'd remain silent..if not, I wouldn't have told her the truth.
Because she is my longest friend in my life (even before yin san) that still stay in contact and close together. I think she'd know my intention of why I didn't tell anyone. She continued to say about ben is really good..and rare. When she said that I was like thinking to myself, "mmm...u've know him quite well and he'd left good impression uh? Maybe to be honest, you like him too isn't it?" Well, he's really a catch.
Just hope that the secret wouldn't be out further. Right..anw...I'm not crying already and I'm going to sleep now. He better be far far away in my dreams mann.. Don't want to see him or even his shadows in my dream...
So..
BYE READERS!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Failed surprise party? Who gave the hint away?!
Hey readers! [:
Wow! My week was spent week LOADDS OF CHURCHTIES! it's pretty cool! Havent been like this!
It's like I've seen
1. Tirzah - No of times: 4!
2. Yin San - No of times: 2!
3. Magdalene- 3!
4. Joanna- 2!
5. Elena- 1!
6. Esther wong- 1!
7. Esther Ogawa- 1!
8. Hu KaiQin- 1!
Maggie and san doesnt have anymore to lunch with. So, I've dated tirzah and she asked more to come for lunch :)
I had one of the most awesome chicken rice when I lunched with san! She's VERY good at recommending chicken rice! SIMPLY DELICIOUS AND YUMMY! :) It was pretty rush cos her lunch break is only an hour. Gosh, Jamie pangseh us agn. She've overslept. Well, not surprised. So glad to have a rare guest.. My pretty lady..Brother Jo! haha! :D
I had KFC for lunch with maggie! Had quite an awesome time with them! Like theres loadds of things to share about and check out a few places after lunch. Managed to find a job at Go!Go!Curry :) Nice! There, they'll teach me how to cook! :) I'd have to wash dishes, cook and serve. I think it's really cool and the schedule is pretty awesome! Just have to tell my assi manager when I'm free and she'll schedule me in! SUPER NICE. Best thing was that I dont need to re-dye my hair, buy and wear court shoes, bundle up my hair and wear those black shaggy-aunties pants wear. So yes! loving the dress code? the assistant manager is very very polite! just that I was pretty scared of the staff there cos they were not smiling and giving me the up-down glance.. Gosh, KINDA afraid of the aunties there though. Hope that they won't gimme a tough time..if not.i'd quit in no time? NO NO, i can't. I need money so badly.
Thats the thing when I start to want to go places. Like siging up for things needs registration money, going for BBQ, having good lunches with peeps, and wanting to sign up for camp! OH CAMP!! I got to check whtr it'll clash with the UT period!
Anw, I was really glad that my sister likes me to organise a mini party for her 25th birthday despite that there wasn't any surprises. :(
Why no surprises? WHO GAVE THE HINT AWAY?!
okok readers, here's the person who gave the SURPRISE away...
that person is NONE OTHER THAN ME.
I...I was sending out msgs to the confirmed guests and u noe, have to type the receipients name/number. So I don't know why my sis number was stucked into my head and I just sent to her...without realising that. So, after I've sent out the msg, I was like, "mmm, who did I just sent it to", really forgotten about it. So I went to check the sent msgs, and dropped my jaws! There goes all her surprised faces that worth all my efforts! GOOD GRACIOUS!~~
I've tried to salvage the situation by texting her this, "Oh, I've sent it to the wrong person, please ignore that msg. Thanks."
And immediately her reply was, "HAHA! No surprise liao.."
Next, her boyfriend texted me and said, "She said you gave the hint away."
Okay, so...all the efforts in trying to draw info from her bf about when she's coming back, what time is the movie and everything gone into waste. and also all the confirmed guests had a surprise instead of my sis because they didn't know that she wasn't surprised after I've told them that day.
The "BEST" thing was that my sis was there at the bustop and she saw me and tirzah while esther quickly ran and hide herself. I've tried to shoo her away and ask her to walk around in khatib central until 6.30 (her bf predicted time that she'd get home) So in the end...she's back home early den us...seeing all the decorations on the fall and BIG signboards.
Well...anw, she didn't know who i've invited and she had a sweet time of fellowship with her churchties (all the ladies were of her age!) So we've great time catching up one another, playing monopoly deal and celebrating her birthday! MY MUM FIXED A FEAST! she's really a great cooker and she blames me for not helping her out at the kitchen which I've said I'd do so... Feeling guilty and said sorry to her. Hope that I'd keep my word. Somehow I was really busy with the signboards and getting the decorations organised.
IT WAS A BLAST! and her friends wanted me to do it agn next year..and I was like...ermmm..okay? I'll try..ya noe. It's not like every year I'm free during this time.
So, I'm so looking forward to tomorrow! going out wif my dearest mag and san. Will be stucked with them for the whole day.
I better fix a day with kimmy before she gets busy or rather before I get busy too. Gona start work in one week's time though.
Well, hope that he came back realising that I'm not "there" anymore.
cause, my heart wants to stop going all out for him :) but I know it hasn't stop. FAIL-ed (I JUST THINK IT'S TOO EARLY TO SAY THAT?!)
BYE READERS.
Wow! My week was spent week LOADDS OF CHURCHTIES! it's pretty cool! Havent been like this!
It's like I've seen
1. Tirzah - No of times: 4!
2. Yin San - No of times: 2!
3. Magdalene- 3!
4. Joanna- 2!
5. Elena- 1!
6. Esther wong- 1!
7. Esther Ogawa- 1!
8. Hu KaiQin- 1!
Maggie and san doesnt have anymore to lunch with. So, I've dated tirzah and she asked more to come for lunch :)
I had one of the most awesome chicken rice when I lunched with san! She's VERY good at recommending chicken rice! SIMPLY DELICIOUS AND YUMMY! :) It was pretty rush cos her lunch break is only an hour. Gosh, Jamie pangseh us agn. She've overslept. Well, not surprised. So glad to have a rare guest.. My pretty lady..Brother Jo! haha! :D
I had KFC for lunch with maggie! Had quite an awesome time with them! Like theres loadds of things to share about and check out a few places after lunch. Managed to find a job at Go!Go!Curry :) Nice! There, they'll teach me how to cook! :) I'd have to wash dishes, cook and serve. I think it's really cool and the schedule is pretty awesome! Just have to tell my assi manager when I'm free and she'll schedule me in! SUPER NICE. Best thing was that I dont need to re-dye my hair, buy and wear court shoes, bundle up my hair and wear those black shaggy-aunties pants wear. So yes! loving the dress code? the assistant manager is very very polite! just that I was pretty scared of the staff there cos they were not smiling and giving me the up-down glance.. Gosh, KINDA afraid of the aunties there though. Hope that they won't gimme a tough time..if not.i'd quit in no time? NO NO, i can't. I need money so badly.
Thats the thing when I start to want to go places. Like siging up for things needs registration money, going for BBQ, having good lunches with peeps, and wanting to sign up for camp! OH CAMP!! I got to check whtr it'll clash with the UT period!
Anw, I was really glad that my sister likes me to organise a mini party for her 25th birthday despite that there wasn't any surprises. :(
Why no surprises? WHO GAVE THE HINT AWAY?!
okok readers, here's the person who gave the SURPRISE away...
that person is NONE OTHER THAN ME.
I...I was sending out msgs to the confirmed guests and u noe, have to type the receipients name/number. So I don't know why my sis number was stucked into my head and I just sent to her...without realising that. So, after I've sent out the msg, I was like, "mmm, who did I just sent it to", really forgotten about it. So I went to check the sent msgs, and dropped my jaws! There goes all her surprised faces that worth all my efforts! GOOD GRACIOUS!~~
I've tried to salvage the situation by texting her this, "Oh, I've sent it to the wrong person, please ignore that msg. Thanks."
And immediately her reply was, "HAHA! No surprise liao.."
Next, her boyfriend texted me and said, "She said you gave the hint away."
Okay, so...all the efforts in trying to draw info from her bf about when she's coming back, what time is the movie and everything gone into waste. and also all the confirmed guests had a surprise instead of my sis because they didn't know that she wasn't surprised after I've told them that day.
The "BEST" thing was that my sis was there at the bustop and she saw me and tirzah while esther quickly ran and hide herself. I've tried to shoo her away and ask her to walk around in khatib central until 6.30 (her bf predicted time that she'd get home) So in the end...she's back home early den us...seeing all the decorations on the fall and BIG signboards.
Well...anw, she didn't know who i've invited and she had a sweet time of fellowship with her churchties (all the ladies were of her age!) So we've great time catching up one another, playing monopoly deal and celebrating her birthday! MY MUM FIXED A FEAST! she's really a great cooker and she blames me for not helping her out at the kitchen which I've said I'd do so... Feeling guilty and said sorry to her. Hope that I'd keep my word. Somehow I was really busy with the signboards and getting the decorations organised.
IT WAS A BLAST! and her friends wanted me to do it agn next year..and I was like...ermmm..okay? I'll try..ya noe. It's not like every year I'm free during this time.
So, I'm so looking forward to tomorrow! going out wif my dearest mag and san. Will be stucked with them for the whole day.
I better fix a day with kimmy before she gets busy or rather before I get busy too. Gona start work in one week's time though.
Well, hope that he came back realising that I'm not "there" anymore.
cause, my heart wants to stop going all out for him :) but I know it hasn't stop. FAIL-ed (I JUST THINK IT'S TOO EARLY TO SAY THAT?!)
BYE READERS.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The same thought for Yesterday, Today, may be forever.
I blogged because I want you to know, but I don't want to tell u.
P.s.: I'm sorry, because..I don't know how to just say it or make known to u about all that I've felt.
P.s.: I'm sorry, because..I don't know how to just say it or make known to u about all that I've felt.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
the "Zhous" 7 days of "adventure"
Hey readers! [:
It wasn't really an adventure to China thou.
Well, I had travelled to Guangzhou, xiamen (Fujian), Quan Zhou, Shen Zhen and back to Guangzhou during these 7 days!
It wasn't that awesome at all..I'm carnophobic. (Car phobia) Er.. Okay..I've came out this phobia myself. I'm so sick of travelling as you know, travelling to places in CHINA (BIG BIG BIG COUNTRY) really ate up almost 50% of the time spent during this trip.
Airbus (8hours to and fro), Bus (8hours plus), Car (10000000000 hours)
Also, I had to go with my dad to inspect the goods. I didn't inspect the goods, but he did. Many workers there look at me as though I'm a super star or what. I mean..they really don't see girls often or what. Need to look at me until like that wan meh? Seriously, I couldn't agree more with my mum when she said she has brought a pig here. That piggy is me yea? Cos for the whole trip, after I've ate, I fell asleep easily in the car. Eat and sleep..eat and sleep.. Yea.. So thats why this trip isn't an adventurous trip.
Anw, the most awesome thing about this trip is that I've managed to try a lot of food and beverages! Some were very amazing! and I love Singapore Sling! I realised that I couldn't drink and I can get drunk easily. Cos after I had the whole cup of the cocktail, I felt drowsy and my face is warm. I love the colour of my cheeks thou. It's pinkish! Dunnid to put on any blusher. :) There were weird seafood that uncle Dolf brought us to eat. Seriously, I LOVE TO EAT THE FISH THERE. So tantalising and simply delicious when it's steamed and added with soya sauce and the stock used was simply awesome! The most disappointing thing about this trip was that I didn't managed to try the dumpling with the soup inside. But the best thing about this trip was having a ready roasted chicken that was pipping hot in the midst of the cold strong wind.
The food there in up-down-9-steps-streets (direct translation from chinese) were so so affordable! best bargains there! It's like you can get 6 tako balls at the price of s$2. ITS 6!!! and noodles, dumplings and xiao chi cost less than $2. :)
Not only the food, but the stuffs that you can find there were super affordable too! It's like you can get nail polish at 40cents, umbrella at $3, long jeans at $7, very glamorous clothes at $7-9. Shoes at $7.80-9.00. Watch and sun glasses at $2 and many more!
At first, I thought I won't get to go to these places cos no one knows where to shop and eat at great prices. Morever, I was thoroughly disappointed when Uncle Dolf brought me to leather factory to shop for bags and the other shops that I've visited...the prices were not good! SOO EXPENSIVE. So I did lose hope. I thought I've found a great shopping place in QuanZhou. So I've bought about 3 pieces of clothes and 2 rings there. And it does cost me quite a lot. If I know that I'd be going to up down 9 steps streets, I wouldn't have bought anything there cos it's overpriced compared to that street. So I've ended up having less money to shop in that up down 9 steps street... *sobs* It does bites me.
Not only the food and the stuffs that you can find there...but the prices for haircut and hair styling were very affordable too! I did treatment, wash, blow and dyed my hair at about S$20+. I've done rebonding at Xia men and I've a hair cut already. So I didn't wanted them to cut my hair anymore if not my hair would have split ends. Btw, on the 2nd day, I've already rebonded my hair! And its TWO HANDSOME guys doing my hair..applying cream and blow my hair simultaneously. Shiok right?? Den at up down 9 step streets, the guys that were doing my hair were also quite cute and good looking. One of the guys asked a lot of questions and he laughed when I keep wanting to go to the toilet. The toilet was super...ermm..how to say..weird? Cos the hole (which was square in shape) to contain the excretory products were about A5 size! (A test for accuracy uh? Have to aim properly). The worse thing was that I have no idea which side I should stand to pee... :/ The magazine typed Singapore in Chinese wrongly and I just laughed my head off when he was dying my hair away.
Anw, I've felt so cheated by my mum cos she said that it's about 25deg celsius when it's actually 15deg celsius! There goes all the shorts that I've brought for the trip. And worse still...I'm the only person who wore shorts and people were giving me the up and down glance...thinking that I must have came from some other planets or that they were prolly impressed that I can tahan the cold?... haha!
I've finally get to watch P.S I love you in the netbook. It does made me think that probably..I should be like the girl.. When she received the last letter from her late husband, she felt that he's really no longer there. Not there anymore. She lives on strong without his presence. And she would still write to him.
Life goes on.. I just really felt so angry that the fact that me and him were merely acquaintances. I'm not important to him and yet he's so precious to me. I think about him so often...and he probably doesn't think of me at all.. He's all I think about at night. And he know nuts about it.
I'm so keen about him that I've often went on to his facebook to browse and laughed at his silly photos taken and admire those charming looks and nasty-yet-cute comments he and his friends made. Yet, he might have not been looking at my fb pics..or even read the status. I'm mad. I'm mad about myself liking someone who doesn't even think of me, doesn't miss me, doesn't love me at all. It's been a several weeks that I didn't see him..and here I am..missing him so much that during all these nights, he has appeared in my dreams. I dreamt that I was surprised to see him attending a church event where we go for NDP and he was wearing the THINK shirt and with a backpack, walking up the stage with the rest casually.
It beats me hard. Causing so many pain and afflictions when I think that I mean nothing to him at all. I had no place in his heart. Not even a diameter of a needle..
I'm trying to walk out from this shadow hard. I don't want to keep walking behind him. I just want to be on my own..hoping that even I lose sight of him, I won't feel any pain or bitterness..
Seriously, I'm not doing well in making decisions that were not due to his presence/cause or anything to do with him. Cos..even when I had my hairdo, I kept thinking to myself...probably if my hair is nice, I'll be able to attract more of his attention. When chosing clothes, I kept asking myself, "will he like to see a girl wearing this?, althou I felt the clothes are nice. "Shall I skip school just to attend ABCamp," becos most probably that would be the last camp I could attend before he leave to UK. I'm ABSOLUTELY still making decisions based on him.
Goshh..When will this disaster end? When....???..
It wasn't really an adventure to China thou.
Well, I had travelled to Guangzhou, xiamen (Fujian), Quan Zhou, Shen Zhen and back to Guangzhou during these 7 days!
It wasn't that awesome at all..I'm carnophobic. (Car phobia) Er.. Okay..I've came out this phobia myself. I'm so sick of travelling as you know, travelling to places in CHINA (BIG BIG BIG COUNTRY) really ate up almost 50% of the time spent during this trip.
Airbus (8hours to and fro), Bus (8hours plus), Car (10000000000 hours)
Also, I had to go with my dad to inspect the goods. I didn't inspect the goods, but he did. Many workers there look at me as though I'm a super star or what. I mean..they really don't see girls often or what. Need to look at me until like that wan meh? Seriously, I couldn't agree more with my mum when she said she has brought a pig here. That piggy is me yea? Cos for the whole trip, after I've ate, I fell asleep easily in the car. Eat and sleep..eat and sleep.. Yea.. So thats why this trip isn't an adventurous trip.
Anw, the most awesome thing about this trip is that I've managed to try a lot of food and beverages! Some were very amazing! and I love Singapore Sling! I realised that I couldn't drink and I can get drunk easily. Cos after I had the whole cup of the cocktail, I felt drowsy and my face is warm. I love the colour of my cheeks thou. It's pinkish! Dunnid to put on any blusher. :) There were weird seafood that uncle Dolf brought us to eat. Seriously, I LOVE TO EAT THE FISH THERE. So tantalising and simply delicious when it's steamed and added with soya sauce and the stock used was simply awesome! The most disappointing thing about this trip was that I didn't managed to try the dumpling with the soup inside. But the best thing about this trip was having a ready roasted chicken that was pipping hot in the midst of the cold strong wind.
The food there in up-down-9-steps-streets (direct translation from chinese) were so so affordable! best bargains there! It's like you can get 6 tako balls at the price of s$2. ITS 6!!! and noodles, dumplings and xiao chi cost less than $2. :)
Not only the food, but the stuffs that you can find there were super affordable too! It's like you can get nail polish at 40cents, umbrella at $3, long jeans at $7, very glamorous clothes at $7-9. Shoes at $7.80-9.00. Watch and sun glasses at $2 and many more!
At first, I thought I won't get to go to these places cos no one knows where to shop and eat at great prices. Morever, I was thoroughly disappointed when Uncle Dolf brought me to leather factory to shop for bags and the other shops that I've visited...the prices were not good! SOO EXPENSIVE. So I did lose hope. I thought I've found a great shopping place in QuanZhou. So I've bought about 3 pieces of clothes and 2 rings there. And it does cost me quite a lot. If I know that I'd be going to up down 9 steps streets, I wouldn't have bought anything there cos it's overpriced compared to that street. So I've ended up having less money to shop in that up down 9 steps street... *sobs* It does bites me.
Not only the food and the stuffs that you can find there...but the prices for haircut and hair styling were very affordable too! I did treatment, wash, blow and dyed my hair at about S$20+. I've done rebonding at Xia men and I've a hair cut already. So I didn't wanted them to cut my hair anymore if not my hair would have split ends. Btw, on the 2nd day, I've already rebonded my hair! And its TWO HANDSOME guys doing my hair..applying cream and blow my hair simultaneously. Shiok right?? Den at up down 9 step streets, the guys that were doing my hair were also quite cute and good looking. One of the guys asked a lot of questions and he laughed when I keep wanting to go to the toilet. The toilet was super...ermm..how to say..weird? Cos the hole (which was square in shape) to contain the excretory products were about A5 size! (A test for accuracy uh? Have to aim properly). The worse thing was that I have no idea which side I should stand to pee... :/ The magazine typed Singapore in Chinese wrongly and I just laughed my head off when he was dying my hair away.
Anw, I've felt so cheated by my mum cos she said that it's about 25deg celsius when it's actually 15deg celsius! There goes all the shorts that I've brought for the trip. And worse still...I'm the only person who wore shorts and people were giving me the up and down glance...thinking that I must have came from some other planets or that they were prolly impressed that I can tahan the cold?... haha!
I've finally get to watch P.S I love you in the netbook. It does made me think that probably..I should be like the girl.. When she received the last letter from her late husband, she felt that he's really no longer there. Not there anymore. She lives on strong without his presence. And she would still write to him.
Life goes on.. I just really felt so angry that the fact that me and him were merely acquaintances. I'm not important to him and yet he's so precious to me. I think about him so often...and he probably doesn't think of me at all.. He's all I think about at night. And he know nuts about it.
I'm so keen about him that I've often went on to his facebook to browse and laughed at his silly photos taken and admire those charming looks and nasty-yet-cute comments he and his friends made. Yet, he might have not been looking at my fb pics..or even read the status. I'm mad. I'm mad about myself liking someone who doesn't even think of me, doesn't miss me, doesn't love me at all. It's been a several weeks that I didn't see him..and here I am..missing him so much that during all these nights, he has appeared in my dreams. I dreamt that I was surprised to see him attending a church event where we go for NDP and he was wearing the THINK shirt and with a backpack, walking up the stage with the rest casually.
It beats me hard. Causing so many pain and afflictions when I think that I mean nothing to him at all. I had no place in his heart. Not even a diameter of a needle..
I'm trying to walk out from this shadow hard. I don't want to keep walking behind him. I just want to be on my own..hoping that even I lose sight of him, I won't feel any pain or bitterness..
Seriously, I'm not doing well in making decisions that were not due to his presence/cause or anything to do with him. Cos..even when I had my hairdo, I kept thinking to myself...probably if my hair is nice, I'll be able to attract more of his attention. When chosing clothes, I kept asking myself, "will he like to see a girl wearing this?, althou I felt the clothes are nice. "Shall I skip school just to attend ABCamp," becos most probably that would be the last camp I could attend before he leave to UK. I'm ABSOLUTELY still making decisions based on him.
Goshh..When will this disaster end? When....???..
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I've been good. What about you?
Hey readers [:
To my utmost surprise, the friday's job that Nigel recommended was super slack. I've NEVER WORK SO SHIOK IN MY LIFE BEFORE! It's like I just have to make popcorns and serve the guest. And I don't really have to serve much cause there ain't loadds of people. And plus it was a movie night. So we all get to watch movie. And the guest was so nice, he offered us to help ourselves with the buffet. Being so excited, I called my mother and told her how slack and nice the job was :) Oh gosh, Kimmy was mistaken by an uncle..He tot she was malay! okay, I've finally got someone to join me in this "Sorry-I'm-not-malay" group. Today got people tot that I was from malaysia.
The next day was dragonboating! GOSH! I've slept so late and I almost couldn't make it on time. But God has His plan and with His help and in His timing, I WAS EARLY (by a few minutes!) :D SUPER NICE! Again, this outing taught me faith in God and prayer. It was kinda of disappointing at first because there was a heavy rain and we couldn't start on time. We all hope that it'll be just a heavy passing rain. and it did! Many prayers were answered I guess! and OFF TO DRAGONBOATING! HAHAHA! It was so fun to paddle, splashing water at each others' team boats, doing funny actions, counting the strokes, learning the paddle strokes and different commands (Easy, Hold water, Paddle's up!, Go)! Viking the boat and racing was pretty fun too! haha! AND MY TEAM GOT FIRST and we sang we're the champion! (no time for losers cause we are the CHAMPIONS!) :D
I had dinner with marvin, jethro and kenneth after the dragonboat session. It's how amazing that 10+ people can squeeze in Uncle Richard's van! Jet tries to be funny. Ask me whether I wanna sit on his lap a not and I was thinking, "WAD?! I DON'T WANT. YOU'RE NOT BEN." :DD
It was a thrilling ride down cause people keep on "bullying" me by poking me and making me laugh. I can't run away because I sat the center. *sighs* These people are so annoying. And when Tirzah poke me..I shook off and I've almost fell off from the chair when the van suddenly brake. Den all of us was like AHHH!! AND I WHOOOOOOOOOO~~ Don't worry. I didn't break my legs or hands. or else I wouldn't be sitting here and type about my previous week :D
We had carl Jn for dinner!! And kenneth said that Carl junior dad's name was also carl! so that's carl senior. :/ Right..
I hadn't tried the freshly brewed ice lemon tea and I've felt so cheated! It says ICE lemon tea. and in the end it's a luke warm lemon tea. And it's so bitter. It's really lemon TEA. So after jet tried it he was like *pukes*, "I don't wanna drink it anymore." I was like, "Aiyoh, u arh.. lemme try and taste issit really that bad a not." Den my reaction was even worse..I was like *pukes pukes and puke harder* It was really that bad cos I didn't add sugar syrup as I din notice it until I went to refill marvin's cup with coke + sprite. It was a HEAVY HEAVY dinner! It was rather weird to go back with jethro cos it's like we don't usually talk. And cos we're heading the same way using the similar transport mode, I was like kinda "force" to have to talk to him. So I've been talking about shit..pee and fart. :D (I guess he couldn't take it. and keep asking me to stop and said "OK?..") I've talked lot about Bmet and joked about the lady called," lau zai boah" and told him that hopefully she won't marry to a guy with a surname "seow" if not she would be called "siao zai boah". And he told me about lucas' teacher's name was I Qu. and her hubby's surname is "low". So altogether become LOW I Q. haha!!! what a joke! seriously..
I've went to comment on ben's facebook's status :
"aiyah, maybe ur mopiko expire already lah. :/ (seems like the mosquitoes are "mopiko-resistant" breed. U must been scratching all over ur body) Anw, use try using antihistamine drugs :D"
Den..this was his reply..
"i din say im using mopiko and its not working wad!
vic: life is fine =) how r u man? got my french desert waiting for me? haha"
Goshh..okay anw. I was happy that he commented back. :D
So about today..it was really really tiring cos I spent my night to edit and print the reimbursement forms for RYFL. Getting things sorted out neatly and by the time I've finished, it's around 12+. Great..insomnia problems. Couldn't sleep in time and so today..I was thoroughly worn out. Great that I've no piano lesson today cos I've postponed it to wed. I was challenged to imitate Paul and had understood wad it means for me to live is Christ and to die is gain. I simply love how it was been covered when Joanna spotted all the paradoxes. Seriously, the world tends to think that to live is for myself..and surely to die, is nothing and it's loss (or a way to escape problems) Whereas God's word says that dying for Christ is gain because our biggest reward is that we can be with God forever more! although there might be crown of righteousness and so on. but that's the greatest thing! I start to imagine myself having this image of me talking to God so freely and He bend down to hear my feeble requests, a kind and loving Father image. It does makes me felt really good. I seriously would want to take up the challenge and to just want to have this intimate relationship with my Lord and nothing else can stop me from living my life for my Lord.
Oh..So yes..tonight for gospel, I've played Christ alone medley. It went better den I thought :) Played pretty okay and didn't screw up. So yess! :D Uncle Aaron said that I've played the piano well. heh. and many others thanked me for helping them to play the piano. :D
It's been nice here..wondering how's life been for him.. Hope that all is well. Heard from Uncle Kian Huat that the 3 guys there have to learn how to cook and wash dishes for the peeps there. Really nice :)
Bye readers!
To my utmost surprise, the friday's job that Nigel recommended was super slack. I've NEVER WORK SO SHIOK IN MY LIFE BEFORE! It's like I just have to make popcorns and serve the guest. And I don't really have to serve much cause there ain't loadds of people. And plus it was a movie night. So we all get to watch movie. And the guest was so nice, he offered us to help ourselves with the buffet. Being so excited, I called my mother and told her how slack and nice the job was :) Oh gosh, Kimmy was mistaken by an uncle..He tot she was malay! okay, I've finally got someone to join me in this "Sorry-I'm-not-malay" group. Today got people tot that I was from malaysia.
The next day was dragonboating! GOSH! I've slept so late and I almost couldn't make it on time. But God has His plan and with His help and in His timing, I WAS EARLY (by a few minutes!) :D SUPER NICE! Again, this outing taught me faith in God and prayer. It was kinda of disappointing at first because there was a heavy rain and we couldn't start on time. We all hope that it'll be just a heavy passing rain. and it did! Many prayers were answered I guess! and OFF TO DRAGONBOATING! HAHAHA! It was so fun to paddle, splashing water at each others' team boats, doing funny actions, counting the strokes, learning the paddle strokes and different commands (Easy, Hold water, Paddle's up!, Go)! Viking the boat and racing was pretty fun too! haha! AND MY TEAM GOT FIRST and we sang we're the champion! (no time for losers cause we are the CHAMPIONS!) :D
I had dinner with marvin, jethro and kenneth after the dragonboat session. It's how amazing that 10+ people can squeeze in Uncle Richard's van! Jet tries to be funny. Ask me whether I wanna sit on his lap a not and I was thinking, "WAD?! I DON'T WANT. YOU'RE NOT BEN." :DD
It was a thrilling ride down cause people keep on "bullying" me by poking me and making me laugh. I can't run away because I sat the center. *sighs* These people are so annoying. And when Tirzah poke me..I shook off and I've almost fell off from the chair when the van suddenly brake. Den all of us was like AHHH!! AND I WHOOOOOOOOOO~~ Don't worry. I didn't break my legs or hands. or else I wouldn't be sitting here and type about my previous week :D
We had carl Jn for dinner!! And kenneth said that Carl junior dad's name was also carl! so that's carl senior. :/ Right..
I hadn't tried the freshly brewed ice lemon tea and I've felt so cheated! It says ICE lemon tea. and in the end it's a luke warm lemon tea. And it's so bitter. It's really lemon TEA. So after jet tried it he was like *pukes*, "I don't wanna drink it anymore." I was like, "Aiyoh, u arh.. lemme try and taste issit really that bad a not." Den my reaction was even worse..I was like *pukes pukes and puke harder* It was really that bad cos I didn't add sugar syrup as I din notice it until I went to refill marvin's cup with coke + sprite. It was a HEAVY HEAVY dinner! It was rather weird to go back with jethro cos it's like we don't usually talk. And cos we're heading the same way using the similar transport mode, I was like kinda "force" to have to talk to him. So I've been talking about shit..pee and fart. :D (I guess he couldn't take it. and keep asking me to stop and said "OK?..") I've talked lot about Bmet and joked about the lady called," lau zai boah" and told him that hopefully she won't marry to a guy with a surname "seow" if not she would be called "siao zai boah". And he told me about lucas' teacher's name was I Qu. and her hubby's surname is "low". So altogether become LOW I Q. haha!!! what a joke! seriously..
I've went to comment on ben's facebook's status :
This status had misled me. I tot the mopiko wasn't effective and he might have been suffering from hundreds of mosquitoes at cambodia and prolly have been scratching all over his body. So I commented:
"aiyah, maybe ur mopiko expire already lah. :/ (seems like the mosquitoes are "mopiko-resistant" breed. U must been scratching all over ur body) Anw, use try using antihistamine drugs :D"
Den..this was his reply..
"i din say im using mopiko and its not working wad!
vic: life is fine =) how r u man? got my french desert waiting for me? haha"
Goshh..okay anw. I was happy that he commented back. :D
So about today..it was really really tiring cos I spent my night to edit and print the reimbursement forms for RYFL. Getting things sorted out neatly and by the time I've finished, it's around 12+. Great..insomnia problems. Couldn't sleep in time and so today..I was thoroughly worn out. Great that I've no piano lesson today cos I've postponed it to wed. I was challenged to imitate Paul and had understood wad it means for me to live is Christ and to die is gain. I simply love how it was been covered when Joanna spotted all the paradoxes. Seriously, the world tends to think that to live is for myself..and surely to die, is nothing and it's loss (or a way to escape problems) Whereas God's word says that dying for Christ is gain because our biggest reward is that we can be with God forever more! although there might be crown of righteousness and so on. but that's the greatest thing! I start to imagine myself having this image of me talking to God so freely and He bend down to hear my feeble requests, a kind and loving Father image. It does makes me felt really good. I seriously would want to take up the challenge and to just want to have this intimate relationship with my Lord and nothing else can stop me from living my life for my Lord.
Oh..So yes..tonight for gospel, I've played Christ alone medley. It went better den I thought :) Played pretty okay and didn't screw up. So yess! :D Uncle Aaron said that I've played the piano well. heh. and many others thanked me for helping them to play the piano. :D
It's been nice here..wondering how's life been for him.. Hope that all is well. Heard from Uncle Kian Huat that the 3 guys there have to learn how to cook and wash dishes for the peeps there. Really nice :)
Bye readers!
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